


Lepidium Sativum (Or a Fancy Word for Cress)

by SEpupppupp (ForNought)



Series: bloom [1]
Category: Produce 101 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bad Ideas, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Jungjung and Eungi are terrible parents, M/M, Xiyeon is Euiwoong's ex so it isn't all bad, one-sided Justin/euiwoong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2018-12-04 14:40:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 66,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11557311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForNought/pseuds/SEpupppupp
Summary: Minghao really, really, really likes Euiwoong! He is so cool and sophisticated and he is essentially perfect. Even though they are friends, Minghao knows that Euiwoong isn't looking at him. Seonho has the brilliant idea of making Euiwoong jealous with a bit of fake dating.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [minhyungie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/minhyungie/gifts).



> I'm sorry!! This is going to be chaptered because otherwise I don't know how long it will be until I post it (and I unfortunately won't be making any promises about a posting schedule) but this is the first bit for now!!!  
> 

Since entering high school, Minghao had become something of a fan of Lee Euiwoong. They were technically friends because Minghao had been absorbed into a group of students who walked home the same way and Euiwoong appeared to be the ringleader.

The realisation had been encroaching at the fringes of Minghao’s consciousness for a few weeks and it was cemented for him when the group stopped to buy burgers instead of heading straight home. There was nothing special about the day, as the group went out together quite often to avoid having to study, but Minghao couldn't push the day out of his mind.

Euiwoong had offered Minghao his milkshake because the machine had broken by the time it was Minghao’s turn to be served. It was a small gesture. Tiny. Miniscule, even! But Minghao felt his heart stutter in his chest and he almost dropped the milkshake when their fingers brushed as Euiwoong passed the drink over.

After that day, many of Minghao’s daydreams were clotted with bursts of strawberry sweetness.

Minghao liked to consider himself Euiwoong’s friend before his fan, but when very casually and coolly mentioning the great Euiwoong at lunchtime he was accused horribly of being a member of Euiwoong’s fan club.

“Lee Euiwoong has a fan club?” Minghao asked.

“Yes,” Samuel said at the same time Seonho said, “It is an expression.”

Minghao didn't quite believe they were talking about a literal fan club because he was sure he would have heard about meetings and support events. Not that he was tempted to go if he caught wind of such activities. Minghao didn't believe it, but Samuel and Seonho still exchanged a look before Seonho changed his reply.

“Recruitment is ending soon. The joining fee is ₩4,800.”

“That hyung is popular?” Minghao asked, ignoring the silly things Seonho was saying.

“Oh my god, he is so popular!” Samuel confirmed. Minghao didn’t want to hear things like that. He wanted to be told that Euiwoong was a detestable troll who people cringed away from whenever he passed them. Of course, something like that could never be true because Euiwoong was inoffensively handsome and polite to a fault. He also had a fantastic forehead and Minghao struggled not to think about what it would be like to study the smooth, poreless skin more closely.

Seonho disagreed. “Seonbae’s not ‘me’ popular. He isn’t on the basketball team, or any other sports team for that matter. Also, I have never seen him make anybody cry simply by tinkling about on a piano.”

“Nobody cried because you were good,” Samuel said drily. “Jungmin-seonbae cried because you tried to kill her pet tarantula.”

“Why would anyone bring a spider to school? And let it loose on a piano?” Seonho asked.

Samuel shook his head and leaned closer to Minghao across the table. “Seonho opened the box because he thought it was food. I wish you could have heard him scream when this big, hairy creature crawled out.”

“I didn’t scream, I simply announced my surprise,” Seonho said.

“He cried too,” Samuel added. “Jungmin-seonbae hugged him and tried to calm him down before she realised that he had set the tarantula free and tried to kill it.”

Seonho sounded very indignant about something as he started babbling in unfamiliar sounds. Samuel rolled his eyes and responded just as unintelligibly. Minghao didn’t even pretend to understand as he ate his lunch. He didn’t have much left between Zhengting siphoning off portions before Minghao had managed to leave the house and Seonho stealing mouthfuls the second Minghao had opened his lunchbox.

The first few times Samuel and Seonho made these strange noises together, Minghao had been extremely confused. It was not until Seonho had babbled at Minghao in fragments of Chinese sounds that he began to understand. He had a more complete comprehension when Samuel said, “He lied about being able to understand Chinese. He claimed he could speak English too when I joined his middle school and I had to struggle with work for weeks because he kept pretending to help me.”

Since discovering that his time settling into the school had been entrusted to a fraud, Minghao stopped paying so much attention to what Seonho said.

“You didn't leave any for me,” Seonho whined pitifully when he noticed the last crumbs of Minghao’s lunch passing his lips. Minghao would definitely ignore silly things like that. There was no need for Seonho to be such a glutton. For weeks he had been telling Minghao he needed the extra calories to power his perfect body and massive brain, but that reasoning held as much water as Zhengting claiming to need an hourly pizza because his beautiful face metabolised food too quickly. Zhengting had cried when Minghao pointed out that his favourite leather trousers were getting tight, but Minghao doubted the same tactic would work so well on Seonho.

“Stop eating Justin’s lunch,” Samuel said. “He is wasting away because you keep making him starve.”

“I am not making him do anything,” Seonho said. It was a bold claim that Minghao wasn't about to accept.

“I don't have a choice about starving if there is no food,” Minghao said. Seonho looked genuinely surprised and Minghao wondered how many people Seonho knew who sentenced themselves to starvation just to see him happy. He claimed to be popular so there had to be a fair few victims.

“You should bring more food so that you don't starve,” Seonho eventually retorted, sounding a little injured.

Minghao’s lunch box slipped from between his hands and happened to fly towards Seonho’s face. It was a complete accident but Minghao didn't hear the end of how he had made an attempt on Seonho’s life until they were at the medical room.

Nurse Yumi squinted at Seonho’s face for a bit and asked if this was yet another occasion that Seonho was seeking confirmation of his beauty. Minghao was pleased to learn that even Yoo Seonho could be ashamed after having his vanity exposed so harshly.

Samuel had to lie down with a cold compress on his forehead after putting too much gusto into wheezing with laughter and suffering from a dizzy spell.

This seemed like the perfect chance to talk more about Euiwoong. Both Seonho and Samuel were mildly incapacitated by the effects of shame and mocking. Minghao was totally casual as he leaned against the wall next to the bed.

“So, do you know if Euiwoong-hyung is going out with anyone right now?”

Samuel made a strange noise and sat up only for the nurse to get up from her chair and shove him back down again. Samuel huffed and glared at the nurse as she returned to sit at her desk but when she looked back at him he smiled. When he was done being facetious, Samuel looked up at Minghao.

“Doesn’t the fact that we call him ‘Seonbae’ while you call him ‘Hyung’ tell you something?” Samuel asked.

“What’s that?”

“You’re closer to him. If you don’t know, we wouldn’t know.”

That was true. He had hoped schoolyard gossip would be reliable but he was probably stuck having to ask Euiwoong himself. Which would be terrible and embarrassing! Minghao couldn’t just ask the question out of nowhere - _Hyung, are you seeing anybody right now?_ \- and give himself away so easily. He couldn’t recall Euiwoong ever mentioning something like a relationship but he didn’t seem the type to flaunt it everywhere. Euiwoong had more prudent atmosphere about him, as though he wouldn’t do anything flashier than setting the lock screen on his phone to a sentimental photo of himself and his significant other. Minghao wanted that! But he didn’t want to ask for it when Euiwoong might already have somebody fulfilling that role.

“What should I do?” Minghao muttered quietly.

“Tell him that you want him to touch your junk,” Seonho suggested.

“I didn’t hear that,” Nurse Yumi said loudly as she typed away on her computer. Seonho rolled his eyes and hopped onto the bed beside Samuel.

“How about seeing how he thinks of you. If you went out with somebody else, you will be able to see if he thinks of you seriously. If he gets jealous, you know you’re in there,” Seonho said, swinging his legs as he sat on the edge of the bed.

“Are you trying to make me tell your form tutor that you are advocating sexual activity on school grounds and emotional manipulation?” Nurse Yumi asked on the back of a sigh.

“What does that mean?” Minghao asked.

“Bad things,” Samuel replied succinctly.

“Yumi-ssaem, I am not a bad person,” Seonho whined.

Minghao wouldn’t vouch for that. Seonho had already proven himself to be a food thief and regularly pretended to be able to speak a handful of nonsense languages just to make fun of people. He had definitely just suggested some inappropriate touching. Minghao wished he had better candidates to discuss his woes with.

Although, the going out with somebody else thing didn’t sound ridiculous. That might only have been because it wasn’t as morally questionable as telling Euiwoong to touch him.

“Yumi-ssaem, what do you think I should do?” Minghao asked. The nurse looked taken aback for a moment before she smiled kindly up at him.

“I think that as a student your priority is to study. You can have relationships when you are older.”

“I am not saying you are wrong, Seonsaengnim,” Samuel said politely, “But I think it would be more helpful to give advice that Justin would want to follow.”

The nurse's gaze turned sharp as she muttered something under her breath. She shook her head and clapped loudly as she stood up from her seat.

“Out, all of you! You are just trying to skive!”

“But I still feel a bit faint,” Samuel protested in a much weaker voice than the one he used just seconds previously.

“Do you have P.E. next?” Nurse Yumi asked sternly.

“No,” Minghao said helpfully.

“Then I am sure you will be fine,” She replied, briskly ushering them to the door.

It was only when they were on their way back to the classroom, Samuel’s grumbling reduced to sullen murmurs, that Seonho grinned widely and slung his arms across Minghao’s shoulders.

“Why do you look so happy?”

“Nobody else has said anything more helpful than me today,” Seonho preened. “You should use my idea! Don't you worry, my inexperienced friend, I will even pose as your wonderful and irresistible fake boyfriend.”

 

 

Minghao wanted Euiwoong to get jealous and want to steal him away from his fake boyfriend. He didn't want Euiwoong to take pity and try to undo the Stockholm Syndrome which would be the only reason anyone would willingly go out with Seonho. Minghao very carefully rejected Seonho’s offer.

He hoped to get through the rejection nicely, but Samuel had to open his mouth to tell Seonho that there wasn't a worse candidate than him in the whole school.

Seonho had been grouchy for the whole afternoon, even when Minghao offered the packet of crisps that he stored in his desk for emergencies. Minghao was still wondering whether it was worth apologising even on the way home.

Seonho really was the worst! Minghao couldn't even appreciate the rigid line of Euiwoong’s shoulders as he walked slightly ahead. All Minghao could focus on was this sudden guilt. He must have seemed very distracted because Seunghyuk hung back with him and knocked their shoulders together.

“Is anything the matter?” Seunghyuk asked quietly. Quiet or not, speaking in Chinese rarely did anything other than attract the attention of Hyungseob who simply had to know what the big secret was. Minghao waited a moment, surprised when there was no squawking from Hyungseob. He tried to smile back at Seunghyuk as he replied.

“I think I upset someone today.”

“Is it serious? I am sure that tomorrow your friend will understand and you can make up again.”

Seunghyuk always had been one to try to set Minghao at ease even about the most insignificant things. It was nice even if he was usually the person interrupting the time spent admiring Euiwoong. Minghao didn't mind it today, when he was too annoyed to try to have very graceful and poetic thoughts about Euiwoong.

“I don't know, I think I hurt his pride. He was only trying to help me,” Minghao said.

“Are you having some trouble?” Seunghyuk asked.

Seunghyuk was frowning slightly as he peered at Minghao. There wasn’t really anything wrong aside from Minghao being melodramatic about fancying Euiwoong. But it was nice to know that somebody was concerned about this.

“Rather than trouble, I just have a small concern.”

“Do you want some advice? Is there something other than your friend being upset?” Seunghyuk asked.

Minghao shrugged. “I like someone and my friend was helping me work out whether that person likes me back.”

Seunghyuk looked very careful as he took in the information. He swapped neutrality for a small smile after a few strides. Minghao hadn’t really wanted to bother Seunghyuk with silly things like this anyway. Seunghyuk was a third year with important things to worry about, whereas Minghao was at the age where he could easily trifle over things like fancying people. Nurse Yumi had said the time for relationships was later, but he was at the age where all the songs and all the television programmes were tinged with pink so it would be strange for Minghao not to be looking for his own rose-scented hue.

“You like someone?” Seunghyuk eventually asked.

“Yes. It’s just silly really.”

“It isn’t silly,” Seunghyuk said quickly. He flushed a bit and adjusted his collar as he kept his eyes forwards.

Hyungseob kept glancing over his shoulder and had definitely noticed the use of a language he wasn’t entirely familiar with. It wouldn’t be long before Hyungseob kicked up a fuss about being left out.

Seunghyuk was quiet as he said, “Good luck.”

 

 

Maybe Minghao had been emboldened by the well-wishes from Seunghyuk, but the idea he had was as elegant a solution as any. Minghao could keep quiet until the last minute because Seunghyuk lived next door whereas Euiwoong and Hyungseob both split off from the group a bit earlier.

“Would you help me if I had a problem, Hyung?” Minghao asked. His words sounded clumsy and he supposed they matched his intentions. Seunghyuk hesitated at his garden gate before he turned to face Minghao. His expression was pleasant, so it was good news so far.

“Of course I would. Is this about liking somebody?” Seunghyuk asked.

Minghao was relieved that he didn’t need to explain the problem in its entirety. He nodded quickly. “That’s right.”

“How could I help you?” Seunghyuk asked warily.

Minghao knew that the solution to his problem was more burdensome than the problem itself. It would be fine if Seunghyuk said no, he supposed. But he still hoped for a positive reply. He wanted to increase his chances as much as possible.

“I really like Euiwoong-hyung,” Minghao said. “Asking if he likes me directly is scary. Seonho suggested pretending to go out with someone else to try and make him jealous. And so Euiwoong-hyung will think I am mature enough to be his boyfriend. Or something.”

Minghao made the last part up himself. Whether or not Euiwoong was interested in Minghao was one thing, but if he didn’t even see Minghao as a man then affection would be impossible to cultivate.

“You like Euiwoong?” Seunghyuk asked.

“Yes, Hyung,” Minghao said.

“I see,” Seunghyuk said slowly. His smile seemed flatter than usual and it didn’t trigger a smile that started in Minghao’s chest like it usually did.

“Is it weird?” Minghao asked.

“Weird?”

“Euiwoong-hyung has only been a nice friend to me since I started at this school,” Minghao said quietly. There weren’t too many people walking around the neighbourhood, just some ajumma across the road grumbling about how heavy their shopping bags were, but Minghao thought it better to be prudent at times like this. “I have been looking at him strangely. With feelings that he might not like.”

Seunghyuk closed the space between them and reached for Minghao’s hand. He squeezed gently and offered a smile that was more of the usual ilk - he certainly felt reassured by this smile.

“I’m sure that if you approach him with your honest feelings like this he would take you into consideration,” Seunghyuk said.

The smile was reassuring, but even that wasn’t enough for Minghao.

“Does that work often? Has it worked for you?” He asked. Seunghyuk looked surprised and he dropped Minghao’s hand. He looked around as though some answer was going to bloom in mid-air. Minghao’s shoulders dropped. He had hoped, but he knew it would be fruitless. Even someone like Choi Seunghyuk couldn’t confess to a person easily. Minghao tried to smile, because it would be polite to return the gesture Seunghyuk gave him so often, and said, “It’s alright, Hyung.”

“You’re really good-looking and hardworking, Justin,” Seunghyuk said earnestly. “I think if it is you it will be possible.”

“That is still too scary,” Minghao said honestly. He took a deep breath and tried not to sound strange when he said, “There is no pressure, but would you be able to do me a favour? Can you pretend to be my boyfriend to make Euiwoong-hyung jealous?”

Seunghyuk didn’t even react. He didn’t even blink. Minghao cautiously raised his hand and waved it in front of Seunghyuk’s face. This was even scarier than the thought of confessing to Euiwoong.

“Hyung? Are you alright?”

It took a few pinches to Seunghyuk’s arms and a few more strained calls of his name before Seunghyuk’s countenance crumpled a bit.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” He eventually said.

“I know it sounds silly, Hyung,” Minghao agreed. He didn’t have any other ideas. Euiwoong was only a year older than Minghao but he seemed so far away despite the friendship that was there. He was too high calibre for confessing out of the blue to work.

“I am sure there is another way for your feelings to reach him,” Seunghyuk said.

Minghao nodded. “You’re right. I’m sure I can find someone else to pretend to go out with me.”

“What?”

“What’s the matter?” Minghao asked carefully as he tried to wriggle his fingers out of the vice-like grip Seunghyuk had suddenly trapped them in.

“You still intend to do it? You’re going to pretend to go out with somebody to make Euiwoong jealous?” Seunghyuk asked quickly.

“Yes?” Minghao said. If Seunghyuk didn’t release him soon, Minghao was on his way to losing some digits. “I don’t have anymore ideas. In fact when I was with Samuel and Seonho, we even asked Nurse Yumi. She wasn’t helpful though.”

“You don’t have to do it, Justin!”

Minghao would beg to differ. He hoped that he sounded only slightly wry and not at all rude when he asked, “Do you have any ideas, Hyung?”

Seunghyuk looked frustrated. He didn’t have to try so hard on Minghao’s account. It was fine. Minghao had a plan - it was a silly plan, he knew that much, but it was something that would help more than not doing anything at all. If Minghao sat around twiddling his thumbs, any number of people could come for Euiwoong and make him fall for them. Even doing something as silly as pretending to go out with someone was better than not doing anything at all.

“I’ll do it then,” Seunghyuk said quietly.

“You will, Hyung? Really?”

Seunghyuk nodded. He didn’t look to happy about the fact that he was agreeing. He was too considerate for his own good.

“It’s a silly idea, Justin, but I will be your fake boyfriend.”

“Thank you so much, Hyung! I won’t bother you for too long, I promise. Until then, I am in your care!”

“Yeah,” Seunghyuk said quietly. “I’ll look after you.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minghao gets some advice

It had been twenty-four hours since Minghao had got himself a fake boyfriend, but not much had changed for him. Seunghyuk asked to hold his hand on the way to school - which was very nice! That would certainly score him some points with whoever he went out with for real in the future - but Hyungseob had only sniffed primly and Euiwoong had greeted them the same as usual.

Euiwoong hadn’t even shown the slightest bit of interest!

It was an outrage!

Even when Minghao casually mentioned it - because it looked as though Hyungseob was determined not to ask and Euiwoong didn’t appear to care enough to do so - the reactions were dry.

“Oh, congratulations,” Euiwoong had said mildly.

When Minghao complained about it at lunch time, Seonho only scoffed and said, “Holding hands is nothing. If you want Euiwoong-seonbae to care you’ll have to up the difficulty. Go for a kiss or some heavy petting and get him really disgusted.”

“Maybe not what Seonho said, but you should do something a bit more shocking than holding hands. You have a boyfriend. You’re a man now. At least kiss or something,” Samuel had shrugged.

Minghao didn’t think it was fair that Seonho was pretending not to be in a mood with him, while also enlisting the help of Samuel to disseminate bad ideas.

By the time Minghao arrived home, loosely holding on to Seunghyuk’s clammy hand the whole way, he was tired and annoyed. If that wasn’t bad enough, Minghao could smell and hear the tell-tale signs of cooking. So Eungi was there too. Before Minghao even had the chance to take off his coat and his shoes and his horrible uniform which was one of the many things reminding him that he was a year behind Euiwoong at everything, Zhengting accosted him with tight arms and unnecessary kisses on his cheeks.

“Minghao is here!” Zhengting called happily into the house.

“Oh, Justin!” Eungi called back in a surprised voice - as though anybody else would traipse into the house off the streets. “Did you have a good day at school?”

“No,” Justin shouted.

“No?” Zhengting asked.

He patted down Minghao’s torso as though looking for injuries before gripping Minghao’s face, turning it this way and that, lifting his eyelids and scrutinising his eyeballs, pulling at Mingaho’s lips and squinting at his teeth, and running his hands through Minghao’s hair. Once satisfied that there was no physical damage, Zhengting reeled off an oral examination in rapid Chinese that Minghao had trouble keeping up with.

“Are you hurt? Are there any bad people at that school? Do I need to go there and sort it out? Or is it a teacher? Are you struggling with the schoolwork? I know you said that you didn’t want to go to a hagwon but maybe we should get you a personal tutor? Are there many things that you find difficult? Is it because Korean is too difficult? We can both learn properly together, would you like that? Are your teachers giving you trouble because you’re foreign?”

Whether summoned by Minghao’s negative answer, or Zhengting’s frantic interrogation, Eungi appeared and stroked gently at the nape of Minghao’s neck.

“You had a bad day at school? Is there anything we can do to make it better?” Eungi asked.

When Minghao had been allowed to come to study in Korea, he had been hoping for some semblance of independence. He was in the prime of his life and he was out of his parents’ house for the first time and off to live with a family friend who had settled in Korea. Instead, he was lumbered with twice as many mothers as he had back in China, only his actual mother had never fussed over him to this extent. Minghao’s mum was chic and glamorous, only fussing over him the normal amount. She would tell him how precious he was, and make sure he ate before she did, and bought him whatever he wanted, and threatened to make people disappear if they ever upset him - the usual things.

Zhengting and Eungi both took things too far considering they were only in their twenties. It was even worse because after a while it became too difficult to keep up with them firing words at him in different languages and they would eventually turn to scolding him for not paying attention and making them worry.

“Come to sit with us in the kitchen,” Eungi said. He held out his hand and it would be rude of Minghao not to accept the hand and follow along. Eungi’s hand was much dryer than Seunghyuk’s, much more pleasant to hold on to, but he was also leading Minghao to the kitchen which he had undoubtedly rearranged.

Minghao and Eungi both liked the kitchen to be organised in different ways. It wouldn’t have been so much of a problem if Eungi knew a thing about cooking and understood that Minghao’s way was best, but it was mostly Zhengting’s fault for begging them to cook for him so often.

As soon as they were in the kitchen, Zhengting picked up a bowl of what Minghao feared to be melted cheese. Zhengting had already made quick work of a plate of bread rolls which he tore to pieces and dipped into the bowl before eating. He noticed Minghao staring and reluctantly offered the bowl across the table.

“Aren’t you supposed to be on a diet, Zheng-ge?”

Zhengting’s face fell in an instant and he shoved an entire bread roll into his mouth before getting up to drape himself over Eungi’s back. He was whimpering about something or other but it was unintelligible through the bread roll that he was chewing.

“Justin, what did you say to our precious Jungjung-hyung?” Eungi asked sternly. Zhengting made yet more noise though the bread. In fact it looked like he had stopped trying to eat it at all and was now slobbering over Eungi’s shoulder. Eungi reached up to absently pat Zhengting on the head while he squinted at a pot that he was stirring. It smelled nice but Minghao was wary of the expression on Eungi’s face. The expression wasn’t indicative that this was something that was entirely safe to eat.

“I didn’t say anything bad,” Minghao said.

Zhengting disagreed wholeheartedly with this and spat out the remnants of his bread roll - the majority of it landing in the pot Eungi had been frowning at - and wailed, “Eungi, he called me fat!”

Eungi categorically did not care.

“Hyung! You just ruined it!”

The realisation was very slow to dawn on Zhengting and it was not until he started looking around for the crumbs he had spat that he noticed what he had ruined.

“Eungi, I’m sorry!” Zhengting said as he turned Eungi to face him. I didn’t mean to ruin your hard work.”

“I spent all day trying to work out that recipe for dosakmyeon,” Eungi grumbled.

Zhengting glanced at Minghao but there was no way that he was going to get dragged into this. He was still trying to recover from the fact that both Zhengting and Eungi had stopped caring about him so suddenly. With no aid from Minghao, Zhengting flailed for a solution to Eungi’s upset.

“We can probably still eat it,” Zhengting said lamely.

“Who is going to eat that, Hyung?”

Minghao wasn’t sure whether to be appalled or impressed, but Zhengting set his shoulders, gently held Eungi’s face in his hands and said, “Me. I will eat your hard work.”

Eungi regarded Zhengting suspiciously. Minghao did too. The pot was large - quite an ambitious project on Eungi’s part if this was really his first time attempting dosakmyeon - and though Zhengting could eat a lot, he had apparently been filling up on bread and melted cheese before Minghao arrived home.

“You will eat it?” Eungi asked, mollified.

“I will,” Zhengting said solemnly.

“What about me and Justin?”

Zhengting didn’t look as though he had thought that far - not that Minghao was surprised. He had gone many a day having to fight Zhengting for scraps because Minghao didn’t know how to enjoy food in the same way that Zhengting did - and his form was a lot less gallant. Minghao decided to be kind.

“Hyung, we can order pizza,” Minghao said with a kind smile.

“I want pizza,” Zhengting groaned.

“I thought you were going to eat the dosakmyeon. I spent all day on that because you said you wanted to eat it, you know,” Eungi said. He was smiling a little bit and Minghao wasn’t sure whether Zhengting hadn’t noticed or was simply playing along as he pouted and pulled Eungi ever closer.

“Both. Can I have both?”

Minghao didn’t believe it either, but both he and Eungi were stunned into half-horrified silence when Zhengting rose to the challenge. He finished the dosakmyeon, sodden lumps of the bread he had spat out and all, even as he cringed his way through the flavour the whole while. He only managed two slices of pizza but that was more than enough for Minghao to never question Zhengting’s stomach again.

Of course Zhengting whimpered pathetically about how he was about to die, not three seconds after deciding that he had eaten all that he could. Sitting on the living room floor, Eungi petted his hair gently, quietly murmuring about how Zhengting had never needed to go that far for him, and that he loved him all the same, and all sorts of other sappy things that had Minghao fighting against a scowl.

He hoped that he and Euiwoong wouldn’t be as ridiculous as Zhengting and Eungi. He was sure they could seem sweet from time to time, but on the whole it was a hassle to have to live with.

Euiwoong seemed like he would be very no-nonsense about everything and he was equipped to quash any misunderstandings before they arose. Maybe he would be a bit rough and chic, not too obviously affectionate in public but one slight alteration of his countenance would be enough to reaffirm his feelings.

They didn't need to be declaring their endless love for one another every time they walked from one end of a room to another. Even if that sort of thing sounded like it could be nice too.

Minghao realised that he might be a smidgen jealous. It was ridiculous because Minghao was certainly above childishness like pinky-promising to still be in love even if they couldn't eat pizza tomorrow.

“What are you thinking about, Justin?” Eungi asked. Minghao didn't think that he had been so obviously deep in thought. Even Zhengting cracked open his eyes to squint up at Minghao from Eungi’s lap.

“Nothing. It's silly,” Minghao shrugged.

Zhengting hefted himself up with some difficulty and pointed at Minghao.

“Ah! Nothing is silly! Tell us!”

“You don't have to tell us if you don't want to,” Eungi said kindly.

It was a way to get out of this but if Minghao kept being cowardly he would never get Euiwoong to be his boyfriend. He needed some advice.

“How do you two act like that? Isn't it embarrassing?” Minghao asked. They looked nonplussed by the question and it occurred to Minghao that they might not know what he meant. Nobody with a modicum of shame would act like Zhengting and Eungi did in public.

“What is embarrassing?” Zhengting asked.

“It means embarrassing,” Minghao said in Chinese. Zhengting pouted and grumbled that he already knew that much. Eungi was doing a very bad job of hiding his smile and had given up by the time Zhengting turned pathetic eyes on him.

“He’s making fun of me.”

“It’s alright, Hyung,” Eungi cooed as he pulled Zhengting into his arms. He was doing a terrible job of pretending not to be laughing, but he could do quite a good job of pacifying Zhengting at the same time as laughing. Eungi stopped hiding his smile when Zhengting was settled into his chest and looked at Minghao expectantly. “I don’t think that Jungjung-hyung and I are embarrassing.”

“But you are. Even when we are in public the two of you are always like this,” Minghao said.

“We love each other a lot,” Eungi said, his eyes far too gooey and happy for Minghao’s liking. Zhengting nodded and parroted the words. Minghao rolled his eyes.

The answer was far too simplistic, but Minghao wondered if that was enough. Even when Minghao was desensitised to their behaviour to the extent that he ignored Zhengting and Eungi most of the time, he had found himself wondering if he could have something similar. He was loath to admit it, but Minghao needed to take a leaf out of their book if he wanted to get at Euiwoong.

“When people are in love they act shamelessly?” Minghao clarified.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Eungi said while Zhengting nodded. “Hyung, why are you agreeing with him?”

“I am shameless,” Zhengting said solemnly. “I always want Eungi to be nice to me. I want everyone to know that Eungi likes me the best.”

“Don’t I tell you enough that I like you the best?” Eungi asked. Zhengting shook his head with a wide grin and Eungi’s smile turned indulgent. “I like you the best, Hyung. Nobody else in the world comes close.”

Minghao was mildly disgusted but he was aware that he should have been taking notes. He needed to come up with a proper plan together with Seunghyuk. As well as asking for the favour, they should have set some ground rules, but Minghao was doing his research now to make Seonho’s stupid idea a bit less stupid.

“You’re always saying ridiculous things to each other,” Minghao said, hoping that he would remember everything he learnt here. “Do you kiss outside as much as you do at home? Or is it just excessive skinship?”

“We kiss all the time,” Zhengting confirmed at the same time Eungi asked, “Why are you asking so many questions?”

Minghao shrugged. Eungi squinted at him.

“Does this have something to do with your bad day?” Eungi asked. “Have people seen you with us and said mean things to you?”

Unfortunately for Minghao, plenty of people from school had seen him with Eungi and Zhengting. Most people who commented had something sympathetic to say about how awful it must be to live a life of neglect and have to fend for himself while they were busy hugging and making eyes at one another. Nobody had said anything particularly mean. If Minghao had to recall the meanest thing he had heard it would be that it was cruel of Zhengting and Eungi to buy couple items and make them into a set with Minghao. It wasn’t mean so much as true. Minghao had ‘lost’ several pairs of shoes and phone cases once noticing they were matched with things that Eungi and Zhengting owned.

It was a part of life that Minghao had grown used to. He didn’t mind it these days. But Eungi was frowning and biting at his lip. He was something of an unexpected fixture in Minghao’s life but he was a person that Minghao had learnt to love. To an extent. He didn’t want Eungi looking so worried.  

“It is about my bad day, but it isn’t anything bad,” Minghao said. Eungi didn’t look convinced. “I’m not lying, Hyung.”

“What is happening?” Zhengting muttered, as though that would make his confusion any less obvious. Eungi gave him a tight smile and stroked his hair gently.

“What is it about then?” Eungi asked.

Minghao hesitated, but he supposed he wasn’t going to lose much by admitting his predicament. It would make Eungi worry less. Probably.

“I like somebody at school,” Minghao said quietly. Eungi was still frowning a bit and Minghao supposed he wasn’t going to get away with that much. “I like someone who probably doesn’t like me yet.”

“Who wouldn’t like you?” Zhengting asked.

“I still don’t understand,” Eungi said.

“See, Eungi doesn’t know either! Anyone would be lucky to have you!”

It was nice to hear, Minghao supposed, but it seemed hollow coming from Zhengting. It was the same way his mum used to smile indulgently and tell him that he was the handsomest man in the whole world. It made him happy but it didn’t make it particularly true. If anybody would be lucky to have him, surely Euiwoong would have been tripping over himself to confess to him.

Minghao wasn’t ugly. At all. In fact, he was blessed with a face that most people loved and all his life he had people being nice to him because of the way he looked. It was just that it wasn’t quite enough for Euiwoong. He supposed he needed something else to grab Euiwoong’s attention. Jealousy would have to do to make Euiwoong wish that he was lucky enough.

“The person I like doesn’t like me,” Minghao said slowly. It was difficult to explain when he couldn’t think of all the words that he needed. “To make that person jealous I am pretending to have a boyfriend.”

Eungi pursed his lips at the mention of making someone jealous. Minghao already knew it wasn’t the best of ideas but it was better than nothing!

“Won’t you get found out?” Eungi asked.

“That is why I need help.”

Zhengting was frowning still. “But you said you had a bad day. Having a boyfriend is good. It is good, isn’t it, Eungi?”

“It is good,” Eungi agreed. “Having a real boyfriend is good.”

“I am doing this to get a real boyfriend,” Minghao pointed out. “Don’t you want me to be happy like you, Hyung?”

Eungi sighed. “I want you to be happy. So what made today a bad day?”

“That person didn’t care that I had a boyfriend.”

“So the plan to make someone jealous failed,” Eungi surmised. It was the truth but it didn’t mean that Minghao wanted to hear it like that.

Minghao could only nod, he could only agree with something that he wished he didn’t have to. Zhengting, who had been content enough to play with Eungi’s hands until now, decided to add insult to injury.

“What does this person think of you?” Zhengting asked. “Does it seem like they like you? Even a little bit?”

“Uh, no,” Minghao admitted. He was expecting some lecture on how he should be considering the other person’s feelings and not trying to force the way he felt onto somebody else - only with less eloquent vocabulary, but instead Zhengting sat up with a smile on his face. He was clutching at Eungi’s hands happily as he looked between Eungi and Minghao.

“I can help, Justin!” Zhengting said, his face splitting with his smile. “The situation is similar to when I first liked Eungi!”

“What are you saying? How is this even slightly similar?” Eungi asked.

“I liked you first. I had to work hard to make you like me,” Zhengting explained. It sounded reasonable enough aside from Eungi’s reddening complexion.

“How is that even remotely true?” Eungi demanded, flabbergasted. He looked at Minghao as though expecting support, but Minghao didn’t have a clue. For all he knew Eungi and Zhengting had been together since they were teeny tiny babies, probably just as disgustingly adorable together.

“But I remember,” Zhengting insisted. “Eungi wouldn’t even talk directly to me. He often ignored me and he especially hated touching me. I was sad about that a lot, but I still tried to be in the same place as him. If he wouldn’t even talk to me I would let him see me being a bit sexy.”

“You’re remembering it wrong,” Eungi mumbled.

“I’m not though?”

Minghao rolled his eyes. They could get through the whole night without reaching a solution and Minghao didn’t really care that much. Eungi and Zhengting had already forgotten about him once and that was already too many times for one day.

“Is that the answer? Acting sexy?” Minghao asked quickly.

Zhengting nodded happily. “That’s right!”

It didn’t matter that Eungi was muttering about how wrong it was because Minghao was going to learn how to be sexy and get himself a real boyfriend!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you might be wondering when seunghyuk will have a substantial appearance - i am too! why did i plan this with him hardly appearing at the start??? why am i just as bad as yuehua??? he is in the next chapter though i swear!
> 
> oh yeah, i also made a bit of a pig's ear of the ages but let's pretend they sort of make sense in the context of this.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin _is_ sexy! Just ask his friends...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not particularly satisfied with this chapter, but I am sure it can't get any worse than this!

After a morning Minghao would rather forget, he was keen to share the knowledge he had gained with Seunghyuk. Zhengting had given Minghao his best piece of advice yet. Letting Euiwoong see Minghao being sexy was the perfect solution. Plus, Minghao would become even more desirable if he was unattainable as well as sexy.

Seunghyuk didn't seem particularly impressed with the results of Minghao’s research. He frowned a bit and didn't say very much as he offered Minghao his hand. It was fun, pretending to be part of a pair, walking hand in hand and making up ideas to get Euiwoong to notice him. Seunghyuk wasn't very forthcoming with ideas, but he nodded in all the right places.

“I don't know if being sexy will give the right message,” Seunghyuk said. “Why don't you just be yourself?”

“I have been myself for this long without Euiwoong-hyung falling in love with me,” Minghao pointed out. He swayed into Seunghyuk's side a bit as he added, “And anyway, I am plenty sexy, aren't I?”

Seunghyuk gave Minghao a sidelong glance and wasn't too keen on answering quickly. Minghao fluttered his eyelashes and Seunghyuk looked away.

“Oh, it's Hyungseob,” Seunghyuk noted drily as he pointed at Hyungseob who was loitering outside his house. The change of subject wasn't appreciated.

“Don't you think I'm sexy?” Minghao asked.

“You two are disgusting,” Hyungseob sniffed. “Flirting at this time of the morning.”

“When else would we flirt?” Minghao asked. Hyungseob shrugged, didn’t bother with a reply as he fell into step beside them. That was fine, Minghao didn’t really care about Hyungseob being petty and jealous. If this fake relationship plan worked out, Minghao would happily lend Seunghyuk to Hyungseob so that he too could try to find happiness. Until then, Minghao had more pressing concerns. “Hyung, why won’t you answer me? I am sexy.”

Minghao winked a few times and but his lip but Seunghyuk only chuckled softly,

“You’re cute, Justin.”

 

Minghao was glad when it was finally lunch time and he could complain about the second-worst part of the morning to his friends. They were very sympathetic towards him. He was glad to have such supportive friends.

“You’re like the second sexiest guy I know after me,” Samuel said very seriously.

“Where am I on this list?” Seonho asked spraying sandwich crumbs over the table.

“Third.”

“You had better sleep with one eye open,” Seonho said, barely managing not to choke on his lunch.

“Anyway,” Minghao said, because it was important not to let everyone get distracted from the real issue. “Not even Seunghyuk-hyung said that I am sexy. I was too sad to try to be sexy for Euiwoong-hyung.”

“I already offered to be your boyfriend, so this is your own fault,” Seonho said. “I would tell you how sexy you are every second of every day.”

“Are you talking to Justin or can you just see your own reflection in someone’s phone screen again?” Samuel asked.

“Shush, you, I’m trying to be a good friend.”

“You are a great friend who is almost as sexy as me,” Minghao said.

“It seems I have lost two friends today,” Seonho sighed.

“Ah, Justin!” Samuel exclaimed, smacking Minghao’s arm too hard to be polite.

“What is it?” Minghao asked. Samuel’s words were awkwardly fractured, but Minghao understood well enough when he looked to the doorway of the classroom. Seunghyuk was peering into the room sheepishly. It took another thump on the arm from Samuel before Minghao jumped to his feet and rushed over to the door. Seunghyuk’s smile looked awkward but Minghao didn’t pay that any mind.

“Why are you here?”

“Hyungseob asked me why I wasn’t eating lunch with my boyfriend,” Seunghyuk said quietly, Chinese slipping from between his lips with thoughtful pauses.

Minghao glanced down at Seunghyuk’s empty hands. “You don’t have lunch with you now.”

“I already ate,” Seunghyuk said. “Hyungseob kept pestering me so I thought it was better to see you. I worried that people would discover the plan too easily if I didn’t come.”

That was thoughtful. Minghao didn't know why he was so surprised about it. Of course Seunghyuk would be so considerate. He was one of the kindest people Minghao knew. There was no better choice for his fake boyfriend than Choi Seunghyuk.

“Is it alright that I am here?” Seunghyuk asked. There was no need for him to sound so uncertain. Minghao was ecstatic that the plan was already going so smoothly - denials of sexiness notwithstanding.

“It is fantastic that you are here,” Minghao said happily. “Does Euiwoong-hyung know that you came to see me?”

“I am not sure about that.”

Minghao shrugged. “We can tell him later,” he suggested. It was fine as long as the two of them were convincing. Seunghyuk nodded along and kept glancing behind Minghao. A quick glance over his shoulder revealed Seonho and Samuel looking over with interest.

It was better to ignore them, but it would be strange for them to stand outside the classroom for too long.

“Do you want to come in?” Minghao asked.

“Can I?” Seunghyuk asked. It wouldn't do for the plan to unravel this easily. Seonho and Samuel were nothing to be afraid of.

Minghao led Seunghyuk into the classroom and managed to procure an extra seat so that Seunghyuk could join them. He must have felt strange, sitting amongst first-years like this. He was too good of a friend.

“Boyfriend-seonbaenim,” Seongho greeted, spraying yet more crumbs on the desk. Seunghyuk looked apprehensive as he nodded back and delicately swiped some of the crumbs away.

“What are your intentions with our sexy friend?” Samuel asked very seriously.

Seunghyuk very carefully looked at Minghao and mouthed, “What is happening?”

“Hyung, we need to make Euiwoong-hyung think that I am sexy,” Minghao said. Apparently that was too difficult to understand because Seunghyuk’s expression only became more baffled.

“Are we going to spread a rumour? That you are sexy?”

“Out of the three of us here,” Seonho interrupted, his mouth finally free of food, “Who is the sexiest?”

“I don’t actually have to answer this, do I?” Seunghyuk asked.

“It would be better for you to answer us, Seonbae,” Samuel said.

“It’s for research,” Seonho added.

Minghao wasn’t sure how this related to the research he had done earlier, but he stayed quiet even as Seunghyuk sent him pleas with his eyes. Getting the opinions of an older man would only be a good idea. Seunghyuk wasn’t Euiwoong but they were friends, they might have even had similar tastes.  

“Alright,” Samuel said, seeming to think that Seunghyuk had gone too long without answering. “In the whole school, who do you think is the sexiest?”

“I don’t really want to answer this question either,” Seunghyuk said slowly as he looked between Seonho and Samuel. Minghao leaned into Seunghyuk’s field of vision but Seunghyuk thought he was slick and averted his gaze. He really didn’t think Minghao was sexy! At all! It was quite insulting, but Minghao would just have to hope that Seunghyuk was a better actor than friend. Seunghyuk coughed lightly and added, “What do you even mean by sexy?”

“What do you think it means?” Seonho said cheekily at the same time Samuel said, “Lee Daehwi.”

Minghao frowned enough for Samuel to look embarrassed as he said, “We should make guesses.”

“In that case it must be Lai Guanlin,” Seonho said. “Seonbae, Hyung, can I call you ‘Hyung’? You don’t even have to say yes. Just wink when we say the right answer.”

“Jeon Somi.”

“Kim Doyeon.”

“Kang Mina.”

“Park Siyeon.”

“Kyla Massie!”

Kyla turned to glare at them at the exuberant call of her name. Seonho apologised quietly and she turned back to her friends with an irritated huff. Seonho and Samuel were quiet for a moment and through Seunghyuk's relief, Minghao wondered whether they had been on the wrong track all along.

“Ahn Hyungseob,” Minghao said.

Seunghyuk stiffened and turned to look at Minghao. Rather than getting attached to people he hardly knew and making up daydream relationships, Seunghyuk seemed more realistic than that. Minghao couldn't think of anything more realistic than ‘what if’s formed about close friends who could be more. Hyungseob liked skinship and, though he muttered protests to the contrary, Seunghyuk always obliged Hyungseob’s more tactile needs.

“Ooooh, Justin!” Samuel said, applauding. “I would never have guessed.”

“What is so sexy about Hyungseob-seonbae compared to Justin?” Seonho asked, resting his chin in his hands. He fluttered his fingers prettily. Minghao supposed that Seonho could be a bit sexy too. But this wasn't about Seonho, it was about Minghao who was extremely interested in Seunghyuk's reply.

Only, Seunghyuk didn't answer the question. “I didn't say it was Hyungseob.”

“You didn't not say it either,” Samuel retorted.

“He literally just denied it,” Seonho said.

Within seconds, Samuel and Seonho had dissolved into another of their fake conversations with heavily accented gibberish. The other two were occupied enough with that while Seunghyuk continued to look at Minghao. Eventually he pressed his lips together firmly and looked away. Minghao wondered whether anything had been expected of him, but there was no point dwelling on that.

“It’s not Hyungseob,” Seunghyuk said quietly.

“What isn’t?” Minghao asked. He knew what Seunghyuk meant, but Minghao was still offended about the fact that Seunghyuk didn’t think that he was sexy. He had the right to be difficult.

“I don’t think Hyungseob is the sexiest person in the school,” Seunghyuk mumbled reluctantly.

“I don’t care about that anyway,” Minghao lied. He cared a lot. It wasn’t about Seunghyuk’s opinion specifically, but anyone who couldn’t see Minghao’s naturally alluring charms was a person to be wary of.

Minghao had hoped for some usable tips from Zhengting, but the demonstration consisted of Zhengting lifting his shirt and trying to get Eungi to feel his abs. Minghao could have come up with something that stupid by himself, only Minghao wasn’t that stupid. Or maybe he was a bit stupid and that was why he didn’t understand how Zhengting making a nuisance of himself had Eungi grinning and pressing kisses against his jaw, let alone how that sort of thing helped them get together in the first place.

Minghao already had quite the repertoire. He winked at Seunghyuk and pressed his teeth into the swell of his lips. Seunghyuk shifted his gaze.

“Do you think Euiwoong thinks I am sexy?”

“Maybe.”

Seunghyuk sounded like he could be swayed. Minghao licked his lips slowly and tilted his head so that the sharp angles of his jaw were more prominent. He thought about the sexiest things he could (like dark eyebrows, and shallow dimples, and a well-organised notebook being held in strong arms) and put the energy into smouldering through his eyes at Seunghyuk. “How about now? This is sexy, right?”

“Maybe there is someone else who would know what Euiwoong liked,” Seunghyuk suggested, his voice high and his face pink.

“Oh, you’re right,” Seonho said, slipping seamlessly into Korean - though his made-up babbling wasn’t a real language that required any brain-power to maintain. “There is someone. Seonbae’s ex.”

“Kyla!” Samuel called as he waved over his shoulder.

“What?” Kyla asked grouchily. She had twisted in her seat to scowl at the sound of her name and was glaring extra hard at Minghao for some reason.

“Did Kyla used to go out with Euiwoong-hyung?” Minghao asked quietly. Not quietly enough, apparently.

“I did no such thing!” Kyla growled. She was indignant enough about the accusation that she dragged her chair over to the desk and squeezed into the space she made between Seunghyuk and Samuel. “I could hear your whole conversation and I think you should all know you sound stupid.”

“Stupid?” Seonho gasped dramatically.

“Wait,” Minghao said, because he was already getting lost in this conversation, “Why are you here, Kyla? Aside from to tell us that we are stupid.”

“I already said I could hear your entire conversation. You mentioned Siyeon-unnie knowing what Euiwoong-seonbae finds sexy. It is obvious that you were about to ask me about it.”

“Let me guess,” Samuel said, “You’re here to reject us.”

“No,” Kyla said, shaking her head. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

“You’re going to help me?” Minghao clarified.

Kyla shrugged and said, “If that’s what you want to think.”

“Thank you.”

“Alright then,” Samuel said, “What is so sexy about Park Siyeon?”

“I won’t mention Unnie’s amazing proportions,” Kyla said, as she mentioned Siyeon’s proportions. She tossed her hair over her shoulder and gazed around the table, business-like. “She has a very expressive face, and is incredibly composed. She thinks rationally, but she doesn’t lack empathy. She can be as bright as she can be sultry. She has a certain air of mystery around her which can be seen in each step she takes or each small change in her expression. Obviously, she works hard all the time and her perfect looks and brilliant grades make her seem unattainable. It is enough to make people want her simply because they know she deserves more than what they can give.”

Kyla looked happy. Dreamlike.

“How is any of that sexy?” Seonho asked, waving away Kyla’s words.

“Weren’t you listening? Did you get even stupider?” Kyla snapped. She turned Minghao and looked at him as though he was a person to be pitied. “As for what Hyungseob-seonbae has that you don’t, it is class. Unnie has class too. The three of you are tacky and greasy. You need to try to appeal to more sophisticated tastes.”

“Greasy? Tacky?” Seonho scoffed.

“Like you can do any better,” Samuel said.

Kyla rose to the challenge in Samuel’s voice. In an instant, the line of her shoulders was more relaxed but there was a slight tension in her face as she parted her lips and made her gaze half-lidded. Minghao could do better than that! He leaned closer to the table to hold Kyla’s gaze as he alternated between smirking at her and biting his lips.

“I can do better than that,” Samuel said. Minghao was trying not to pay that too much mind when he had a challenge to rise to, but his eyes were filling with tears the longer he kept them open and when he shifted his gaze slightly, Samuel winked at him.

“Me too, me too,” Seonho said, fluttering his eyelashes rapidly.

Minghao’s eyes stung too much and he had to close them, tears rolling down his cheeks with the relief of not keeping them open. He swiped the tears from his face and looked at Seunghyuk’s carefully neutral expression.

“Hyung, I was the best, right? I was the sexiest, wasn’t I?” Minghao asked.

“What? Was I supposed to be judging this?” Seunghyuk asked. “Does it matter?”

“Hyung,” Minghao whined (he wasn’t too proud to admit that the sound he made was a whine despite being too proud to let Sexy-gate go). Seunghyuk stroked gently at Minghao’s hair and Minghao wondered whether there were lots of strands that laid out of place.

“Justin, you have many charms without trying so hard.”

Kyla snickered and Seunghyuk quickly snatched back his hand.

“Sorry,” Kyla said quickly, “It’s just that you are very good at pretending. Justin, I think you should give up on Euiwoong-seonbae and stick with the boyfriend you have now.”

“I have to keep trying.”

“Justin likes Euiwoong, so I have to help him with that,” Seunghyuk said softly. Kyla frowned at that.

“I can’t help but notice that you still haven’t said that Justin is sexy,” Samuel said unhelpfully. Minghao had been aware of that too but he was trying to ignore that in favour of cherishing the friendship being shown to him.

“I think we all know the reason for that,” Kyla said flatly.

“You’re really mean, aren’t you,” Seonho said. Kyla nodded.

“I think the three of you could use a reality check,” Kyla said.

“A reality check?” Seunghyuk asked.

“Ah, Seonbae,” Kyla said brightly, “I only meant that my three classmates should be more aware of the areas in which they are lacking. For example, as I mentioned before, none of them are sexy. Even if they were, they have nothing on Park Siyeon-unnie.”

“I don’t think Justin is completely unsexy,” Seunghyuk said diffidently.

“Hyung!” Minghao cried as he threw his arms around Seunghyuk’s shoulders. It was good enough for now that he had been upgraded from ‘cute’ to not ‘completely unsexy’. It was progress and if it only took Minghao a few minutes to alter Seunghyuk’s opinion, it would hardly take a million years to do the same to Euiwoong.

Seunghyuk patted Minghao on the arm lightly. “Is it that big of a deal?”

“It is, Hyung, I only need to be persistent,” Minghao said, nodding as he settled more firmly against Seunghyuk’s side.

 

They didn’t have the chance to speak too much more after that, but Kyla suggested Seunghyuk asked for more opinions on Park Siyeon’s sexy credentials. Seunghyuk agreed to ask Yewon and Sungyeon who were in his class, and also happened to be friends with Kyla and Siyeon. It sounded like cheating getting the opinions of people who were biased, but the girls knew Siyeon well and Siyeon was apparently Euiwoong’s ex.

Minghao wanted to put his findings to the test as soon as possible, but Seunghyuk leaned in close to whisper that he had some information from Sungyeon and Yewon. It seemed that it was better not to act immediately and Minghao had to make do with holding Seunghyuk’s hand and trying to develop X-ray vision to read the thoughts he was keeping to himself.

“You two must really like each other,” Euiwoong said.

“Does it seem that way?” Minghao asked. Euiwoong smiled.

“Yes. It’s very cute.”

“I like Justin a lot,” Seunghyuk said, his voice soft.

“Shouldn’t it be, ‘we like each other a lot’?” Hyungseob asked as he squinted at their linked hands. He looked down at his own hands and clasped them together. “Ah, it’s not the same. I want someone to hold my hands too. Can I join in with you two?”

“No way,” Minghao said quickly. He tightened his grip on Seunghyuk’s hand and wrapped his free arm around Seunghyuk’s waist. Seunghyuk wasn’t slow in the uptake and he placed his other hand firmly against Minghao’s back. His thumb swiped in slow motions and it felt nice to be spoilt like this, even if it was just pretend.

“Justin doesn’t have any spare hands,” Seunghyuk said through a gentle smile. Choi Seunghyuk was very handsome, especially when he smiled. It would be very easy to make Euiwoong jealous once Seunghyuk’s handsomeness was combined with Minghao’s overflowing sexiness.

“Who said I was talking about Justin’s hands?” Hyungseob huffed as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. Seunghyuk only grinned and squeezed a bit tighter on Minghao.

Minghao hadn’t forgotten what happened earlier. Seunghyuk had denied finding anything about Hyungseob (bratty, whiny, always over-the-top, and absolutely not classy Hyungseob) sexy, but that didn’t exclude the possibility that Seunghyuk liked him. It made sense that Seunghyuk had been reluctant to help Minghao by being his fake boyfriend. If they were too convincing, Hyungseob could have mistaken the whole thing for being the truth. Minghao didn’t have to worry about that because he planned to confess to Euiwoong as soon as possible, but Seunghyuk seemed to have more reservations about that sort of thing.

Minghao hoped that it didn’t affect things too much, that after all this was through everyone could understand the circumstances and it wouldn’t bear too many consequences for Seunghyuk.

“I’ll only hold your hands, Justin,” Seunghyuk said. Not only was Seunghyuk handsome but he was really cool. Minghao would never have been able to discover these new and interesting sides of Seunghyuk without asking for this favour. Even if it was Hyungseob, who was ungrateful and didn’t deserve such indulgence, Minghao wanted somebody to appreciate these sides of Seunghyuk.

“Only mine?”

“That’s right. Only yours,” Seunghyuk confirmed. His face was getting red, but his determination to do be convincing was amazing! And it paid off. Euiwoong clapped a hand over his mouth, chuckling quietly before he gave Seunghyuk and Minghao two thumbs up.

“You two are really adorable. To think that you were like this all along and I never knew,” Euiwoong said, a note of awe riding high in his voice. “Unless all of your flirting was done in Chinese? I bet you two send each other love letters and make up excuses to be sent next door to see each other.”

Minghao had intended to get Euiwoong’s attention, but he realised that this was the wrong kind of attention. He glanced at Seunghyuk a few times, wondering why he had been deterred from trying to showcase his sexy appeal, but Seunghyuk only smiled back at him and squeezed his hand.

They continued to hold hands even after Hyungseob and Euiwoong had left them. Minghao didn’t mind it. It was comfortable and there was still a chance that somebody from school could see them. A small chance, but a chance that Minghao wasn’t ready to risk.

“You said you had some information from your classmates,” Minghao said. Seunghyuk hummed and nodded.

“Maybe not information. Just speculation,” Seunghyuk said. Minghao must have looked noticeably baffled because Seunghyuk took the time to try to remember an equivalent in Chinese. It was for the best that he didn’t switch back to Korean. “Park Siyeon’s friends said nice things about her, but not as much as Kyla had said.”

“I wouldn’t have been able to say that many things about the person I like,” Minghao said. Seunghyuk laughed and swung Minghao’s hand a bit.

“I think it would be easier than you think. But anyway, Yewon said something that I hadn’t even considered. The only person we know that Euiwoong has gone out with is Park Siyeon.” Seunghyuk’s grip slipped and he hesitated for a moment. Minghao tightened the grip once more and Seunghyuk set his face before speaking again. “Yewon asked me if I was sure that Euiwoong even liked men.”

Minghao hadn’t considered the point before either. He had just assumed that his feelings had a chance of reaching Euiwoong. He hadn’t thought that it may not be the case.

“I’m sorry, Minghao,” Seunghyuk said.

“You don’t need to be sorry,” Minghao said quickly. “You’re helping me. You don’t have a reason to apologise.”

“But it feels like I am taking advantage of you like this.”

“Hm? How?” Minghao asked. Seunghyuk didn’t say anything for a moment. Minghao could relate. He wasn’t very good at articulating himself in Korean, but he knew that he was forgetting bits and pieces of Chinese. It was still a more comfortable language to speak but remembering what words meant and how to express meaning took him longer than it used to. Seunghyuk must have been forgetting words too.

Rather than pressuring Seunghyuk to work out what he meant to say, Minghao realised that they were home already.

All day he had managed to forget the morning he had before leaving the house, but when the front gate was in sight, several metres down from the front gate to Seunghyuk’s house, he couldn’t help but remember how innocuously Zhengting had pronounced one of Minghao’s nightmares.

Seunghyuk noticed how Minghao slowed and frowned. He loosened his grip but even when Minghao’s hand was free of the clamminess of Seunghyuk’s palm he grabbed onto the arm that was still within reach. “Minghao? Is everything alright?”

“Yes, of course,” Minghao said. Seunghyuk scrutinised him more closely and Minghao shook his head. “No. Can I ask another favour?”

“Yeah.”

“Can you check who is at my house?” Minghao asked. “And if both of them are there, can I sleep at your house tonight?”

“A sleepover?” Seunghyuk asked, apprehension clouding his face. “Why?”

Minghao felt his shoulders sag. He didn’t like to dwell too much on the morning. He had woken from a restful slumber and got ready to make breakfast, only to see that Eungi and Zhengting were doing a bad job of cooking already. Minghao hadn’t cared that much. It was fine until the two men had greeted him cheerily.

“Did you sleep well, Justin?” Zhengting asked clumsily as he pressed kisses to Eungi’s cheeks. “We didn’t wake you too much, did we?”

“What do you mean?” Minghao had asked. He had noticed the heat in Eungi’s cheeks and the grin on Zhengting’s face.

“Are you going to make me say it?” Zhengting had asked.

“Isn’t it just that you don’t know how to say it?” Eungi had laughed.

It was all well and good that Eungi and Zhengting were laughing together, but Minghao had his suspicions about what was making them laugh. It wasn’t anything that Minghao wanted to think about. The house was big and Minghao’s room was quite a distance from Zhengting’s, but they were laughing about something that would have woken him up.

“Why would I have woken up?” Minghao had asked.

“It doesn’t matter. If you didn’t wake up then it doesn’t matter,” Eungi had said quickly

That was hardly settling. Minghao could have made several guesses about what could have woken him up and he didn’t like any of the potential answers. He had only managed to start forgetting when Seunghyuk had asked to hold his hand before they set off to school together that morning. Minghao tried it again now, grabbing Seunghyuk’s hand.

It was nice to hold Seunghyuk’s hand, but he wasn’t forgetting what happened.

“I fell out with Zheng-ge,” Minghao said.

“I’ll check for you,” Seunghyuk said.

Minghao waited a bit further down the street while Seunghyuk rang the bell and had a short conversation with Zhengting through the intercom.

“It is safe, Justin. Eungi-hyung isn’t here,” Seunghyuk said as he waved Minghao over.

“Are you sure?”

Seunghyuk didn’t have to answer (he didn’t have to squeeze Minghao’s shoulder either but he did both) because in an instant Zhengting had thrown open the gate and had collapsed onto the two of them with a groan.

“Is everything alright?” Seunghyuk asked, only staggering slightly under the weight of dramatics.

“I already told you, there is no point in continuing this banal existence of mine,” Zhengting said. He was still resisting efforts to get him to stand upright. He really was troublesome.

“Whatever is the matter?” Minghao asked without particularly caring.

“The sun has stopped shining, and food no longer has a taste, and music no longer moves me, and my limbs are beyond my control,” Zhengting wailed dramatically.

“And why is that?” Minghao asked. He rolled his eyes and Seunghyuk looked even more concerned than before. Minghao didn’t know why, Seunghyuk had been Zhengting’s next-door neighbour for a while now. There must have been many times when Zhengting was ridiculous like this.

“What other reason could there be? The love of my life has left me all alone.”

“Is that so?” Minghao asked. “Did he say what time he would be back?”

“Tomorrow afternoon,” Zhengting sobbed, though there wasn’t a tear in sight.

“Good,” Minghao said. He smiled at Seunghyuk and said, “I won’t need to sleep at your house tonight. Thank you for considering it.”

Seunghyuk nodded, a soft smile on his face despite the fact he was struggling to free himself from the arm Zhengting had clamped around his neck. He eventually got free, and continued to ask whether Minghao would manage even as he said his farewells.

When Minghao finally managed to get Zhengting under control, the only thing that kept him up that night was Zhengting repeatedly knocking at his bedroom door with pleas for company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How many times was the word 'sexy' used in this chapter? Answers on a postcard.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An inexplicable amount of people become involved in Justin's drama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been eating a lot of cake, ice cream, and puddings lately and, honestly, this chapter is just me trying to justify that as research before the sweet embrace of Type 2 comes for me. 
> 
> This chapter took me forever to write. Or, I wrote 300 words and got stuck and opened and closed the document multiple times a day without adding any more words. But It is finally done, so there's that.

Whether or not gender was an issue was difficult to ascertain. Whenever Minghao attempted to lead Euiwoong to comment on a person's appearance, it would somehow result in Euiwoong reminding Minghao that he had a boyfriend. Minghao already knew that much! He wasn't an adulterer or a cheat, or any number of other horrid words. He was just trying to ask for an opinion.

After the fifth reminder that afternoon, Euiwoong had even gone as far as to tell Seunghyuk to do something. Seunghyuk didn't do much, he only hugged Minghao tighter against his side and smiled as though nothing was wrong.

“Hyung, aren't you going to help me?” Minghao asked when Euiwoong left the table to take a phone call.

“Help what?” Hyungseob rudely interrupted.

“Not you, Hyungseob-hyung.”

“You don't want my help?” Hyungseob asked. “I suppose my friendship means nothing to you now that you are lovey-dovey with Seunghyuk.”

Hyungseob very quickly slurped up the remainder of his iced americano and when he dropped the empty cup on the table it fell over. Hyungseob’s frown deepened. Minghao had never seen Hyungseob frown so much as he did these days. But that was another problem. For now Hyungseob being grumpy wasn't as serious a concern as Euiwoong being cagey about everything.

“We are still friends,” Minghao said. Maybe that wasn't good enough because Hyungseob didn't turn his face away quickly enough to hide the sneer that ingrained itself to his expression.

Even Seunghyuk looked surprised by that reaction. He squeezed Minghao’s hand underneath the table and gave him a reassuring smile. To Hyungseob, he asked, “Do you feel that we are neglecting you?”

“Do you think I am that delicate to feel left out because you two can't keep your hands off one another?”

It was Minghao’s turn to frown. He and Seunghyuk were hardly all over each other for every second of the day. They only held hands and hugged a bit. The contact wasn't even a constant thing and it was only enough to get Euiwoong to notice. At the moment it was still hard to determine whether or not he was noticing enough of the contact, but Minghao and Seunghyuk hardly touched when Euiwoong was absent. They were currently holding hands but Euiwoong could return from his phone call at any moment. It was a necessary precaution.

Minghao supposed that the times when the pair of them were near Euiwoong were mostly the times they were with Hyungseob too. These days it was rare to see Hyungseob linking arms with Seunghyuk and embracing him tightly and pressing fleeting kisses to his cheeks. It might have been different when the group had dispersed so that Seunghyuk and Hyungseob were alone. Minghao hadn't asked. It seemed like a strange question. It was too invasive. Minghao also didn't want to hear too much about how his selfish desperation for Euiwoong had fractured the possibilities between his other friends.

Euiwoong returned, his kind smile dimpling at his cheeks as he apologised for having to step out. His expression faltered when he glanced at Hyungseob in the seat beside him.

“What?” Hyungseob snapped.

“Nothing, Hyung,” Euiwoong said.

“It's not nothing. You're definitely thinking something,” Hyungseob grumbled. Euiwoong said nothing further and raised his eyebrows at the mug on the table before him. Hyungseob narrowed his eyes and jabbed euiwoong in the ribs. “Stop thinking!”

“How can you tell me to stop thinking? Hyung, I am only ever nice to you but you are attacking me so carelessly.”

“It's not careless, I always put a lot of care into attacking people,” Hyungseob retorted.

“You put enough care in to make sure it hurts,” Seunghyuk chuckled.

Minghao winced at the glare that sliced across the table. Seunghyuk continued to smile, somehow unaffected while Minghao tried to recover.

“This conversation is private. No icky couples allowed.”

“What about me and Justin is icky?” Seunghyuk asked. Hyungseob’s eye twitched and Minghao wished that he had considered things like this before. He wished that he at least knew that Seunghyuk and Hyungseob had a complicated relationship before the fake boyfriend thing came about. Things were a bit stranger than Minghao would have liked, but it would be resolved soon.

Things would have been easier if Minghao didn’t have to think about straightening things out when all of this was over. But it wasn’t fair of him to begrudge his friends their feelings. Even when Hyungseob grumbled, “Everything is icky about you. You’re worse than Justin’s parents.”

“My parents?” Minghao asked. No sooner than the words left his mouth, did Minghao realise what Hyungseob meant. He didn’t know whether to be offended or flattered. He must have been doing a good job with Seunghyuk if they could be considered on the same level as Zhengting and Eungi. “Shall I tell the hyungs that they are icky?”

“Please do!” Hyungseob said hotly. He got up quickly and slung his backpack over his shoulder. “I am going home.”

“Should we all go?” Euiwoong asked.

“No! Stay. I have to meet somebody else anyway.”

Hyungseob dashed off quickly, leaving Euiwoong’s crestfallen expression in his wake.

Minghao knew exactly what it was like to be alone with a couple, especially if the couple was an icky one. Minghao didn’t think that he and Seunghyuk could be considered an icky couple, not even if they held hands and cuddled in public for real one day, but he didn’t want Euiwoong to look so disappointed about being left alone with them.

Minghao pulled his hand but Seunghyuk redoubled his grip.

Minghao didn’t want to be too obvious about shaking off Seunghyuk, just in case Euiwoong thought it was his fault, but it proved difficult to be subtle when Seunghyuk’s hand was wrapped so tightly around his.

“What’s the matter?” Seunghyuk asked, a quiet smile and familiar words.

“Nothing,” Minghao replied. He doubted Euiwoong could understand the words if he explained any further, but the subject would be simple enough to parse if they spoke too loudly. “Isn’t it mean to be like this in front of our friend?”

“Minghao, isn’t that the point? We are supposed to be making him jealous,” Seunghyuk said.

“I know, but-”

“Alright, I get it,” Seunghyuk said quickly. He withdrew his hand and folded his arms across his chest. “Is this better?”

“Don’t be like that, please.”

“Like what? I’m not being like anything,” Seunghyuk said, shrugging as he spoke and tilting away from Minghao. “I’m not being mean anymore, am I?”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Minghao said.

“Wow,” Euiwoong said lowly. “You two are really cute, you know. But I really won't mind you holding hands if you stop whispering sweet nothings like that.”

“It isn't like that, Hyung,” Minghao said. He tried not to glance too much at the tight smile on Seunghyuk's face. It was better to concentrate on the almost sly tilt to Euiwoong’s lips.

“I'm already blushing,” Euiwoong said as he pressed his hands to his cheeks, exaggeratedly bashful. “Imagine if I could understand the shameless things you say to each other!”

“We don't say shameless things!” Minghao protested.

“I always say shameless things,” Seunghyuk declared solemnly.

 

“The thing is, we really can't be sure that Lee Euiwoong even likes men,” Sungyeon said. There was a note of finality in her voice and no matter what Seunghyuk had said about how sweet she was, Minghao couldn't help but think that he didn't like her. Yewon, on the other hand, hadn't stopped beaming cheer on her surroundings since arriving at the dessert shop and everything she said was worded much more positively.

“I had no proof that you liked women, Sungyeon, but we are together now,” Yewon said in a voice that sounded like birdsong.

There was hope. Minghao didn’t need to worry about things like whether or not Euiwoong liked men because things like this worked themselves out eventually. He and Euiwoong could be just like Sungyeon and Yewon as they coexisted within the circles of each other’s arms.

Yewon looked extra cute as she tipped her head onto Sungyeon’s shoulder, and Minghao wondered how long it took them to get to that point.

“I told you I like you all the time,” Sungyeon frowned. “How did you not have any proof that I liked girls?”

Yewon looked thoughtful for a moment, her brow furrowing as her eyes strained up at her forehead. She looked odd, her ear firmly attached to Sungyeon’s shoulder while she thought this out, but Minghao wondered whether he should be asking her for tips as she puffed air into her cheeks. Minghao couldn’t wait to see what she did next. It was fun to watch her.

Seonho seemed to have other ideas. He sighed loudly as he craned his neck to look for the waitress who had promised to bring over their desserts. “It is different for girls,” He muttered.

“How so?” Kyla asked.

“Girls can easily tell each other that they like each other, or that they’re really pretty, or that they want to kiss and hold hands, and it doesn’t mean anything,” Seonho said as he started squinting over the back of the booth.

“Don’t you do all of that stuff to every guy you meet?” Kyla asked.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“That definitely sounds like you, Seonho,” Samuel said.

“Oh, you’re that boy!” Yewon said, sitting straight up and clapping her hands together. She knocked into Sungyeon’s side and hissed, “It’s him!”

Minghao would have loved to know what Seonho had a reputation for amongst their seniors. If he had to guess from the grin on Sungyeon’s face as she shushed Yewon, he doubted it would be anything Seonho would be proud to admit. Then again, Seonho had a sense of pride in things that most people would regard with unequivocal shame.

“I’m not anybody,” Seonho denied.

“You’re that kid who got upset because someone’s cousin wouldn’t wear you as a backpack,” Sungyeon said. Minghao barely knew what that meant, but he decided that hearing the words made him like Sungyeon a lot more.

“I heard about that,” Seunghyuk muttered as he played absently with the hair at the nape of Minghao’s neck. It was nice to feel the slow stroking of Seunghyuk’s fingers at the back of his head and it was much nicer than being jabbed with elbows and knees as Seonho twisted this way and that to look out for their desserts.

“Hyung, why didn’t you ever tell me?” Minghao asked.

“Yes, Hyung,” Samuel mocked, “Why didn’t you tell me about Yoo Seonho’s embarrassing past?”

“It is his embarrassing present,” Kyla corrected.

“Do you have an embarrassing past, Kyla?” Yewon asked.

“She was a child model back in America,” Sungyeon said. Kyla pouted, probably disappointed with being unable to reveal such a thing herself, and sank in her seat.

“You’re really pretty so you could be a model now,” Yewon said thoughtfully. “And that isn’t very embarrassing. How about you, Sungyeon?”

“Yesterday I told you I loved you and you thought it was a sneeze. How’s that for embarrassing?”

Yewon flushed and shoved at Sungyeon’s shoulder. She lacked strength in the action and only managed to make her hand glance off Sungyeon’s shoulder and into the area of her boob. Yewon squeaked at this and shoved her hands underneath her thighs as she mumbled apologies.

“You’re literally my girlfriend, Yewon, I’m not going to be mad about you copping a feel,” Sungyeon grinned as Yewon wailed that it had been an accident. “I am mad about the sneezing though.”

“I’m sorry!” Yewon cried as she tipped into Sungyeon’s side. “I love you!”

“Bless you,” Sungyeon and Kyla chorused.

“Do you think we could be like them?” Minghao asked quietly. He tipped his head ever so slightly closer to Seunghyuk and smiled when Seunghyuk took the hint and twisted his fingers Minghao’s hair with more care.

“I’d like it if we could be like them,” Seunghyuk said.

They would have to spend more time with Yewon and Sungyeon. They were sweet, but not sickening like Zhengting and Eungi were. They could go on double dates just to get a sense of the ease between the two of them and replicate that well enough to make Euiwoong sick with jealousy. It wasn’t enough for Euiwoong to mistake their Chinese whispers for flirting. They had to actually do it. Or pretend to actually do it. None of this would feel right without putting at least that much effort in.

Minghao didn’t get the chance to express any of those sentiments because their desserts arrived and Seonho kneed Minghao in the ribs as he sat down properly.

“Hi,” Seonho said loudly.

“Hello,” The waiter said. It was absolutely not the cute girl who had chirped their order back at them before confirming the price at the counter. This man was tall and broad shouldered with the sort of face seen in magazines. Or Seonho’s daydreams during their Geography lessons on Tuesdays.

“I’m Seonho!” Seonho said very helpfully as the waiter attempted to distribute the desserts to everyone. Minghao doubted he would ever get his Mango Mystery sundae any time soon. The suspense of the mystery was already too much without Seonho continually kneeing Minghao’s bruised ribs and pulling some half-asleep expression at the waiter.

“Oh, no,” Seunghyuk gasped.

“What is it?” Minghao whispered.

Seunghyuk pulled Minghao closer to his side, away from the wild appendages that had done more than enough damage, and whispered back, “He is doing that sexy face from the other day. I think he is trying to flirt with the waiter.”

Seunghyuk wasn’t wrong. It was embarrassing seeing it here while Minghao and Samuel weren’t proving themselves better at expressing such aspects of their personalities. Kyla looked like she wouldn’t be able to stomach the cookie dough monstrosity that she had ordered.

“Do you come here often, Hyung?” Seonho asked.

“Hyung?” Samuel hissed at Kyla. The waiter didn’t say anything about being addressed so familiarly. His eye twitched a bit but he continued to deliver satisfactory customer service.

“I work here. Is the strawberry shortcake sundae yours?”

“It is,” Seonho agreed. “But you’ve forgotten something.”

“And what might that be?”

“Please don’t say it’s his number,” Sungyeon whispered, her eyes scrunched up and her hands clasped tightly with Yewon’s.

“I also ordered a carrot cake and a vanilla milkshake. And thinking about it I would also like your number.”

“The rest of your order will be over shortly,” The waiter said blandly. He set about distributing the rest of the desserts on his tray. Minghao finally got his sundae and he wasn’t about to wait around for everybody else before he started.

“Oh, Hyung, this is tasty,” Minghao said. He scooped up some mango ice cream with a cube of pineapple and a sparing amount of whipped cream. He held out his spoon and Seunghyuk stared at it dumbly. Minghao held the spoon closer and said, “Try some.”

Seunghyuk nodded and opened his mouth. His fingers stopped moving in Minghao’s hair as he closed his mouth around the spoon and he nodded when Minghao pulled the spoon back out through his lips.

“You’re right, Justin, it’s good.”

“Ah, this is embarrassing,” Kyla muttered. “I didn’t come here to watch this. I wanted to see someone being a baby because he fancies someone who doesn’t like him back.”

“I think we are still going to get to see that,” Samuel replied.

“What did you have?” Minghao asked. Seunghyuk leaned back when Minghao craned his neck to see, probably so that Minghao could see for himself what he was looking at. “Is this just normal chocolate cake?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I have some?” Minghao asked.

“Help yourself,” Seunghyuk said as he gestured to his cake on the plate. That wasn’t good for practice.

“After I just fed you? Feed me too, my hands are tired,” Minghao said before opening his mouth expectantly.

“Maybe I should try that,” Seonho said as he kneed Minghao again. Minghao couldn’t be bothered with trying to reclaim his space in the booth because he was waiting for the cake. “Did anyone see the name on that hot guy’s tag?”

“Yeah, it said Never in Your Wildest Dreams,” Kyla said at the same time Yewon said, “Hwang Minhyun.”

“Ugh, Unnie, please wait before speaking at times like this,” Kyla said.

“Sorry. But I didn’t want to lie,” Yewon said. “I did see his nametag. It probably wouldn’t hurt for Seonho to know.”

“It absolutely will hurt,” Seonho said.

“Why are you agreeing with what we are thinking?” Kyla asked.

“Why are you still not giving me cake?” Minghao asked.

“Ooh, that’s a good one,” Seonho said. He softened his voice and tried, “Give me cake, Hyung. Yeah, I’ll try that when he comes over.”

“I kind of want to know what is going to hurt,” Samuel muttered.

Minghao already knew what was hurting - his taste buds were hurting from the lack of cake that Seunghyuk was providing. He butted his head into Seunghyuk’s shoulder a couple of times and said, “Hyung, cake.”

“Oh my gosh, if I don’t get my ice cream soon I will never be able to stomach it,” Kyla muttered as she stared balefully at the empty space her cookie dough ice cream was yet to occupy.

“You can have some of mine and Sungyeon’s while you wait?” Yewon said brightly as she offered a bright blue spoonful.

“Can she?” Sungyeon asked. It only took a millisecond of Kyla pushing out her bottom lip for Sungyeon to sigh and say, “Of course you can.”

“Thank you, Unnie,” Kyla said through mouthfuls of smurf guts. It was that easy for Kyla and she was even fed a few more heaped scoops of bubblegum ice cream while Seunghyuk was doing everything he could to avoid giving Minghao any of his cake

“Please, Hyung, why won’t you give me any? I even fed you some of my sundae, didn’t I? You said it was tasty. Can’t I have some of yours?”

“You can, Justin, you can. Just help yourself,” Seunghyuk said loudly.

“You have to give it to me.”

“For crying out loud, just give him the cake!”

Minghao hadn’t even noticed the waiter approaching, much less hanging around for long enough to get annoyed over the cake situation.

“Oh my God,” Samuel breathed, slapping Kyla’s arm

“I’m sorry, customers,” The waiter said as he Kyla her cookie dough creation. “It was an accident, it just slipped out. I hope I haven’t ruined your experience today.”

“It’s fine, you didn’t,” Sungyeon said. “You only said what everyone else was thinking.”

“Everyone else was thinking it. Are you going to give me the cake now?” Minghao whispered.

Seunghyuk was very red while he awkwardly broke off a piece of the cake and held it out for Minghao to take a bite. It was nice. But it was just a boring chocolate cake that Minghao could eat anywhere. Eungi and Zhengting had left eggshells in cake mix and it was still more worthwhile than eating this overpriced slice. Minghao was glad he had gone with the mango mystery sundae after his extensive debating over the menu.

“Thanks, it was nice,” Minghao said.

“Good,” Seunghyuk said. He swiped his thumb across the corner of Minghao’s lips. He said, “Crumbs.”

“Okay.”

“Hey, so, Hwang Minhyun-ssi,” Seonho said, leaning up in his seat and squinting at the waiter’s chest as though he hadn’t just asked somebody else what the name tag said. Samuel asked where Seonho’s glasses were but Kyla shushed him loudly. The waiter only looked a little bit annoyed and Minghao wondered where he was getting this extra reserve of patience from.  

“What can I do for you, Customer?”

“Would you feed me cake, Hwang Minhyun-ssi? Hyung?” Seonho said.

“I will not,” the waiter said. “I hope that the rest of you can enjoy your food. Let us know if there’s anything else we can do for you.”

“Choi Seunghyuk, how come you can physically touch your ‘friend’ like that but you couldn’t feed him cake?” Sungyeon asked.

Minghao hadn’t thought it was too much of a big deal, Seunghyuk getting rid of a few crumbs for him. It was only something helpful, but if he could be kind to that extent, maybe Sungyeon was right. Why had Seunghyuk been mean and deprived him of cake?

“It’s a bit different,” Seunghyuk said quietly.

Minghao didn’t know what that was supposed to mean, but he had ice cream to eat so he didn’t care too much. It was tasty and he could have it all to himself. There was even fresh mango and pineapple in almost every mouthful and Minghao could quite happily keep eating this for the rest of the evening without feeling guilty about missing food groups.

“This is really good. Do they do take out too? I think this would be good for Zheng-ge. It has lots of fruit so he wouldn’t have to worry too much about getting fat,” Minghao said quietly.

“He worries about getting fat?” Seunghyuk asked, grinning as he leaned his head closer to Minghao’s.

“He does. He has some sort of meltdown about dieting almost as often as he does about his boyfriend leaving the house,” Minghao confirmed.

“Meltdown?”

“That’s right, he cries about how the world is ending and forgets how to put his shoes on the right feet.”

“Like the other day?”

“Just like that, except he is usually covered in some sort of food,” Minghao admitted.

Seunghyuk laughed and knocked his shoulder into Minghao’s lightly. Minghao liked it when Seunghyuk laughed - even more these days. He had always scrunched his face up when he laughed, but since pretending to be Minghao’s boyfriend he was able to share his laughs with Minghao more easily, leaning into him and holding onto him. It made Minghao laugh even harder, even though he was never laughing when Zhengting was being dramatic.

“Ah, I wish I had never sat here,” Seonho said on Minghao’s other side. “I could have been close enough to read my future husband’s name tag and instead I am trapped listening to these two flirting in Chinese.”

“That’s what Euiwoong-hyung always says,” Minghao said.

“He wants to marry Hwang Minhyun-ssi? Forget that. Teach me some Chinese quickly so I can impress the hot guy.”

“I thought you already knew Chinese,” Samuel said.

“Yeah but what if I did that and the hot guy knows actual Chinese?” Seonho asked. “I would look like a complete idiot.”

“You think you don’t already look like an idiot?” Kyla asked. Seonho started to say something that was undoubtedly stupid, but Kyla waved off his words and continued, “So Euiwoong-seonbae mentions the two of you always flirting in Chinese?”

“We’re not flirting,” Minghao said. “Just talking.”

“Nobody else knows what you’re saying,” Sungyeon pointed out. “You could be flirting for all we know, which is very cute. If he isn’t completely straight-”

“Shh! Get down!” Seonho yelled. It took a moment for everyone at the table to realise that he was talking to them and not a random customer who had obscured his view of the waiter from earlier. Seonho’s face plastered to the tabletop eventually clued them all in so they lowered themselves with varying success.

“Are you going to tell us why we are hiding?” Sungyeon whispered. Seonho made an indistinct hand signal but he shouldn’t have bothered.

Park Siyeon was peering over the top of the booth and smiling down at them.

“Kyla, fancy seeing you here,” She said happily. And then she noticed Sungyeon and Yewon and her expression faltered. “What is happening?”

It was a bit difficult to explain the situation, that must have been why nobody bothered trying. Everyone sat up in their seats and avoided saying anything aside from overly bright greetings. Siyeon didn’t look at all happy with that and she looked even more confused when Seunghyuk shuffled over in the booth to make room for her.

“Boyfriend-seonbae, can I sit at that end instead?” Seonho asked before Siyeon made her way around.

“I don’t want to sit next to you,” Siyeon said quickly as she planted herself in the space Seunghyuk had made. “Why are all of these people gathered?”

“They’re our new friends,” Yewon said brightly.

“Unnie, they’re not my friends,” Kyla denied.

“They’re more your friends than ours,” Sungyeon pointed out.

“You’re all friends with them now,” Siyeon said. “I just want to know why.”

Nobody said anything and Minghao didn’t realise why until Seonho yelped in pain, quickly followed by Seunghyuk.

“Sorry. What is happening with the legs over there?” Samuel said as he attempted to peer under the table. He hit his forehead on the edge of the table but was still able to glare pointedly at Minghao as he rubbed at the red bump on his head.

It was difficult to even think about explaining the situation with Siyeon present. She was Euiwoong’s ex. She was once the person who probably did ridiculous things like holding Euiwoong’s hand and tying his shoelaces. Minghao wasn’t sure what Euiwoong was like. He had considered what it would be like if Euiwoong was chic and used words that seemed rough but still made Minghao’s heart flutter. He had considered what it would be like if Euiwoong was sweet and prepared to do anything to see Minghao smile. Sitting here with Seunghyuk being the only thing separating him from Siyeon, Minghao was beginning to wonder what it would be like if Euiwoong was the sort who liked to rely on other people, liked to be spoiled.

From what Minghao had heard - not just the endless praise that Kyla spewed whenever the opportunity presented itself - he had heard that Siyeon was a high-achiever who was confessed to on a semi-regular basis. She could occasionally be seen smiling and acting cute, but she wasn’t smiling at all right now. She appeared stern enough that Seunghyuk wouldn’t be enough protection from her. She seemed she could play the stern type who would sigh and act annoyed but wouldn’t really mind spoiling someone.

Or Minghao’s imagination was running away from him.

Siyeon was still expecting an answer and she still wasn’t receiving one. Minghao beckoned Seunghyuk close enough for him to whisper, “Could you say it for me?”

Seunghyuk didn’t reply verbally. He squeezed Minghao’s thigh briefly and cleared his throat.

“You know Lee Euiwoong, don’t you?” Seunghyuk began. Not the start Minghao would have chosen but he was determined to keep his mouth shut. He hardly had grounds to complain about this.

“I do. But I think you already knew that, Seonbae.”

“I did,” Seunghyuk confirmed, nodding. “The thing is, we gathered to help out a friend. Someone at this table really liked Euiwoong. As friends of Euiwoong, and of you,his ex-girlfriend, we were brainstorming ways to appeal to him.”

“Why do you like Lee Euiwoong?” Siyeon asked. Minghao just about had a heart attack until he realised that she was leaning across the table to look at Samuel.

“Why do you think it’s me? Uh, Siyeon-seonbae,” Samuel said not entirely successful in disguising the tremor in his voice. Minghao was glad to have a friend like Samuel. He was certain that Seonho would have outed him immediately.

“I don’t want to hear that it is any of my friends,” Siyeon said, brusquely pointing to the three girls sitting opposite her. “Seonbae likes someone else, and that one over there isn’t nearly cute enough to have such pure intentions. There are only two of you left, and I guess it’s you.”

“Wait,” Seonho said as he turned his attention away from the man making a milkshake at the counter and towards the table of people he was seated with. “Am I ‘that one over there’? I would like you to reconsider the point about me not being cute if I am.”

“I have reconsidered and I still don’t think you’re cute,” Siyeon said.

“If you were a hot guy who made ice cream for a living, how would your answer change?” Seonho asked, unperturbed.

“I don’t think he makes the ice cream,” Sungyeon said. “He just scoops it.”

“He definitely makes the ice cream,” Seonho said dreamily. “Or I definitely want him to make-”

“I am going to ask you to reconsider finishing that sentence before someone breaks someone else’s fingers,” Siyeon said. Seonho stopped speaking immediately and Samuel breathed out a relieved, “Thank god.”

Minghao did not feel quite as relieved. He had just heard Siyeon threaten to break Seonho’s fingers and he seemed to be the only person at the table who cared about the violence. For one, if Siyeon still had feelings for Euiwoong, the threat could easily be applied to Minghao’s fingers.

“So, what do you like about Euiwoong?” Siyeon asked. It sounded like a test, and Samuel was bound to fail if all he could do was widen his eyes at Minghao. There was no way that Minghao was going to do the stupid thing and help. He needed to preserve his own safety. Besides, Euiwoong was amazing and it should have been simple for Samuel to think of at least one thing that he found appealing.

“Before that,” Seunghyuk said (apparently because it was time to be a hero). “We were trying to work out whether or not it was worth going any further with this. You already guessed, so we might as well admit that we aren't sure whether Euiwoong likes men or not.”

Siyeon craned her neck so that she could include Minghao in her baffled glare. “Aren't you his best friends or something?”

“Justin and I are close with Euiwoong,” Seunghyuk agreed. “But we have never had conversations about things like that. Each time we try to broach the subject it is too clumsy and obvious.”

Minghao couldn't recall ever directly asking about Euiwoong’s ideal type. The best he had managed was to point out people and make up attractive aspects to try (and fail) to lead Euiwoong to make comments about. He couldn't be sure whether Seunghyuk really had these other similar experiences, or if he was lying so the story sounded better to Siyeon.

Regardless of the amount of truth, Siyeon looked convinced. Well, she was smiling, which tended to be a positive thing for most people. Minghao hoped this was positive for him too.

“You really don't know?” Siyeon asked. Nobody denied not knowing, but Siyeon was hardly crystal clear about what she was referring to. The lack of reply was good enough because she sat back in her seat and pulled Seunghyuk's remaining chocolate cake towards herself and pointed at Samuel with the fork.

“Correct me if I'm wrong, but you're friends with Lee Daehwi in my year, aren't you?” She asked. Samuel shifted in his seat and sent another of his strange looks at Minghao. This was definitely something beyond Minghao. He didn't know any of Samuel's other friends so Samuel would have to use his own brain power to answer this question.

“Yes, sort of,” Samuel eventually said.

“And you don't know either?” Siyeon asked, amusement dancing around her lips. She nodded, sighed though the wistfulness sounded practiced, and said, “A nanosecond after we broke up, Euiwoong and Daehwi have regularly been meeting up to - ah, there are children around, aren't there? - _kiss_.” She took a delicate bite of the cake. She chewed for a moment and added, “But you didn't hear that from me.”

Minghao wondered how she knew it in the first place. He wished he didn't know but he was glad of the mystery being settled. Euiwoong wasn't totally averse to men - maybe. Siyeon’s claim was as painful to hear as it was too good to be true. Euiwoong kissed a boy and it was something he allegedly did often, so it didn't exclude the possibility that he might want a boyfriend one day. Minghao had to do everything he could to make sure that it would be him.

“Siyeon-seonbaenim,” Minghao said quietly. Siyeon looked over at him with interest. Her eyes were bright and wide and Minghao only felt more terrified for having the gaze fixed on him. But it was strange to call out to somebody for no reason. He had to be brave. He said, “Might you have any ideas on how to attract Euiwoong-hyung?”

Siyeon raised her eyebrows and ate more cake. She licked at some crumbs at the corner of her lips and smiled brightly when Sungyeon passed her a napkin. She blotted at her lips and turned back to Minghao. “I can’t guarantee they’ll be any good, but I do have some ideas,” She finally said.

Minghao could pin his hopes on that much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: Justin didn't get up off his bum even once this chapter. let's all remember to walk around and stretch if we are sitting down for extended periods of time!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin is a bad fake boyfriend and Seunghyuk is a bad bad boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay let's pretend i didn't dip on this for almost two weeks only to return with this.

Siyeon had specifically stated that her ideas on how to attract Euiwoong might not be any good, but Minghao chose to trust her. He trusted her enough to admit that the person who liked Euiwoong was not Samuel, but it was him. She had laughed at his chagrin, flipping her hair over her shoulder, and told him that he was far too cute for Euiwoong. Still, she had made quick work of finishing Seunghyuk’s cake - even offered Minghao the last bite and held the fork out tantalisingly until Seonho lunged forwards and stole the cake - before she gave her first piece of advice.

It wasn’t until school broke up for the summer that Minghao and Seunghyuk were able to act on the advice.

“Here you go,” Seunghyuk said, dimples pressing high in his cheeks, as he handed over a bottle of pop. But before Minghao had a proper grip of the bottle, it slipped from Seunghyuk’s fingers and rolled away in the grass. Seunghyuk made an aborted motion and scoffed, but it was too late because he was clearly about to fetch the bottle for Minghao before he remembered the plan. He sat down at the picnic bench and said, “Pick it up, Justin. You’ve got hands, haven’t you?”

Siyeon, sitting at the picnic table next to theirs, was about to give away her own plan if she didn’t stop giggling soon. Euiwoong was frowning a lot but Hyungseob had stayed home because he was ill so the best Euiwoong had to seek commiseration from was Samuel.

“Why is she here?” Euiwoong mumbled, pretending not to glare at Siyeon. Samuel sighed.

“I don’t know, why is anyone anywhere?” Samuel said, plainly glaring at Euiwoong.

Minghao didn’t have the time to care about why anybody was glaring at anyone else, because Euiwoong was frowning at him pitifully, and maybe this was the beginning of Siyeon’s plan bearing fruit. Minghao was happy that the plan was already more successful than any of the previous half-hearted attempts.

But when he sat back down at the table with the bottle that had dropped, Seunghyuk furtively swapped it with the bottle he had kept for himself.

“What are you doing?” Minghao asked, nudging the unopened bottle back towards Seunghyuk.

“Your bottle might have split when it fell. Take mine instead.”

“Is this something a bad boyfriend would do?” Minghao hissed. Seunghyuk looked thoughtful for a moment.

“Ah, you’re right,” Seunghyuk agreed. He knocked over the bottle he had been attempting to swap with Minghao’s and passed it over to complete the exchange. “Now they’re both damaged.”

“Damaged? What are you talking about?” Minghao muttered as he uncapped his bottle and took a small sip. Seunghyuk neglected to reply and Minghao was surprised that he didn’t mind that at all.

Already today, Seunghyuk was proving himself to be bad at being a bad boyfriend. When they first met up with the rest of the group Minghao had to mention the plan before Seunghyuk dropped his hand and said something about how sweaty the grip was. Within minutes of that declaration he had curled his hand into Minghao’s and given him the same sparkling smile as usual. Minghao had hoped for a better performance to work with and at this point it was better for Seunghyuk to keep his mouth shut if he had nothing mean to say.

Minghao was monitoring Euiwoong for signs that the plan was miraculously working and he was about to swoop in to save Minghao from Seunghyuk's soft smiles as he gently suggested Minghao get a haircut. The plan was not working and Euiwoong only stopped glaring at Siyeon to have a spontaneous coughing fit.

“Is that Lee Daehwi?” Siyeon squinted into the distance. Euiwoong coughed harder. Minghao twisted in his seat and, though he wasn't particularly familiar with his upperclassmen he assumed the person following Seonho to the picnic tables was the person who went around kissing Euiwoong.

Daehwi was shorter than Seonho and apparently more sensible because instead of trying to balance bottles of pop on his fingertips he was carrying them in his arms like a normal person would. It seemed likely that Euiwoong would go for the sensible type, but Minghao totally couldn’t pinpoint anything kissable about Daehwi.

Minghao was staring, but Daehwi didn’t seem to mind and only greeted Minghao even more warmly than he did anybody else. Minghao hoped it was Daehwi being self-conscious and the kind attitude wasn’t due to anything ridiculous like Euiwoong mentioning how ugly and unkissable Minghao was before biting at Daehwi’s lips during one of their secret kissing sessions. It was difficult to tell whether someone determined another person to be unkissable so Minghao decided to stop squinting up at Daehwi. He needed to stop thinking about it. But Euiwoong was staring too.

The thing was, everyone knew that Euiwoong and Daehwi were having trysts here, there, and everywhere. Sungyeon and Yewon were making their knowledge of the fact obvious as they exchanged looks and made unsubtle gestures between Euiwoong and Daehwi; Samuel was looking anywhere except for Daehwi, who looked a bit put out that he wasn't welcomed warmly by a friend as he passed around bottles of pop; and Seunghyuk had edged closer to Minghao, arm tight against his waist. Even Seonho knew, so he must have known it was awkward to invite Daehwi over to the group. When Minghao muttered this as quietly as he could, Seonho looked exasperated.

“What was I supposed to do when your amazingly bad boyfriend left me with the rest of the drinks and only brought back the ones for you two?”

It was a valid question, Minghao supposed. He said, “Hyung, you should have given the drink to someone else. Even if you made me drop the drink you still look too good.”

“Sorry,” Seunghyuk said, leaning closer to keep his voice low. “I can't help but try to put you first, Justin.”

“Adorable,” Seonho said, disgusted.

“You need to be a worse boyfriend, Hyung. Please remember.”

“I will try,” Seunghyuk said. Minghao wasn't so sure about the reply but this wasn't the time to question it. Euiwoong was so close by and Minghao realised too late that he hadn't bothered to give the admonishment in Chinese.

Minghao looked across the table at Euiwoong, but he seemed more interested in the woodgrain of the table top. Minghao hadn't seen a side of Euiwoong like this before. He was usually a lot more composed, even able to smile and make light of situations which flustered him. Daehwi's presence alone was enough to elicit a reaction that was more than Minghao had ever managed.

Daehwi smiled at Minghao. It was difficult to accept such an innocent gesture.

“It is interesting to see you here, Daehwi,” Siyeon said as she was passed a bottle which she quickly offered to Kyla. “Are you with anyone?”

“I was with the hyungs and Seonho called out to me and invited me to come for ice cream in exchange for helping him to carry these,” Daehwi explained. He seemed to be eyeing all of the occupants of the tables to confirm the validity of the invitation. Minghao couldn't tell if he was assertive or meek. He had a loud voice and was being clingy with Siyeon, but he nervously bit his lip when he failed to meet Euiwoong’s gaze.

“You came alone?” Yewon asked, the furrow of her brow doing nothing to mar the brightness of her voice. “Did Woojin not want to join us?”

“Woojin-hyung is sick today, Noona,” Daehwi said with a sympathetic pout. Yewon mirrored the expression and tugged at Sungyeon’s arm.

“I hope he gets well soon!” Sungyeon said. Daehwi nodded emphatically and Sungyeon added, “I'm going to text him to make him get better soon. You too, Yewon and Seunghyuk, we're all classmates!”

Rather than reaching for his phone, Seunghyuk said, “Woojin is sick. On the same day as Hyungseob? That is a terrible coincidence.”

“Is that hyung sick too? I don't have his number, so can you tell him I hope he gets well soon?” Daehwi said, very thoughtfully.

“I'll tell him,” Seunghyuk lied. He tightened the loop of his arm around Minghao’s waist even though it was impossible to be any closer.

“Can I ask when we decided to go for ice cream?” Kyla asked, thankfully putting an end to all the cursory well wishes for Hyungseob and Woojin.

“We're not going for ice cream?” Daehwi asked, scandalised.

“I want to eat ice cream!” Seonho grumbled defensively before Samuel could finish calling him names.

Somehow, they ended up going to the same dessert shop as before. Minghao couldn’t understand how they all came to this agreement, but he had been focused on Sungyeon and Yewon squeezing each other’s cheeks and declaring one another the world’s cutest when the decision was made.

“You’re cute too, Justin,” Sungyeon said secretly as they set off. Minghao rubbed at his cheek where Sungyeon had pinched him hard enough to sting.

Seunghyuk caught Minghao’s eye and rubbed Minghao’s cheek gently. He must have thought it was allowed seeing as they were dawdling at the rear of the group. Minghao’s stride stuttered to a stop while he watched the concentration in Seunghyuk’s face. Seunghyuk’s hand moved upwards, barely-there pressure on Minghao’s cheek as it combed through the hair that curled around Minghao’s ear.

“Sungyeon was right. You’re cute too.”

“Ah, Hyung,” Minghao grumbled. “You made me worry a bit.”

“What would you ever have to worry about, Justin?”

Minghao had plenty of stuff to worry about and he wondered if Seunghyuk thought of Minghao’s troubles as trifles. But only for a moment. Seunghyuk had always listened well, from the very first day they met, he had been patient with Minghao and encouraged him to integrate well with their peers. If Minghao had struggled with problems - such as the boy in his class who claimed to be an expert at a handful of languages making fun of him, or the boy in his class who exclaimed loudly at every little occurrence so Minghao often missed important points during lessons, or the girl in his class who was haughty and mean unless a girl from the year above was within earshot - Seunghyuk had lent Minghao his ears and offered words of encouragement and possible solutions. Seunghyuk knew about most of Minghao’s worries.

Minghao pouted. He couldn’t feel sullen at the fact that Seunghyuk saw fit to joke when he was doing a terrible job of being a bad boyfriend.

Seunghyuk lifted his hand to Minghao’s other cheek. “I can see a reason to worry. This side doesn’t match.”

“Please don’t pinch me,” Minghao grumbled.

“Do you think I would?” Seunghyuk smiled. He dropped his hand and ducked in to peck Minghao’s cheek before turning on his heel to join the rest of the group.

“That might be the cutest thing I have ever seen in my life,” Daehwi said. Minghao hadn’t even realised anyone else was waiting around to witness that. He didn’t like that out of all of the people around it was Daehwi smiling at him in awe. He couldn’t even be pleased that Kyla was standing beside Daehwi.

“It is in the top five for me,” She said.

“Why can’t I have a relationship like that?” Daehwi sighed wistfully.

Kyla blinked her frown away quickly and said, “Oppa, I think the unnies are calling for you.”

“Are they? I wonder what they could want,” Daehwi pondered as he jogged to catch up. He was barely out of ear-shot before Kyla grabbed Minghao’s arm.

“What was that, Justin?”

“I don’t know,” He admitted. “That was weird, wasn’t it?”

“It was very strange,” Kyla agreed as she stared up with wide eyes. Minghao decided he didn’t like Kyla’s eyes. They were pretty and dark with long eyelashes but the gaze that fell on him was judgemental. Minghao looked away from her and she asked, “Is it real now?”

“Is what real?”

“Justin.”

“Kyla,” Minghao said just as forcefully as the call of his own name. Kyla thumped his arm and he winced away from her.

“Justin, how long are you going to keep this up for? The whole summer too? If you do this for too long, surely Euiwoong-seonbae would feel strange about going out with you. Aren’t you all friends?” Kyla implored.

“We’re just doing what Siyeon-seonbae said,” Minghao shrugged. “Euiwoong-hyung won’t feel bad because Seunghyuk is being a bad boyfriend.”

“But he isn’t a bad boyfriend,” Kyla said, shaking her head. “He is a very good boyfriend. Anyone would be lucky to have a boyfriend like him.”

“I know. I’m lucky to have a hyung like him.”

“I think it is a bit more than that,” Kyla said.

Minghao couldn’t be bothered to ask Kyla to elaborate. He wasn’t about to continue talking around in circles like this about nothing. Seunghyuk was just joking around, being cheekier because he thought it would be something funny. It wasn’t that funny, not when Minghao was getting annoyed at what a bad job Seunghyuk was doing, but it wasn’t a major issue.

“Let’s catch up to the others. We might miss something important,” Minghao said quickly.

“What would you consider to be important?” Kyla asked as she walked alongside him.

“Seonho might do something stupid and embarrassing.”

“Do you think you are not being stupid and embarrassing?” Kyla muttered. Minghao didn’t feel like responding to such silliness.

When they caught up to the rest of the group outside the dessert shop, Samuel regarded Minghao and Kyla with suspicion.

“What were you two whispering about?” he asked, whispering himself as he grabbed both of their wrists to prevent evasion.

“Nothing,” Minghao shrugged. Kyla was not so keen to maintain the status quo. Minghao couldn’t be entirely certain what was said, because Kyla sounded like she was doing an impression of Seonho’s gibberish (though more systematic in structure) when she turned to Samuel. Samuel frowned for a moment but he shrugged and released Minghao’s wrist.

“What? What is it?” Minghao asked. Samuel didn’t reply to Minghao but he was fine to say something to Kyla as they stood outside the dessert shop. Minghao wanted to go inside and sit down and maybe admire this sullen side of Euiwoong that had appeared today, instead he was stuck listening to Kyla and Samuel talk about something or other in loud English. He didn’t like being unable to understand what was so serious to Kyla (and something so insignificant to Samuel) when he could have been sitting inside and seductively licking ice cream from a spoon where Euiwoong could see him.

Minghao met a pair of eyes over Kyla’s shoulder. Daehwi’s eyes were wide and he flinched when he realised that Minghao was looking directly at him. In an instant his expression softened into something more pleasant and he hooked his chin over Kyla’s shoulder.

“What’s happening, kids?” Daehwi asked brightly. “We were wondering why it was taking so long for you to join us.”

“We were just talking,” Samuel shrugged.

“Anything fun? Was it a secret?” Daehwi asked, scrunching up his face and puckering his lips obnoxiously until Samuel prodded him in the centre of his forehead. He yelped and rubbed his head and stepped away from Kyla and grasped at Minghao’s arm. “You two can keep your secrets. Justin can sit next to me.”

“What about his boyfriend?” Samuel drawled as he followed Daehwi’s wilful leading of Minghao into the dessert shop. Minghao’s (fake) boyfriend was a bad actor on all accounts because he was doing a rubbish job of pretending not to be curious about what had taken them so long to come inside. Seunghyuk craned his neck to watch as Daehwi told the shop employees that he was going to rearrange the furniture and dragged a smaller table to the end of the booth and dragged two seats to sit there. Seunghyuk looked put out when Minghao ended up in the furthest seat from him, right at the end of the table. Minghao found himself confused about the seating arrangements too.

On one side of the table, Sungyeon and Yewon were cosily nestled against each other with Siyeon shooting furtive glances at Kyla on her otherside who was doing her best to ignore Minghao. Along the other side of the table, Seunghyuk was wedged into the furthest corner by Euiwoong (who was taking turns to glare at both Siyeon and Daehwi), Samuel reading the menu, and Seonho who looked the happiest out of anybody.

Seonho seemed to notice Minghao’s curiosity as he tipped his head towards him and whispered, “I made Samuel give me the seat on the end. Now my future husband will be able to see my wonderful face more clearly.”

“Will you be able to see him?” Samuel asked. “Where are your glasses today?”

“I left them at home. Please don’t tell him that I have bad eyes. He might doubt my pure feelings.”

“Surely your feelings are more pure because you love him even though you can’t see him,” Kyla said disinterestedly.  

“Good idea,” Seonho agreed. “Tell him I have suffered my whole life and his beautiful face is the first thing I have ever seen clearly.”

“Have you seen his face clearly?” Minghao asked.

“Who are we talking about?” Daehwi asked, his mouth millimetres from Minghao’s ear. He was closer than expected because the conversation had escalated from whispers to a volume that Seonho should have been more ashamed about. Daehwi didn’t need to be that close, but he was and he smiled sanguinely at Minghao.

“A person who works here,” Minghao said quietly.

Daehwi nodded in understanding. “So it’s like a private joke.”

“Ah, Hyung,” Seonho said, expression stung, “It isn’t a joke. I really love him.”

“Okay, I get it,” Daehwi said solemnly. Seonho looked pleased that he was being taken seriously for all of five seconds before someone came to take everyone’s orders.

“Where is Hwang Minhyun?” Seonho asked. The waitress hesitated as she looked around the table and Minghao felt sorry for her. She was small and cute and clutching helplessly at her notepad as though it would be enough to save her from Seonho’s disappointment.

“Maybe he isn’t working today?” Sungyeon suggested.

“I hope he isn’t,” Siyeon muttered under her breath.

“Are you friends of Minhyun’s? Should I call him out for you?” The waitress asked meekly.

“There’s no need for that,” Sungyeon said brightly. “We can just order now, it is fine.”

The waitress looked unsure at Sungyeon’s solidly supportive words and her expression turned vindicated as Seonho loudly complained at being deprived of contact with the love of his life. Nobody else paid Seonho too much mind as they ordered. Daehwi, leaning into Minghao’s side to read the menu, wasn’t paying much mind to anything at all because he was on the receiving end of looks from Seunghyuk and Euiwoong that had Minghao shivering. The combined effort must have created a draught of sorts because Siyeon leaned across Kyla and patted Daewhi on the arm.

“Somi told me that they make milkshakes out of cakes here,” Siyeon said.

“That’s incredible!” Daewhi exclaimed as he shuffled to look at the menu Kyla and Siyeon were sharing. Minghao wondered whether Euiwoong and Seunghyuk realised that their expressions had relaxed in tandem. It would have been funny if Minghao understood why the pair of them still seemed so tense.

Seonho had to shove Minghao’s shoulder before he realised that the waitress was waiting for his order. He hadn’t expected to have to be alerted by Seonho of all people. Minghao must have missed out on a lot because when he tried to order the same sundae he’d eaten the last time he was here everyone told the waitress not to write it down.

“Minghao, just order a drink if you want one,” Seunghyuk said from across the table. Minghao didn’t ask why, he was barely certain he had heard correctly under the smattering of Korean words directed at him from everyone else, but he glanced back at Seunghyuk for confirmation that he was doing the right thing as he ordered a berry smoothie.

Minghao still didn’t understand but he doubted asking would yield anything he could comprehend with so many people eager to talk at once. The only thing he felt he could currently understand was Seonho calling after the waitress to remind her to bring out Hwang Minhyun.

“Maybe Hwang Minhyun-ssi doesn’t want to see you because he has a giant zit on his face and he is afraid you won’t love him anymore,” Sungyeon suggested, grinning.

“Sungyeon, Hwang Minhyun-ssi doesn’t love Seonho enough to care about that,” Yewon hissed.

“I am offended by everything that was just said,” Seonho said. “My fated partner has never had a blemish on his perfect face ever. Do you understand?”

It was a wild claim to make, and Minghao wondered why Seonho felt that he could make such claims when he had only met the man three weeks before. Minghao couldn’t hear the retort, or whoever made it because Daehwi had linked his arm with Minghao’s and announced that he needed to go to the toilet.

“There’s no need to tell the rest of us,” Siyeon said dryly.

“Why are you taking Justin with you?” Euiwoong asked sharply. Daehwi froze but after a beat he continued to stand from his seat, still pulling Minghao up with him.

“Justin needs to go too,” Daehwi said, voice steady and gaze steadier as he looked up at Minghao.

“Yes, me too,” Minghao said. He wasn’t sure why, but he supposed it was necessary. This was his first time meeting Daehwi but it didn’t seem like he was stirring up trouble for the sake of it. In fact, there was hardly reason to believe that trouble existed to be stirred, so Minghao didn’t like the hard sheen over Euiwoong’s face as he looked up at them.

Seunghyuk opened his mouth, expression equally as unhappy as Euiwoong’s but Daehwi was always dragging Minghao away and shouting something back at Samuel. The dessert shop was only small, so Minghao couldn’t be surprised that there was only one toilet for the customers to use. Daehwi opened the door to reveal a room that was larger than Minghao expected, fitted with railings and a red pull-cord from the ceiling.

“It’s nothing strange,” Daehwi said quickly. Minghao hadn’t thought it was anything strange, he was only surprised at how roomy the toilet was, but there was no point saying that when Daehwi was nervously gesturing for him to enter the room. Minghao walked in and stood near the sink. Even though he could see Daehwi’s reflection in the mirror, Minghao still found himself flinching at the sound of the door locking.  

“I wanted to talk to you,” Daehwi said to the door. Minghao knew he was being addressed but he felt weird about turning around when Daehwi wasn’t even looking away from the door. At least Minghao could see Daehwi in the mirror, picking at his fingernails and slouching.

“What did you want to talk about, Daehwi-ssi?”

“You can call me hyung,” Daehwi said quickly, turning on the spot to face Minghao and tilting away from him slightly. “If you’d like. You don’t have to, Justin-ssi.”

“I will, Hyung.”

Daehwi smiled and nodded. He had the sort of smile that set Minghao at ease. It was a pretty smile that disseminated relief, and Minghao found himself unable to look away from its reflection. He must have had a lot of friends. Minghao would have liked to be his friend. If he wasn’t regularly kissing Euiwoong. As it was, Minghao was fine keeping some distance between them. They didn’t need to be friends.

Daehwi’s smile shrank as he tried to look at Minghao more directly.

“Do you like Euiwoong?”

Minghao wasn’t sure what to say. He did, obviously, but letting Daehwi know that could have been a mistake. Daehwi didn’t give him too long to answer and turned back to the door before he spoke again.

“I heard Samuel and Kyla talking,” He admitted. “I heard what they said about something being pretend to make Euiwoong jealous. Sorry. They were talking about you and your boyfriend, right? You’re trying to make Euiwoong jealous?”

Minghao couldn’t think of anything worse that Daehwi could have said to him. He had been found out and, even with the plan being exposed being a possibility, Minghao had never expected to be confronted about it. The only person worse than Euiwoong to have tried to talk about this to Minghao was Daehwi. The person who met Euiwoong to kiss (the person who was so good at kissing that Euiwoong hadn’t waited long after breaking up with Siyeon to start kissing him) was cautiously glancing at Minghao over his shoulder.

Minghao didn’t know how unbothered he was allowed to pretend to be. He turned to face Daehwi, who flinched at the sudden direct gaze, and shrugged. “When did you hear that?”

“Just now. Outside.” Daehwi pressed his palms together as though in prayer as he turned to face Minghao properly again.  

“Is that the secret you were talking about?” Minghao asked. Daehwi nodded quickly.

“Kyla and Samuel must have thought I didn’t hear them. Does your boyfriend know that it is fake?” Daehwi asked. He bit his lip and averted his eyes as he leaned back against the door. Minghao wondered why they had to have this conversation at all if neither of them wanted to be here. He wished that Daehwi could have kept his knowledge to himself and assumed bad things about Minghao from a distance instead of trapping him in a toilet to talk. But they had already started talking so Minghao couldn’t let Daewhi think those things when he had brought it up so directly.

“Seunghyuk-hyung knows. He agreed to help me.”

“Sorry. I don’t know either of you well. Are you always like that together?”

“Like what?” Minghao asked warily.

“Cute? Sorry. When your boyfriend kissed you on the cheek it was very… I feel bad for having seen it,” Daehwi said. “But you don’t really like each other?”

Of course Minghao liked Seunghyuk. He was thankful to have a neighbour who was kind and thoughtful and would go as far as pretending to be his boyfriend so that he might have a chance at turning the head of Euiwoong.

“We are pretending to go out, but I am very grateful to Seunghyuk-hyung.”

Daehwi frowned for a moment and leaned more heavily against the door. “You like Euiwoong?”

“I do.”

“Me too,” Daehwi said. “But I only like him a little bit.”

“I thought you liked him a lot,” Minghao said quickly.

“Why?”

Daehwi dropped his clasped hands but he looked no more relaxed. He must have been expecting something and Minghao couldn’t help himself. He didn’t like hearing Daehwi admit to liking Euiwoong when he was already so much closer than Minghao was. So Minghao put them on level footing and Daehwi closed his eyes, disconcerted.

“I know one of your secrets too. I know you kiss Euiwoong.”

“Did he tell you?” Daehwi asked quietly.

“No,” Minghao said. He didn’t elaborate further. It didn’t seem right to tell him that Siyeon told him. Daehwi looked unhappy enough and hearing that everyone sitting at the table knew his secret would only exacerbate that. Daehwi looked back up at Minghao glumly. He parted his lips, but he hesitated for long enough that Minghao worried about what was about to come out. He interrupted and said, “Do you want to warn me off?”

“That’s not it at all, Justin! I just wanted to confirm it,” Daehwi said quickly. He stumbled forward, almost like an accident but the expression when he met Minghao’s eyes made Minghao feel bad for flinching backwards. They weren’t anything close to friends, not really, so it was weird for whatever unconscious impulse Daehwi belatedly tempered to manifest itself so suddenly. Daehwi stepped back and kept himself to himself with a tight grimace. “I’ll be cheering you on, Justin. Will you be able to do the same for me?”

Minghao didn’t really understand, but Daehwi couldn’t keep his gaze still and he looked so small and uncertain. Minghao didn’t think that he was in any position to offer comfort, let alone support. But Daehwi was still waiting so Minghao said that he would.

Daehwi didn’t relax entirely, he seemed even more tense as he babbled happily about how they could both fairly try their best while he nudged Minghao out of the way so that he could wash his hands. Minghao didn’t think that the situation was anything close to fair because kissing Euiwoong was different to trying to make him jealous. But Minghao didn’t want to argue the toss. He wanted to be able to escape from the most awkward conversation of his life without incident.

Sungyeon and Kyla waiting on the other side of the door seemed like too much of an ‘incident’ for Minghao’s liking. He didn’t like how Sungyeon had stumbled into the toilet when Daehwi pulled the door open. She must have been leaning on the door for that to happen which was highly suspicious.

“We needed the toilet too,” Sungyeon said hastily.

“It’s all yours,” Daehwi said too brightly. For a second he looked conflicted between pulling Minghao with him and escaping alone but he decided on the latter option.

“Do you want to go first?” Sungyeon asked Kyla with meaningful squinting of her eyes.

“That oppa just said it is all yours, Unnie,” Kyla said brusquely. Sungyeon narrowed her eyes before muttering under her breath and going into the toilet. As soon as the door locked, Kyla rounded on Minghao. “What was that about?”

“I don’t know,” Minghao admitted. “It was weird.”

Kyla sighed. “Will you at least tell me if everything is alright? Did he swear at you or say anything mean?”

Minghao frowned. “Does that hyung look like the type?”

“Not at all, but you don’t look like the type to lead someone on yet you are.”

“I don’t know what that means,” Minghao pronounced delicately. Before Kyla could think to explain something that was obvious, Mingaho returned to the table.

The drinks had arrived in the time that Minghao had been trapped in an awkward conversation with Daehwi. Minghao hoped he could be forgiven for being disappointed that it had been assumed that his seat was still the same. Daehwi glanced cautiously up but averted his eyes quickly when his eyes met Minghao’s. Seunghyuk was far more eager to talk.

“Minghao, is everything alright?” He called across the table. Euiwoong winced at the volume of the voice beside his ear while Yewon almost inhaled the umbrella in her fruity-looking drink.

“Everything is fine. There was nothing to worry about. He just wanted to talk.”

“About what?”

“Nothing in particular. He just wants to be friends,” Minghao said. It wasn’t a lie as such because cheering each other on seemed like a friendly thing to do. Seunghyuk wasn’t buying the lie so Minghao smiled in the way that had always made his mum brag about him more enthusiastically. “What would you have done if he wanted to fight me? Would you have come to rescue me?”

“No, I would have come to help him finish you off,” Seunghyuk grumbled as he shrank down into his seat. Minghao winked several times in quick succession just to see Seunghyuk’s glower deepen and not to hear Seonho cast aspersions about Minghao’s ability to be cute and sexy.

“Seonho, I wish you could have seen yourself when your ‘husband’ was here,” Samuel said, apparently the only person willing to defend Minghao even a little bit.

“Yeah, you were terrible,” Kyla said as she returned to the table. Minghao looked up at her in time to see Sungyeon glaring at the back of Kyla’s head and he felt that he should be giving Kyla the same look.  

Minghao didn’t like how Kyla was becoming more and more bold as she pressed upon an issue that didn’t exist. He couldn’t be bothered with disagreeing with her because that would mean wasting brain cells trying to understand what she claimed to be wrong. She was butting in far too much and Minghao was certain everyone else would understand why he didn’t speak to her for the rest of the day. There was more enough to occupy his attention when Seonho was fluttering his lashes and trying to tangle his fingers together with the waiter’s when he brought towering portions of bingsu to the table.

Minghao didn’t eat much and he hardly touched his smoothie either. He was relieved when Seunghyuk suddenly invented a Zhengting-related emergency that he had been texted about. Nobody questioned the excuse and Minghao was glad that he was living with someone so conveniently dramatic. He didn’t quite understand why Euiwoong insisted on leaving with them.

“Are you really alright, Minghao?” Seunghyuk asked as they walked to the bus stop.

“I told you already that it was fine,” Minghao muttered. He was conscious of Euiwoong slowing his pace and Minghao wondered whether it had anything to do with the conversation the had been blocked out of.

“No,” Seunghyuk said. “You made fun of me. That’s different. What did Daehwi talk to you about?”

“I don’t think we should talk about this here,” Minghao said quietly. Even if Euiwoong was trailing behind it would have been all too easy for him to pick the name out of the question. He already didn’t seem to be in the best of moods.

“Will you ever tell me about it?”

Minghao shrugged. It really wasn’t that important but Seunghyuk sighed and pulled a face. Minghao supposed he wouldn’t lose too much by admitting, “He told me he was cheering me on.”

“That’s nice of him,” Seunghyuk said. He sounded as though he thought it was quite the opposite. “I’m sure you will find his support to be exceptionally helpful.”

“Is something the matter?” Minghao asked. When they got to the bus stop there wasn’t the excuse of having to look where they were going, so he could lean right into Seunghyuk’s face to verify a lie. Seunghyuk wasn’t a very good liar and he couldn’t even deny that something was wrong. He wilted pathetically but he couldn’t escape too far when Minghao was holding on to his arms. “We’re friends, aren’t we? You can tell me.”

“You two never stop, do you?” Euiwoong muttered. Minghao leaned back and let Seunghyuk breathe more comfortably. Every other time Euiwoong had been around them he had smiled benignly and told them how cute they were, yet his voice was terse and his face was the furthest from its evergreen smile that Minghao had ever seen it.

The plan was coming together!

“Sorry, Hyung, are we being insensitive?” Minghao asked.

“A bit,” Euiwoong said. “All of a sudden some troublesome people appeared. I didn’t know you were close to Park Siyeon.”

“She is a bit intimidating but she’s nice,” Minghao said.

“And Daehwi too,” Seunghyuk said quickly. “We like him too. What do you think of him, Woong?”

Euiwoong’s frown became more pronounced and he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “How would I know? He’s just a kid in my class. I don’t really know him.”

“That’s really interesting,” Seunghyuk said.

“What are you saying?” Minghao hissed.

“You don’t know Daehwi at all but he’s in your class? So you’ve never spoken to him before, Woong?” Seunghyuk asked. His voice sounded brittle and Minghao didn’t want to see how far he would need to be pushed before he snapped.

“You have been strange all day, please stop it,” Minghao whispered.

“Of course I have spoken to him before,” Euiwoong grumbled. “I just mean that we’re not friends. I don’t know him well, that’s all. Can we stop talking about him now?”

Euiwoong looked as though he would struggle to keep his temper if Seunghyuk prodded any further and Minghao didn’t want to see an angry side of Euiwoong, especially if it was caused by Seunghyuk being spiteful for no reason. Minghao pinched Seunghyuk’s arm and was relieved when their eyes met. The irritation in Seunghyuk’s face softened and he dropped his gaze.

“Yeah, we can stop talking about him now,” Seunghyuk said quietly. 

Euiwoong huffed but he didn’t say anything to that. He must really have been shaken by seeing Daehwi today. Minghao didn’t like to think about whether Euiwoong was simply being coy or if he genuinely didn’t consider Daehwi to be a friend. After how sincerely Daehwi had approached Minghao earlier, it felt like it would be a shame for Euiwoong not to at least openly admit to some sort of friendship.

It was one thing for Euiwoong to be acting strange but Minghao didn’t know what Seunghyuk’s excuse was.

Minghao hadn’t wanted to ask about it, because he didn’t think he would be able to say anything helpful if Seunghyuk needed kind words or an understanding ear. But when they had left Euiwoong behind somewhere near his house and they were standing at Minghao’s front gate, Seunghyuk brought it up himself. He didn’t vent or complain or ask for Minghao to take his side in some strange disturbance that Minghao couldn’t begin to understand.

Seunghyuk apologised, quietly and quickly, clutching one of Minghao’s hands between his own.

“I am in a bit of a strange mood today,” Seunghyuk said. “I will try to be better to you from tomorrow.”

“You are already good to me now.”

“Not good enough, though,” Seunghyuk said with a sad smile. “I am supposed to be helping you but instead I am letting silly things distract me. I’m just being silly. I will do a better job going forward. When I get inside I will call Euiwoong and apologise to him too.”

Seunghyuk’s strange mood had been obvious, and he was apologising for it now, but Minghao couldn’t ask about what was distracting him. Seunghyuk had only ever been kind and understanding but he wasn’t directly asking for someone to listen. Minghao could breathe a sigh of relief and mentally apologised for the fact that silently hoping for Seunghyuk to be able to deal with things was the best that he could do.

“Thank you for being with me today. And every day,” Minghao said quietly.

“You shouldn’t say things like that,” Seunghyuk said. “I’m just doing what any friend would. It’s nothing special.”

It certainly felt special but there was a finality in Seunghyuk’s tone that was useless to refute. Minghao swallowed the odd lump in his throat and said, “I hope you have sweet dreams tonight.”

“It is still the afternoon.”

“I know, but I still mean it.”

Seunghyuk shook his head. “I won’t. I won’t have sweet dreams unless you text me to tell me tonight. Will you text me?”

Minghao promised and winced at the force with which Seunghyuk ruffled his hair. He went inside and didn’t even bother to make up an excuse for coming home early when Eungi collared him the second after he walked through the front door.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is messy and bad but I hadn't even realised I had done such a poor job of 'planning' until I got to the (exceedingly unhelpful) notes for this chapter. But I needed to update and I eventually did even though this chapter didn't turn out at all how I had expected when I first made an attempt at it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin finally starts to notice that something is up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is choppy and time-skippy and everyone is weird for some reason.

Despite Zhengting’s wide smile, Minghao could tell that he wasn’t happy. Minghao would have been able to tell without being regaled with ‘The Ballad of Hong Eungi Having Other Friends And Responsibilities’, but Zhengting’s performance was an arduous one that Minghao had endured while dragging him out of bed that morning. It was difficult to say how much Seunghyuk knew seeing as he was simply smiling along as Yewon wrote ‘I love you’ in the condensation on everyone’s drinks and sundae glasses.

“Do you kids eat here often?” Zhengting asked, his smile already wavering.

“We seem to come here a lot,” Sungyeon confirmed as she scooped up a giant scoop of cherry ice cream into her mouth.

“Aren’t you all afraid of getting fat?” Zhengting asked sadly. “Ah, you’re all so young. I remember when I could eat to my heart’s content like this. Now my heart will only let me eat this much because it is empty.”

“Who are you talking to, Zheng-ge? People are only going to understand if you speak Korean,” Minghao said. He regretted agreeing with Seunghyuk that getting Zhengting out of the house might cheer him up.

“Korean?” Zhengting mused. “That’s how Eungi used to talk to me.”

“He still does, Zheng-ge, he will be back this evening,” Minghao sighed.

Siyeon had been watching the exchange quietly until now but Minghao’s exasperation must have been shared by the whole table because she sighed and pushed her untouched chocolate sundae across the table to Zhengting.

“Ahjusshi, looking at you is making it difficult for me to eat. If you don’t cheer up by the time you have finished that you will have to leave.”

“Ahjusshi?” Zhengting frowned down at the sundae that Siyeon had donated to him. Siyeon coolly raised her hand for the waiter to come over while Zhengting struggled to understand what was happening. “Am I old? Am I ruining everyone’s good time too? I do apologise.”

Siyeon wasn’t listening and was instead smiling up at the waiter who hadn't managed to evade their table even once today.

Minhyun’s first mistake of the day had been telling Seonho that he looked cute in glasses when he first came to take their order. Regret was seeping from every pore on his face as he looked down at Siyeon and pretended that Seonho’s arms weren’t clamped around his waist.

“What can I help you with?”

“Could I order another one of those chocolate sundaes, please?” Siyeon asked. Minghao wondered why she didn’t bother with the gratuitous mouthful of a name. It was not as though the waiter would be able to escape Seonho’s soliloquising (that everyone had decided to ignore) any sooner.

“What happened to your other one?” Minhyun asked. He looked, as directed, to Zhengting drearily digging into the sundae and sighed before asking, “What is the matter with him?”

“You never normally ask questions?” Yewon said, squinting suspiciously. “Are you starting to care about the people around our baby Seonho? Is he finally reaching your heart?”

Minghao would have loved to know when Seonho became Yewon’s baby, but he was slightly afraid of the answer.

“Noona, I have already reached his heart,” Seonho said with a serene smile. “He only pretends to be cold when I am with friends. Every time I have come here on my own he chats easily to me and once he even let me hug him goodbye.”

Seonho hadn’t asked but he was hugging Minhyun right now, so Minghao wondered what the difference was. He was still giving a hug regardless and Minghao doubted Minhyun reciprocated any more when he gave permission.

“How much ice cream do you eat?” Kyla asked as she stole a spoonful of Sungyeon’s ice cream.

“Only enough to make Minhyun-hyung love me,” Seonho said dreamily. He hadn’t quantified his answer well because Minghao couldn’t imagine any amount in the world being enough to achieve affection. Though the waiter wasn’t doing much to resist the grip around him aside from making a long-suffering expression as he looked down at the table. Minghao squinted. The expression might even have been forced and it begged the question of how often Seonho really did come to eat ice cream.

“Is there anything else with that?” Nobody else had anything to add to the order and it was simply a case of watching Minhyun pry Seonho’s hands away from his waist so that he could get back behind the counter to make Siyeon a new sundae.

Minghao had been lulled into a false sense of security by Zhengting's dramatics so as he savoured spoonfuls of pistachio ice cream he was caught entirely off guard by Yewon's question.

“Everyone here knows that you and Justin aren't really going out, so why are you still pretending, Seunghyuk?”

The question was distinctly different to drawing hearts and smiley faces. Even Sungyeon’s eyes boggled at that.

Seunghyuk stiffened momentarily before withdrawing the arm that was draped over Minghao’s shoulders (though Minghao was pleased that the hand on his thigh remained, even if the pressure was lighter) and he smiled awkwardly.

“Just in case someone from school sees us,” Seunghyuk eventually said.

“If anyone from school saw the two of you not being so touchy I think they would be relieved more than anything,” Kyla muttered.

“I think they're cute together,” Sungyeon said.

“But it is pretend, isn't it?” Yewon insisted.

Of course it was all pretend, but these days it was more comfortable to maintain physical contact. Even if Euiwoong wasn't around it was simpler to keep holding Seunghyuk's hand and resting on his shoulder because then there was nothing to worry about. The most pressing concern was how often people loudly mentioned that the relationship was fake because getting found out that way was bound to be difficult to get out of. Minghao supposed that Minhyun wouldn't tell anyone, but he still wished Yewon would keep her voice down.

Seunghyuk didn’t say anything either way and Minghao would at least like him to tell Yewon to shut her big mouth. She was cute so Minghao would feel bad for being rude and upsetting her, but surely if the words came from Seunghyuk, one of her peers that she seemed to like enough to needlessly get involved in his affairs, she might not mind so much. Minghao locked eyes with Seunghyuk and hoped that his telepathic message would get relayed to Yewon somehow. But it seemed that Seunghyuk was on a different wavelength and it was Zhengting who was receiving.

“Everything is fake,” Zhengting lamented into his sundae

“Ah, really! What is wrong with him?” Siyeon snapped. She rubbed her temples and glared at Zhengting. Minghao wondered whether this headache and short temper had anything to do with Siyeon being hemmed in against the wall by Sungyeon and Yewon and as far away from Kyla as possible. Regardless of the cause of Siyeon’s foul mood, it was still surprising that she was speaking so callously.

“He’s just very sad, Siyeon,” Sungyeon said. Her voice was calm but alarm was apparent in her eyes as the person closest to any lashing out that Siyeon might partake in.

“Be sad quietly.”

“Noona, why is that lady so scary?” Seonho quailed and Yewon reached across the table to squeeze his hand.

“Everything is going to be alright, baby. Noona will protect you.”

Seonho smiled widely but Siyeon’s expression grew darker. It was a dangerous situation and Minghao crossed his fingers that Siyeon wouldn’t explode by the time everyone got to finish their ice cream. Zhengting had already polished off one sundae but he was sad so it didn’t really count. Siyeon’s replacement sundae was yet to arrive so it would have been a shame for her to explode before she had a chance to properly enjoy her own ice cream.

Minhyun approached with caution and Minghao was impressed that he had such sense. He gave Siyeon the sundae quickly and informed her that it would be added to their table’s bill and could be paid at the counter whenever she was ready. At this, Minghao stopped being impressed and became disappointed with him. He was disappointed for Seonho too - the man he loved was about to die.

The look in Siyeon’s eyes was withering and Sungyeon shrank away into Yewon’s side which had the effect of nudging Yewon into Kyla and knocking her sundae off the table. The shattering of glass was muted by the splat of ice cream but it still made Minghao flinch.

“Are you alright?” Zhengting asked listlessly. It was difficult to tell who he was asking but Minghao spared him nothing more than a pat on the knee as all attention was drawn to Yewon clinging to Kyla, tears in her eyes and apologies stemming from her lips, as Minhyun rushed to fetch something to clean up the mess.

“Move,” Siyeon said as she reached to pick her bag up from under the table. “Unnie, I’m leaving.”

“Where are you going, Unnie?” Kyla asked, not standing despite the force of Sungyeon pushing at her and Yewon who were still impeding her escape.

“Home.”

“Why are you leaving?” Kyla tried, still not budging.

“I’ve had enough.”

Minghao decided he had been underestimating Siyeon because he had never expected her to crawl across the table in order to get past her obstacles. Minhyun arrived with a broom and a mop and a stunned expression as he watched Siyeon stomp out of the dessert shop.

“Are you going to go after her?” Zhengting asked quietly. “Eungi is always sad if I don’t go after him when he is upset. The mean girl must want someone to talk to privately.”

“Siyeon-unnie isn’t mean,” Kyla denied quickly before she stood up and gave chase.

Minghao frowned at Zhengting who was despondently stirring his spoon through the melting chocolate ice cream. He and Seonho, who had happily snatched at the desserts that Kyla and Siyeon had left behind and added them to his huddle of desserts he had already ordered for himself, were the only ones who were more focused on the food than the two people who had left. But Minghao didn’t get it.

“What are you talking about? When is he ever upset?” Minghao muttered. Seunghyuk’s attention had been caught but he didn’t get any more involved as he turned away and arbitrarily offered his assistance cleaning up the mess. Zhengting, on the other hand, didn’t look particularly interested in Minghao’s question. “Zheng-ge, I asked you a question. When do you have to chase after Eungi-ge? You never fight with him.”

“Sometimes we fight about how he leaves me all the time even though everything would be better if he stayed with me forever.”

“He has friends and a part-time job,” Minghao said

“He doesn’t need to work though. I would buy him anything he wants in the world. I will do it right now,” Zhengting said decisively. He pulled his phone out of the expensive clutch bag that Minghao had taken hostage as part of his bargaining to coax him out of his bedroom this morning. “I am going to call Eungi and tell him I will buy him everything in the world.”

That sounded like a terrible idea so Minghao was relieved that all it took to derail the plan was to pluck the phone from between Zhengting’s fingers.

“Seunyukkie-hyung,” keep this safe for me,” Minghao said as he passed the phone over. Seunghyuk smiled brightly as he slid the phone into his pocket and he apologised to Zhengting for the minor theft.

“Seunyukkie?”

Seunghyuk flinched and pretended not to blush at Minhyun who was peering up at the table. He ducked his head away from the attention and apologised for interrupting.

“I thought it was strange too, Hyung,” Seonho assured. He rubbed Minhyun’s shoulder and Minghao was interested to see how Minhyun didn’t put on any airs of repulsion. Seonho levelled a stare at Minghao, sly, and he said, “That’s a cute nickname, Justin. Does Boyfriend-hyung have a nickname for you?”

Minghao ignored the insistent whines of his name from Zhengting and concentrated on being cool as a cucumber. It was cuter to call Seunghyuk ‘Seunyukkie’ and Minghao liked it that way. Seunghyuk said he liked the nickname too and when Minghao had first used it on a sleepy evening while they were watching films and he had turned smiley and giggly enough that they gave up on watching anything. Minghao didn’t have a nickname as such - though he did end up feeling a bit shy every time Seunghyuk shortened his name - so there was no reason for his face to feel hot as more and more eyes were on him.

“Is it any of your business?”

“It is so strange that this is where you say something is no-one’s business,” Yewon said. “Everything else has been everyone’s business until now.”

“Yewon, don’t say it like that,” Seunghyuk said quietly. “We have only been asking for help.”

“I don’t think any of us have done anything to help though,” Sungyeon said uncertainly.

“I have,” Seonho said proudly. “This was all my idea.”

“So this is your fault?” Minhyun clarified.

“Hyung, why are you saying that like it is a bad thing? It is because of me that Justin is going to get his man,” Seonho said, slightly less proud.

For someone who was cleaning smashed glass and ice cream from the floor, Minhyun looked oddly smug. Minghao didn’t like being looked at like that and he had enough dignity to want to save it from the judgement of strangers. He paid no mind to Yewon asking Sungyeon whether or not Seunghyuk and Minghao’s relationship was fake and passed Zhengting back his phone. Sungyeon didn’t even have time to comment on Minghao putting his hand in Seunghyuk’s back pocket before Zhengting was calling Eungi and demanding he return home immediately so that he can help to spend ridiculous amounts of money. It was as good a distraction as any.

 

 

 

Zhengting had been in much higher spirits since spending an entire week glued to Eungi’s side and offering to buy him everything his eyes so much as landed on. There wasn’t much difference between Zhengting’s sadness and happiness because symptoms of both moods included being loudly dramatic and spending far too much money. Whereas Zhengting’s sadness had been enough of an excuse to buy copious amounts of ice cream, his happiness was enough to gather up a group so that he had an excuse to get drunk outdoors with chaperones who were too young to get as drunk as he would.

Hyungseob was a surprise addition to the group considering his recent moods, but he was sticking with Euiwoong so Minghao didn’t have to bother so much with caring about his bad mood. Unsurprisingly, Zhengting was wrapped around Eungi and sharing sips of a drink that kept being offered to Minghao for some reason. Minghao wasn’t stupid, he wasn’t going to get caught drinking alcohol outdoors under the worst supervision imaginable.

The afternoon had been nice enough (they were relaxing and not doing much of anything) and Zhengting had supplied everyone with enough ice lollies that Minghao didn’t need to worry that all of Zhengting’s money had been spent on convincing Eungi to never leave the house again.

The summer was already winding down to a close and Minghao had a stack of homework that he was avoiding. He had lied to his mum and told her that he was keeping on top of things so he had evaded that scolding and found himself disappointed that Zhengting hadn’t even asked whether Minghao had opened a school book in the past month. But this was no time to think about what Minghao should have been doing.

Everyone was lazing around after a liquid picnic and this was much better than worrying about homework.

Minghao was comfortable, but he was bored. Lying on a picnic blanket and staring upwards as the setting sun leached blistering lethargy from the sky was not as fun as it had first sounded now that it had gone on for hours. By now, deeper hues were staining the sky and pushing back against the brighter golds and pinks that didn't yet want to follow the sun. The inactivity of resting his head on Seunghyuk's lap, and the gentle way Seunghyuk twirled Minghao’s hair between his fingers, was pushing leaden exhaustion into his limbs.

Falling asleep now and having everyone else huff and sigh as they struggled to wake Minghao would be neither sophisticated nor alluring. Euiwoong wouldn't feel his heart squeezing in his chest, longing clawing at his throat with the need to confess and claim Minghao as his own - not if he had to witness Minghao blearily sulking until the drunks (Zhengting and Eungi, of course) left him alone. Minghao barely managed to tolerate Zhengting and Eungi once they slid on the spectrum past tipsy and merry when he had the faculties to look after them. When Minghao was grumpy and half-asleep, he couldn't stand being near his fake parents. There was a small but very real chance that Minghao would cry and embarrass himself if made to deal with Zhengting in Eungi while they were drunk and he was tired. There was no way that Minghao could let Euiwoong see that.

Minghao needed to wake himself up. But he was just so comfortable. It would be a shame to move right away. It was much easier to get Seunghyuk to help with this too. Minghao was already asking for a lot from him so there was no point in being shy about tricking him into helping out now.

“Hyung,” Minghao said. His voice already sounded like he had been sleeping. Even when he tried again his voice was cracked and low. Seunghyuk peered down at Minghao with a wan smile.

“What is it, Stinnie?” Seunghyuk asked. He sounded wide awake. Minghao wished he had been more sensible than to lie down. He should have stayed sitting up with Seunghyuk and slung his arms around solid shoulders and flirted loudly, and obnoxiously.

“I have something to tell you,” Minghao said.

“You can tell me anything,” Seunghyuk said. His fingers drew infinite loops over the skin behind Minghao’s ear.

“It's a secret, Seunyukkie-hyung. You have to come closer. Closer than that, Hyung. Oppa, closer.”

Seunghyuk's eyes widened in alarm at being called oppa, but he obliged and hunched over until they were nose to nose. Minghao curled an arm over the back of Seunghyuk's neck and his hand curled at the heat of Seunghyuk's nape. Minghao’s eyes couldn't focus properly but he could make out the rapid shifting of Seunghyuk's pupils, the flare of Seunghyuk's nostrils, the parting of Seunghyuk's lips, the bated breath between them.

“Minghao?” Seunghyuk whispered

Minghao had to twist his neck uncomfortably in order to align their faces better. His tongue wet his lips just slightly. His chest swelled with anticipation. He slowly parted his lips. And burped.

Seunghyuk shrieked as he shoved Minghao from his lap and dug his fingers into Minghao’s ribs. Perhaps tiredness had made Minghao more sensitive, because he couldn't remember being this ticklish before. He jerked and twisted away, but Seunghyuk was relentless as he jabbed his fingers at Minghao’s sides and clambered on top of him.

“What did you do? What did you just do to me?” Seunghyuk demanded.

“I'm sorry!” Minghao managed to wheeze. He really couldn't answer questions while he was curling in on himself in a shoddy defence.

“What for? What did you do?” Seunghyuk yelled, his interrogation punctuated with increasingly violent tickles. “I am talking to you Huang Minghao! Speak!”

Minghao could barely breathe, and it took him several attempts to reply, “I burped. In your face.”

Seunghyuk finally relented and squished Minghao’s cheeks. “That was really gross. I can't believe you burped in my face.”

Seunghyuk could say what he wanted about how gross it was but he was smiling as he pulled Minghao to sit up properly. Minghao felt more awake now and it didn’t feel so dangerous to tip his head onto Seunghyuk’s shoulder.

“Are you quite done?” Hyungseob asked.

Hyungseob and Euiwoong’s picnic blanket was the furthest from Minghao’s but they were both looking over, unimpressed. They made quite a different picture to Eungi and Zhengting who were giggling.

“What do you mean?” Seunghyuk asked, his hand moving to move Minghao’s hair out of his face.

“You’re being gross,” Hyungseob grumbled.

“Don’t you think it was cute?” Eungi asked. “I think they’re cute.”

“I suppose it depends how you interpret it,” Euiwoong said diplomatically. He was smiling, but it was clearly the smile he used when trying to get adults to think he was grown up and responsible. It was similar to the smile which had made Minghao feel like relying on him would be enough. Seeing it now was unsettling more than anything. There was something that he wasn’t saying. But there was no point in dwelling on that.

“Hyung, we’re cute, aren’t we?” Minghao asked. Seunghyuk smiled at the question and laced their fingers together.

“That’s right Stinnie, we’re cute.”

 

 

 

It was an evening a week later that Minghao wondered whether they were too cute as a pair.

He wasn’t the only one who had leaned in. Seunghyuk looked just as dazed as he leaned back, blinking confusion out of his eyes. He dropped his hands, shoved Minghao away to put some more space between them, and Minghao felt cold. The summer evenings were getting more and more comfortable with each night that Minghao would spend with layers that Seunghyuk draped over him. With Seunghyuk’s hands no longer at Minghao’s back he felt himself shivering.

There was barely a difference in Minghao and Seunghyuk’s heights, but at that moment it felt as though Minghao had to tilt his head so far up to meet his gaze. Seunghyuk was looking up at a point over Minghao’s head and even when Minghao rose to his tiptoes, Seunghyuk turned his head away.

“I need to go,” Seunghyuk said. “My parents will be wondering where I am.”

Minghao doubted that very much. These days Seunghyuk was always with Minghao and it was no secret. They were only next door and Seunghyuk didn’t have a curfew as such. Minghao didn’t know why he needed to justify staying a bit longer now. Seunghyuk was already going to go home anyway, but Minghao needed him to stay for just a minute or two longer.

Seunghyuk didn’t. He left, winding around Minghao and slipping through the gate.

Minghao listened until Seunghyuk’s footsteps were indistinguishable from the leaves rustled by the wind and distant whooshing of cars.

They almost kissed. And Minghao wouldn’t have minded at all if it happened. In fact, he wished they had kissed.

It was a sign, if Minghao needed anything as ridiculously obvious, that this had gone on for too long. He had been enjoying things for far too long, just playing pretend with Seunghyuk and finding out how much he would enjoy being a half of something. But it was strange that he was becoming this attached to Seunghyuk’s constant presence.

Minghao returned inside and walked right into Eungi.

“Justin, why are you shivering?” Eungi asked. As he pulled Minghao into his arms. It was contact that Minghao should have appreciated, but it wasn’t the right sort of warmth. “You should have worn a jacket.”

“Sorry, Hyung,” Minghao managed to say through the juddering of his chattering teeth. It hadn’t even been that cold, but Minghao’s arms were covered in tiny goosebumps and he pressed closer to the scant warmth that Eungi was providing.

“Just because it is summer it doesn’t mean that you can gallivant about, barely clothed.”

“I’m wearing clothes,” Minghao said. He was in more control of his jaw now. He didn’t feel much warmer but he could force his body to relax enough that he could pretend to be thawing.

“Go and take a shower. Try to warm yourself up,” Eungi said.

“I will, Hyung.”

Minghao sprinted up the stairs, but it wasn’t to take a shower. He roughly pulled a jumper over his head and ignored Eungi yelling to Zhengting that he was being responsible and taking care of Minghao.

Minghao turned to look at his bed. There hadn’t seemed to be anything strange when he and Seunghyuk were curled up together on the bed and listening to music through shared headphones as they planned future ‘dates’. It had been difficult for Minghao not to drift all the way to sleep with his head on Seunghyuk’s chest, but even then he didn’t think that was the reason things had felt so normal.

It wasn’t long after he started pretending to go out with Seunghyuk that Minghao noticed all the strange spaces that were forming between their friendship group. Hyungseob wasn’t the same. He had a shorter temper and he was hardly ever smiling in the same ways that he used to. He was a lot more controlled about exhibiting any cheer and a lot freer with his irritation. Even Euiwoong was different, but surely that meant the plan was working. He must have been jealous, or nursing some guilt over the fact that he liked Minghao, even!

Before things turned too strange it was time to confess to Euiwooong and restore a semblance of normality. He wasn't entirely certain that it was completely possible to go back to normal. Minghao needed to talk to somebody about the thing that had happened with Seunghyuk. He needed someone removed from the situation who might be able to rationalise it for him before he resolved things with Euiwoong.

Minghao sat on the bed, just beside the spot that Seunghyuk had occupied earlier, and held his breath as he dialled Samuel’s number.

“Yeah?” Samuel answered. Minghao hesitated for long enough that Samuel asked whether he was victim of a butt-dial.

“Sorry, Muel,” Minghao said. His voice sounded strange and he kneeled up in his bed to view the mirror next to his bedroom door. He was smiling. Minghao quickly sat down and tried to school his features into a more serious expression. He was about to have a serious conversation. “It's me, Justin. I need to talk to you about something. Are you busy?”

“Not really,” Samuel said. “What can I do for you?”

“I'm having a bit of an issue with Seunghyuk-hyung.”

“Did he tell you he wants to fake break up? I don't think it is a problem if he did.”

That gave Minghao pause. It would definitely be a problem if seunghyuk backed out of the plan at this late stage. It wouldn’t be too much of an issue if they planned it out properly to make Euiwoong pity Minghao and take the chance that was in front of him, but it wasn’t the case at all. What was odd was how hopeful Samuel sounded about his suggestion.

“He does not want to fake break up,” Minghao huffed. “It is just that things are turning strange. We nearly kissed today.”

Samuel groaned loudly. “Justin, I am going to be honest with you right now. It seems like nobody has said this to you before but I just do not care. I don’t care and neither does anybody else. You and your stupid boyfriend problems were funny at first, but it has been months and I am sick and tired of it. I don’t want you to talk to me about this rubbish anymore.”

That was not at all what Minghao expected.  

“Sorry,” Minghao muttered.

“Do you have anything interesting to talk about?” Samuel asked.

“I just needed to talk to somebody about what is happening with Seunghyuk-hyung.”

“I guess I will see you at school,” Samuel said.

Minghao didn’t know why he was so surprised. Just the same as Hyungseob, Samuel had seemed further away recently. It should have been obvious that Samuel wasn’t interested. In the beginning he had been fine with talking out Minghao’s problems and had been helpful, but lately he was busy and kept putting off plans to meet up with everyone over the summer. His interest was gone and Minghao supposed he might feel the same way if one of his friends was taking so long to solve a problem that was the main thing they talked about.

Samuel didn’t want to talk about it but Minghao needed to talk to somebody. The moment was still fresh and he needed to know whether or not he was reading into things too much.

Kyla seemed to have a certain level of insight. Rather than that she couldn’t keep her nose out of Minghao’s business so he supposed she was the best person to turn to for help. Even if she was going to be mean to Minghao, she was the most likely to be receptive to the conversation.

Kyla answered the call on the second ring and Minghao didn’t have too long to ponder the shape of the imprint in his bed sheets for any longer than that.

“Justin? You don’t normally call me.”

“I know,” Minghao said. “Is it alright for me to talk to you, Kyla? It’s about Seunghyuk-hyung.”

For a moment, Minghao was afraid that the scuffling sound would end in a rejection but Kyla told him that she had to put him on speaker-phone. Siyeon was with her, apparently having her hair braided or something equally as unrealistic. Aside from the odd text, Minghao hadn’t spoken with Kyla since she had chased after Siyeon’s disgruntled exit from the dessert shop. The messages they had exchanged had no substance to them and Minghao was sure that he was asking too much from the phone call. But Kyla sounded happy enough and even Siyeon’s voice was bright as she greeted him.

“Are you still having problems?” Siyeon asked. It sounded as though she was laughing and Minghao supposed that was better than other reactions. He remembered when he first met Siyeon and had been terrified of the fervour in her eyes and the vague threat to his existence due to the fact that he liked her ex-boyfriend. This smile that he could hear was splendid after the disappointment of Samuel not caring.

“I think things are getting mixed up,” Minghao said slowly. Siyeon hummed and waited. Minghao didn’t like his reluctance now. He had been so eager to talk to Samuel but now his tongue was sticking to the roof of his mouth and he kept thinking about how the looseness of his lips had previously led to a line almost being crossed.

Minghao pulled at the duvet and watched the visible traces of Seunghyuk’s presence disappear with the tautness. It didn’t change anything. They had almost kissed.

“Today I almost kissed Seunghyuk.”

On the other end of the line, Siyeon yelped and Kyla’s voice was loud and tight. “You kissed him?”

“Almost. I almost kissed him.”

“How do you feel about that?” Siyeon asked. “Are you happy that it could have happened? Did you want to kiss him?”

Minghao hesitated. He didn’t know whether he felt bad for his surface emotions on the matter. All this was because he liked Euiwoong, yet he had betrayed himself so easily.

“I think I did want to kiss him,” Minghao admitted. “I don’t know what to do.”

“What about Euiwoong? Do you still like him, Justin?”

“Noona, what should I do?” Minghao asked. It was as much of an admission as anything else Minghao could have said. He heard Siyeon and Kyla talking to each other, nothing distinct, just snatches of words that Minghao struggled to piece together. It was Kyla who tried next.

“Justin,” She said slowly. “You need to think really carefully about what is happening. We all know the reason that you started this, but you need to think about what you want out of this. Feelings change and you should consider whether or not you continue with your first goal or realise that there is something better for you. Seunghyuk-oppa is already within your grasp. You are really good together. I think you know what the right choice is.”

“You’re too much,” Siyeon said quickly. “Justin needs to make up his own mind. If you still want to go after Euiwoong, nobody is going to hate you.”

“I didn’t think anybody was going to hate me.”

“Good,” Siyeon said brightly. “Then you already know that there is nothing to worry about!”

“What about other people who might get their feelings hurt?” Kyla asked.

“Did Seunghyuk-oppa seem like he wanted to kiss you back?” Siyeon asked.

“How did it happen? Why did you almost kiss?” Kyla asked before Minghao even had a chance to process Siyeon’s question.

“We had been the same as usual all day.” Minghao ignored the comment about how their ‘usual’ wasn’t exactly the normal boundary for friends. “We’d had a good time and then Seunghyuk-hyung was going home. I walked him to my front door but then he said he was going to miss me too much, so I walked him to the front gate. And then we hugged, just like we always do. And then we moved a bit? We were hugging but then our mouths were almost touching. And then he suddenly looked surprised and pushed me away and he left.”

“That sounds strange,” Siyeon said cryptically.

“How would you react if you were about to kiss the person you loved? I mean, if they constantly talked about being in love with someone else,” Kyla said.

“Are you talking about me?” Minghao asked. He didn’t quite get it.

“Forget that for a minute,” Siyeon said decisively. “I think you should end this thing with Seunghyuk-oppa. Regardless of your feelings or his, your relationship is getting muddled. You almost kissed, Justin. It isn’t a good idea to be in a complicated situation when you aren’t sure what to do.”

That was much clearer. But Minghao wasn’t sure how ready he was for that. He liked how things were, he was fine with things how they were. It was scary to change things when it had taken so much to reach this point. But Siyeon was right about the situation getting muddled. It was different to how Minghao imagined it, but he had never minded. All of a sudden he was almost kissing Seunghyuk and it was all changing whether Minghao wanted it to or not.

He knew what Siyeon was probably telling him but he wanted to hear it more certainly. So he asked what he should do and Kyla sighed as Siyeon said, “Dump oppa and confess to Euiwoong.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay updates are taking a loooooong time, but I'm getting there!! Sort of!!! And as a distraction from how flaky I am revealing myself to be, let's all appreciate [Sunmi](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur0hCdne2-s) and [Pristin](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmOrajGkbPY)'s comebacks which are astounding!!!!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin's life turns bad

It was the day before returning to school after the holidays that Minghao told Seunghyuk that they were no longer pretending to go out. Minghao had spent a few days wondering how to go about it. It wasn’t real but Minghao thought it should still be addressed with a level of sensitivity. He tried to be kind about it as he spoke, hoping that the words he had chosen were right.

He had never felt so awkward about sitting in Seunghyuk’s room before, but he had never had to attempt to dump him before. He had spent a week of daily visits making a new friend when he first moved to Korea, but the initial uncertainty of being in a stranger’s room faded quickly with every assurance from Seunghyuk that Minghao didn’t have a weird accent, or that he didn’t mind hanging out with someone younger than him, or that it wasn’t boring to spend time with him, and that his other friends were going to love Minghao. Like that week had never happened, Minghao sat stiffly on the floor and apologised after every few words as he vaguely said that this seemed to be the best timing to end things.

“Alright,” Seunghyuk said.

And that was that. Seunghyuk smiled the way he always had and asked if Minghao wanted to stay to watch a film. Minghao didn’t want to watch a film. He wanted to know whether he had imagined the fact that they had almost kissed. In fact, he wondered whether he had imagined the entire fake relationship. There was nothing to suggest that Seunghyuk cared at all and Minghao had obviously been thinking too much of the closeness. He was just being silly because he really wanted Euiwoong to go out with him. All this playing make-believe was muddling Minghao and he was getting worried for no reason.

Minghao decided to leave instead of watching a film. Seunghyuk shrugged and offered no other form of farewell.

It was difficult to tell whether things were the way they should have been or they were all wrong. Even the short walk to his house next door seemed strange. He should have been able to take each step more easily, because he should have been far too happy to drag his feet. Everything was strange enough for Minghao to know that he had to take a moment before letting himself into the house. He needed to quickly work out what was normal and step into that. He needed to get a grip before he confessed to Euiwoong.

It would be so easy to mess things up if he was confused about whether or not things were how he misremembered them. He took a deep breath. He opened the front door. Within seconds were the same arms as usual around him.

“Justin, you’re back early!” Zhengting crowed gleefully. “You left a minute ago! Are you staying?”

“I am,” Minghao confirmed. Zhengting tightened his grip enough that Eungi saw fit to extract Minghao from his arms and pull him into a less injuring hold.

“Why are you back? Was Seunghyuk busy?” Eungi asked.

“He said he had homework to do,” Minghao lied. “It was a short visit. We broke up.”

Eungi suddenly developed the same disregard for Minghao’s internal organs that Zhengting had and his brow furrowed. “Are you alright? We were going out to eat, but we can stay in if you don’t want to come out with us.”

“You can still go out if you’d like,” Minghao said. “It isn’t real, remember.”

“I know that,” Eungi said. He smoothed down Minghao’s hair and Minghao was annoyed at himself for flinching away from the touch. Eungi slowly moved his hands away from Minghao and took a step back. Minghao hadn’t meant to react so strangely. He hadn’t meant to make Eungi look so crestfallen. Eungi had been nothing but nice to Minghao and he didn’t deserve Minghao getting so strange over having his hair touched.

“Hyung, I’m sorry.”

Eungi shook his head and smiled. “Don’t be silly, you have nothing to apologise for. We can stay in tonight.”

“Eungi, I want to eat at a restaurant,” Zhengting whined.

“Not today, Hyung,” Eungi said. He clasped his hand with Zhengting’s and smiled in the softly indulgent way that had Zhengting doing ridiculous things like offering to buy him a yacht even though neither of them had expressed an interest in sailing before. It was a weekend that Minghao was glad to avoid by eating ice cream and watching Seonho try to convince everyone that Minhyun had given him his phone number. Eungi had to be careful with that smile because Zhengting was already bumbling his way through offering to buy a restaurant for him.

Minghao was impressed by Eungi’s lack of awareness for the situation and how easily he could tell Zhengting that it was a funny joke but they could start with pizza. Zhengting pouted and grumbled but Eungi was ignoring that in favour of steering Minghao to the living room. Minghao decided it was for the best to ignore the sulking too.

It was easy enough to ignore what he was around so often, but it was an altogether more difficult task to work out how to act when it was time to go back to school.  

Seunghyuk was the first person Minghao saw on his way to school every morning. They even lived next door so Minghao only had seconds after leaving the house to try to work out how to act. He realised when their eyes met that he needed more seconds than he had. He was greeted with the same smile as always. Minghao had definitely been over thinking things. He was worrying over nothing and he only felt more ridiculous for that fact.

“Good morning, Justin,” Seunghyuk said. at this point he would usually have held out his hand to be held but his hands were securely in his pockets. It was silly to notice these things. It didn't matter. Minghao shouldn't have been missing this routine when he was going to confess his feelings to Euiwoong.

“Morning, Hyung. Did you sleep well?”

“I did, thank you,” Seunghyuk said. He didn't return the question and Minghao didn't feel like giving his own answer without being prompted. The mood didn't seem quite right for that, though this was probably just another atmosphere that was imagined.

It wasn't quite normal as they walked together even though Minghao tried to tell himself that it was. It was awkward and uncomfortable and Minghao selfishly wanted to hear that Seunghyuk already missed holding his hand. He at least wanted to know that they really had almost kissed.

Hyungseob was waiting outside his house for them and his eyes instantly zeroed in on the space between them.

“You two are strange today,” Hyungseob said.

“We are,” Seunghyuk confirmed. Minghao didn't appreciate that Seunghyuk would have said as much to Hyungseob without sparing a word for Minghao but it hardly seemed the time to complain. He was already being too silly about things and it was better to leave things in Seunghyuk's hands.

Seunghyuk was content to talk about homework with Hyungseob, the both of them easily lapsing into complaints about their workload in the last year of school. Minghao drifted a few steps behind. It was better to leave the others to their conversation until Euiwoong finally joined the group.

Euiwoong smiled at all of them. He was in much higher spirits than the last few times Minghao had seen him.

“Good morning, Hyung,” Minghao said quickly.

“Morning. Are you excited for school today?” Euiwoong asked. Minghao wasn't particularly looking forward to it. He had forgotten about the strange conversation he had with Samuel and only now wondered whether things would be weird when they were face to face. Minghao replied vaguely and laughed lightly when Euiwoong said that Minghao was supposed to make the most of his youth by enjoying school.

Minghao was trying his best. He was going to enjoy his youth with Euiwoong by his side.

Euiwoong waited until they were almost at school before he asked what was different between Minghao and Seunghyuk. Minghao hesitated. Seunghyuk shrugged.

“We broke up.”

“What?” Hyungseob’s exclamation was far louder than Euiwoong’s response.

Euiwoong looked between Minghao and Seunghyuk, his smile fading with the shifting of his gaze. “What happened?”

“When did this happen? Why didn't you tell me?” Hyungseob asked as he shook Seunghyuk's arm.

“Why do you care?” Seunghyuk asked with a smile.

“Because you're my friend,” Hyungseob insisted. “You need to tell me these things because I care about you! Is everything alright? Are you heartbroken?”

Hyungseob went on loudly saying all sorts of things about how he would help Seunghyuk get over Minghao while Euiwoong cast uncertain glances at everyone.

“How are you? Are you heartbroken?”

Minghao wasn't sure how to answer that question. He wasn't as excited to confess as he thought he would be. He was still confused about what he was imagining and what was real. He wasn't ready. He was going to do as Siyeon said but he wasn't ready.

He shrugged. It was better to keep his mouth shut.

“If you need to talk, you can come to me or Hyungseob,” Euiwoong said. The words came with a kind smile but Minghao wasn't about to jump on that offer. He doubted Hyungseob would be receptive to whatever he had to say.

“Thanks, Hyung, I appreciate it,” Minghao said.

As expected, things were strange in his lessons. While Samuel was being louder than usual as though it would disguise the fact that he wasn’t speaking directly to Minghao, Kyla kept sending him reproachful looks. During the morning break, Minghao excused himself from Seonho’s coercion to download a selfie app and he went to talk to Kyla. She looked surprised that all of her curiosity had been answered with a visit.

“Justin, hi,” She said.

“You keep looking at me,” Minghao said.

“Sorry.”

Minghao shook his head. He hadn’t meant it was strange. It was strange, but everything was strange at the moment. This was something he hoped that he didn’t have to mind too much. He sat beside her and ignored Samuel overreacting to something that didn’t warrant his hands being thrown in the air and an ‘Oh my God’ that could have been heard three classrooms away.

All of a sudden Minghao was losing friends and he didn’t know what he was supposed to do about that.

“Kyla, are you worrying about me?” Minghao asked. Whatever his relationship with Kyla was, it hadn’t degraded. They were even closer that Minghao had imagined they could have been. They still weren’t the best of friends, but Kyla wasn’t as mean to him as she had initially seemed. She looked as though she had been accused of much worse than caring about someone, so Minghao wasn’t going to get ahead of himself and think that she actually liked him. But she nodded.

“I am worried about you,” she confirmed quietly. “I wish you had never tried this plan.”

“Why?”

Kyla scoffed. “Do you really need to ask? I was worried about you long before that phone call. And you have been distracted all day.”

“It is still morning,” Minghao grumbled. “How can you tell?”

Kyla didn't answer immediately. She rolled her lips and fiddled with the pen on her desk before she said, “I saw you arrive at school this morning. You already did it? You already broke up with Seunghyuk-oppa?”

“Yes.”

“Justin, can you tell me honestly what you feel for him?” Minghao opened his mouth to reply but she stopped him quickly with a wave of her hands. “I don't want to hear all this rubbish about him being a good hyung who looks out for you. You won't lose anything by telling me. I'm simply curious.”

“You're not going to tell me off?” Minghao clarified. Kyla smiled. At least he didn't have to worry about that. “I wish I didn't have to break up with him. It only happened yesterday but I already miss how things were.”

Kyla stopped herself from speaking and settled for a sympathetic smile as she patted Minghao’s hand. It was good to know that Kyla could barely keep a promise even when she was being nice.

 

 

The walk home was somehow worse than the walk to school that morning. Admitting to Kyla that he missed Seunghyuk had been a mistake. He had already struggled when ignoring how different things would become. Now that he had vocalised his regret at imminent changes, he hadn't been able to clear enough room in his mind to think about anything else.

The voices of his teachers had woven through daydreams of hands that didn't quite reach his own, secretive smiles that used to belong to him, almost instances that he couldn't help hoping for. They had almost kissed. Minghao was certain of it if only for a few moments before he realised the teacher had asked him a question.

The longer he had his thoughts, the more pungent they became, just a wisp enough to distract Minghao entirely from whatever he was pretending to concentrate on. It had only been a day and already he was struggling to function. He needed to hurry.

Hyungseob was in higher spirits than had become the recent norm and he was practically skipping circles around Seunghyuk as he did impressions of the teacher who kept telling him off. Minghao wanted to tell Hyungseob off too if it was true about him chatting loudly to his classmates and then being unable to string two words together when called on by the teacher. Minghao kept his mouth shut instead. It was better to keep to himself and practice recalling Korean vocabulary so that he didn't have to pay so much attention to the loneliness of his palms.

It was difficult to stay focused on the task and Minghao found himself offering plastic smiles to the furtive glances Euiwoong spared him between bouts of gregarious commentary on Hyungseob’s terrible impressions.

Right as Euiwoong was about to split from the pack, Minghao grabbed his hand.

“Justin, is everything alright?” Euiwoong asked, only frowning slightly. Seunghyuk and Hyungseob had stopped to wait for Minghao to catch up after offering one-armed hugs to Euiwoong. The rhythm of their journey home was supposed to stay the same, everyone saying their goodbyes in order and nobody doing anything strange. But nothing was the same and Minghao had to do what he could to at least take the steps that would make things different in a way that didn’t feel so bitter.

“Hyung, can I talk to you?”

Seunghyuk turned on his heel and Hyungseob scurried after him. “Choi Seunghyuk, don’t leave me behind!”

Euiwoong’s face was set with tension. He looked down at their linked hands and nodded.

The walk to Euiwoong’s house was quiet. Minghao didn’t have anything that he wanted to say yet. He had something that he needed to say but coming out with it on the street wouldn’t be good enough. Euiwoong didn’t even try to start up light conversation which he normally used to fill the gaps in denser moods. Minghao didn’t mind at all. He didn’t want to get derailed by having to engage in something that could dissuade him from the talk he needed to have.

Euiwoong smiled as he gestured for Minghao to take a seat when they got to his bedroom. He set down his tray with a jug of fruit cordial and some glasses on a small table in the corner of his room. He was a really cool person. Minghao wished he could be so gracious as a host. Whenever guests came to Minghao’s place they had to deal with Zhengting bursting into his room and begging him to cook. If the guest was Seunghyuk they would help out wherever they could during the multiple times Zhengting summoned them to the kitchen, but if the guest was Seonho he would join in the whining until food was portioned up in front of him.

There was nothing out of place in Euiwoong’s room and Minghao was entirely unsurprised. Everything was organised and orderly; books lined up on the shelves above Euiwoong’s desk, desk lamp angled to perfectly shed light on his notebooks, placed around the low table in the corner were colourful cushions, and his bedding was completely creaseless. The door to Euiwoong’s wardrobe was opened a crack and Minghao could see the colour-coordinated blocks that his clothes were organised in.

“Excuse the mess,” Euiwoong said, smile slipping slightly as he rushed to close the wardrobe. Minghao looked about as he sat down on one of the cushions around the small table. Maybe Euiwoong wasn’t talking about a mess and he was saying something that only sounded similar. Minghao couldn’t for the life of him think what it could have been.

Euiwoong sat on the cushion to Minghao’s right and the smile was back as he poured cordial into the glasses. He pushed one towards Minghao who took a small sip and smiled.

“Thank you,” He said, feeling awkwardly formal about the whole thing. It was strange being in this room.

For months he had wondered what it would be like to enter Euiwoong’s room but he was mostly disappointed that it was exactly how he imagined it. It was too well organised and devoid of personality.

“What was it that you wanted to talk about, Justin?” Euiwoong asked pleasantly. Minghao couldn’t work out the feeling behind the smile and he wondered whether it was simply a tactic to make him feel more comfortable than he had when they were outside and Seunghyuk was pretending Minghao out of existence.

Minghao swallowed the thickness on his tongue. He took another sip of his drink, but the sip turned into a gulp and before he realised he had drained the glass. The decision to speak to Euiwoong had been made on the spur of the moment but it didn’t mean he should back out so easily. He wiped at his mouth and wished that the peach cordial hadn’t been so sweet. His teeth were coated in a film of sugar and he couldn’t stop thinking about that as he hesitated.

“Hyung,” Minghao said. His teeth hurt already but he had to seep going. “For a while now I have liked you.”

“I’m sorry?” Euiwoong asked. His smile was slipping. Minghao didn’t want to look too closely at that and focused on gliding his nail through the condensation melting on his empty glass.

“I like you, Hyung, the same way a person likes a boyfriend.”

The silence should have been telling enough but Minghao hazarded a glance up at Euiwoong. He cleared his throat and licked at dry lips. His hands scratched at the nape of his neck before he seemed to think better of wiping his palms on the tops of his thighs. Minghao had never seen Euiwoong fidget so much. Minghao did this. Minghao made Euiwoong this uncomfortable. It wasn’t a nice feeling to realise this.

Minghao really did like Euiwoong. He had hearts in his eyes and stars burst from his chest each time he thought about Euiwooong. He wanted Euiwoong to feel the same way and hold his hand and go on dates that were infinitely more saccharine than the drink that was rotting Minghao’s teeth.

“What do you mean?” Euiwoong finally asked.

“I like you. Do you understand?”

Euiwoong made a light sound that had midway between a chuckle and a cough. “I don’t understand. What about Seunghyuk-hyung? Why would you say something like this to me when you have Seunghyuk-hyung?”

That would sound strange, Minghao supposed, if one didn’t know the whole situation. Though things were difficult and confusing even for Minghao and he did know the situation. Minghao and Seunghyuk had done far too good a job of pretending and now Minghao was missing the parts of himself that belonged to the pretence. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise that it had eventually felt genuine when they had done their best to cultivate the atmosphere. But now Minghao’s hands ached from their emptiness, and his back itched for the soothing heat of Seunghyuk’s touch, and his cheek stung from the lingering atoms that Seunghyuk left behind with the kiss from before, and his lips burned from the soft exhale from Seunghyuk that never became anything more.

They had almost kissed. Minghao and Seunghyuk had almost kissed. Nothing had seemed strange about the moments leading up to it until their lips were a breath away and Seunghyuk’s eyes had boggled. Even now Minghao wasn’t certain that his chest was aching more from the hands that had shoved him by the chest or the stuffiness of unmet expectations.

They had almost kissed but it was still all pretend.

An almost kiss hadn’t changed the fact that Minghao liked Euiwoong.

“Seunyukkie-hyung is,” Minghao paused. He had heard it himself as he said it but the brief arch of Euiwoong’s eyebrow was a pointed reminder that Minghao wasn’t good at pretending anything. He cleared his throat. He tried again. “Seunghyuk-hyung and I were never actually in a relationship. We pretended. It was a plan to try to make you like me.”

“You pretended to be in a relationship to make me like you?”

It sounded ridiculous when Euiwoong said it like that. “To make you jealous. To make you look my way.”

Euiwoong was uncomprehending as he looked away and frowned. He didn’t seem to know what to do with his hands or any other part of his body as he processed the words and he settled for shaking his head at Minghao as he pinched at his own fingers.

“Justin,” He said, “You have been going out for around four months. Don’t you think that is too long to play games? How long were you planning on pretending?”

Minghao had never had a plan in mind. Seonho and Samuel had never suggested a time-frame and everyone else who colluded neglected to make any meaningful suggestions. He only thought of it in vague notions of as long as it took. He would have continued to pretend until Euiwoong had fallen in love with him or something similar. He hadn’t minded things as they were but the almost-kiss propelled Minghao into this desperate motion.

He needed Euiwoong to understand and return his feelings. Otherwise there was hardly any point to the plan. As Euiwoong said, it was four months. Minghao would have wasted four months only to make things strange with two of his friends.

“I really liked you, Hyung. I wanted you to notice me,” Minghao said. He knew that it wasn’t really an answer but he hoped that Euiwoong would focus more on what he was saying than what he wanted to know.

“Liked me?”

“Like!” Minghao corrected. Euiwoong shook his head.

“How would I have wanted to go out with you if you already had a boyfriend? Especially if that boyfriend was one of our hyungs?”

“Hyung, you are really manly and cool. We thought that you might show off some manly charm and try to steal me away from Seunghyuk-hyung if you became jealous enough,” Minghao said. He could already envision Euiwoong’s disbelieving expression before it passed over his face.

“Does that not sound silly to you?” Euiwoong asked as though he was talking to a very small child. There was only a year’s difference between them - less than a year, in fact. It was only ten months! - so Minghao wasn’t very pleased to hear that tone of voice. “Forget what you thought would happen - why on earth did Seunghyuk-hyung agree to this? He must have thought it was ridiculously juvenile when he heard it too.

Minghao didn’t even know what ‘juvenile’ meant but it sounded bad.

“Sorry, Hyung,” Minghao said. Euiwoong’s expression softened a fraction before he stared down at the table.

“Justin, we’re friends. I enjoy your company and I am happy to be a person that you can rely on,” Euiwoong said, diplomatic as always. “I wish I could say that I was flattered by your feelings, but I’m not. What you and Seunghyuk did is reprehensible, and I will have to ask that hyung for his reasons too, so I can’t lie to you and say that I am happy that you like me.”

Minghao had trouble understanding most of that but the words that jumped out at him were telling enough. Euiwoong wasn’t happy. It was Minghao’s fault.

He had hoped for things to go much better than this. Even as rejections went, Minghao found this to be ruthless. Considering they were friends. Euiwoong’s voice was freezing and it must have been the sub-zero chill in the words that prevented Minghao from doing anything ridiculous like crying.

“I am unable to return your feelings, Justin,” Euiwoong said. He eventually lifted his gaze, unwavering and unyielding, and smiled grimly. “Even if you ask me to consider, my feelings towards you won’t change. I am sorry if that disappoints you, but I have to be honest. Somebody has got to be.”

Minghao was shocked at the implication that he was a liar. It was true that he had lied extensively, but his intentions had been good. He only pretended to go out with Seunghyuk because he liked Euiwoong so much. But Euiwoong was very firm in his rejection. Minghao couldn’t help but be curious.

“Is there somebody else that you like?”

Euiwoong narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean?”

“Like Daehwi-hyung?” Minghao asked quietly.

“Hyung? Are you friends with him or something? Just like you’re friends with Park Siyeon?” Euiwoong grumbled.

“I’m closer to Siyeon-noona, but I suppose we are friends. He asked me to call him hyung.”

“Of course,” Euiwoong muttered. His jaw tightened and he exhaled very slowly before his next words. “Has Lee Daewhi been talking to you?”

“Yes,” Minghao said. It was the truth but that didn’t appear to make Euiwoong any happier than the lies he had been telling until now. In fact, Euiwoong flushed at the reply and became even more fidgety than before.

“Next time you see him you should tell him-” Euiwoong pressed his lips together and stemmed the flow of words and resignation passed over his face. “Forget it.”

Minghao hadn't even been in Euiwoong’s room for ten minutes yet he had already done enough to upset his friend to this extent. Nothing was going the way that Minghao wanted. He at least needed to let it be known that his intention wasn’t to cause so much disquiet.

“I didn’t want to hurt anyone,” Minghao said.

“You didn’t want to hurt anyone?” Euiwoong asked, his voice rising with incredulity. “How could doing something silly like… pretending not hurt somebody? You shouldn’t play with people’s feelings like that. What if I did like you? I said ‘if’, Justin, I mean it when I say I won’t return your feelings. What if I did like you and Seunghyuk-hyung came to like you too? Who would you choose?”

“Choose?”

“That’s right,” Euiwoong said, humour stripped from his voice. “You can only pick one, Justin.”

“What would I have to choose?”

Euiwoong frowned. “I see that you’ve finished your drink, Justin. I wish I could say it was nice to have you over but I think you should go.”

Minghao went quickly when Euiwoong led him out of the house. He was seen off with a wave and a grim expression and Minghao found that he wasn’t entirely disappointed. He supposed it was best to be kicked out before he got told off too much. He needn’t have been told off so at all if he had stuck to the way things were and walked home the rest of the way. He wouldn’t have been so lonely and confused about the rejection.

He arrived home before he was ready and he wasn’t fond of the walk past Seunghyuk’s house alone. It was only the first day. Minghao didn’t like the thought of walking past the house alone becoming a common feature of his future. They were still friends - they had to be! It was just weird to be around one another now. Seunghyuk was ignoring Minghao for now but things couldn’t stay that way. He was the first friend Minghao had made when he came to Korea and he wasn’t going to be the first friend Minghao lost too.

When Minghao got home he was dragged immediately to the kitchen to try whatever concoction Eungi had been experimenting with while he was inundated with questions about every detail of his first day back at school. He was glad that having food shoved into his mouth made it more difficult to speak because he could take his time with every reply and he could leave out most of the deeper details due to Eungi and Zhengting’s impatience. He didn’t have to admit that the day had been terrible.

Even better was when Minghao could get away from having to talk about his day because Zhengting had a riveting tale about some fish he watched through a pet shop window earlier in the day. Minghao didn’t even need to contribute any brain power to conversation until he said he was going to have an early night.

Minghao didn’t feel so easy about things when he checked the single text on his phone.

‘Congratulations,’ Seunghyuk had sent.

Minghao didn’t sleep too well that night.

 

 

 

Minghao supposed he was going to have to become accustomed to people being awkward around him. Euiwoong had joined Seunghyuk in not saying anything directly to Minghao and pretending he wasn’t there. A kind part of Minghao felt guilty for being glad that they were treating each other the same way. It was up to Hyungseob to carry the burden of conversation that nobody else bothered with. All of this was Minghao’s fault.

The only reprieve Minghao had from seeing how many people he had upset was Seonho. Initially Minghao had seen Seonho as an irritation but he was glad of the frivolity of Seonho providing proof that Hwang Minhyun didn’t hate him.

The messages on Seonho’s phone were all short and none of them invited further conversation but Minghao supposed the point was that Seonho really did have Minhyun’s number.

“Did you steal his phone?” Samuel asked. He was still sort of ignoring Minghao, but Seonho was loud and ridiculous enough that Minghao didn’t feel ostracised. Plus Samuel needed someone to bounce his incredulity off.

“Of course I didn’t steal his phone, what do you take me for?” Seonho said. Samuel frowned at Minghao and looked relieved when Seonho added, “I borrowed it from his back pocket when I accidentally bumped into him and got his number.”

“I knew it,” Samuel said, vindicated. “I am concerned about how none of these messages are calling you out for being a creep and telling you to leave him alone. How did you forge these?”

“How dare you doubt the legitimacy of these texts?” Seonho asked loftily. “Minhyun-hyung says he really likes talking to me.”

“Yeah, I really got that from this message that says, ‘I have never once asked you about your bowel movements.’”

Seonho huffed and rolled his eyes. “I had to tell him because he told me to look after my health and I was feeling particularly constipated that day.”

Samuel shot Minghao an unimpressed look that he was happy to be able to return. But after scrolling through Seonho’s phone for a moment longer the expression slipped right off Samuel's face. “Oh my God! What is this? ‘We are having a special promotion for couples next week.’ Why did he send this to you?”

Seonho grinned. “Why do you think?”

“I'm scared,” Samuel said as he pushed the phone across the desk to Minghao. “Why would he tell you he has a day off during that couples’ promotion? You're just some weird kid who won't leave him alone.”

“Am I?” Seonho fluttered his eyelashes and Samuel made a show of shivering. Seonho whacked Minghao on the arm, still blinking rapidly. “He says he doesn't want to give me the wrong idea that it is a date so I thought we could get all the couples to hang out. So we could get Sungyeon-noona and Yewon-noona, and Kyla and Siyeon-noona, and you and Boyfriend-hyung-seonbae.”

Minghao frowned. He didn't think that there were people who didn't know. It had slipped his notice completely that he hadn't told Seonho and Samuel what had changed.

“We broke up.” Minghao had hoped there wouldn't be anything as painful as silence to follow his words. Silence was a problem because his brain accounted for that by loudly reminding him of everything that was no longer his - that had never been his. He shrugged and tried to smile. “And it was all for nothing. Euiwoong-hyung rejected me.”

“That's a shame,” Seonho said. His words lacked any real sympathy but that was better than Samuel, stunned across the table. He didn’t want Samuel to pity him now, not after he had said in no uncertain terms that he wasn’t interested in Minghao’s love life. It would have been better for Samuel to react in the same flippant way as Seonho who was flagging over Kyla and telling her about the couples’ promotion at the dessert shop.

“Justin, are you alright?” Samuel asked.

“I’m fine,” Minghao said. Samuel didn’t look as though he believed the words and neither did Kyla as she gave up on shaking off Seonho’s hand.

“Justin, maybe you should try getting back together with Seunghyuk-oppa.”

It was a ridiculous thing to say, so obviously Seonho nodded in agreement. “If you get back together you can come on the date too!”

“Ignore Seonho,” Kyla said. “You should consider it though. You like him, don’t you?”

Minghao shook his head. He liked Euiwoong. He just missed Seunghyuk. He became too used to Seunghyuk always being there but in time that feeling would fade. Eventually he would be able to consider Seunghyuk as a normal friend again. He could admit that he was more fond of Seunghyuk than he had realised but feeling sorry that he had lost faked contact was not a good enough reason to go out with someone.

The talk with Euiwoong yesterday had left Minghao appropriately chastised. It didn’t make sense to go back to what he was doing before. It wouldn’t be any more real and Minghao doubted Euiwoong would be any happier to hear that Minghao had gone back to the thing that had Euiwoong calling him all sorts of things.

“Hyung doesn’t like me very much,” Minghao said instead.

“But you like him, right?” Kyla pressed.

“Kyla, it doesn’t matter,” Minghao said.

Kyla disagreed with that but she didn’t seem to want to do anything more than huff as she went back to sit down at her seat. She had been so kind yesterday and Minghao wondered if this was how her kindness had manifested itself today. Minghao supposed he missed this meaner Kyla. It was good that she was back to normal.

Samuel didn’t look too happy with Kyla being back to normal. “She shouldn’t say things like that. Are you alright Justin?”

Minghao wasn’t alright, but he didn’t understand why Samuel would be so defensive of him seeing as they weren’t exactly best friends at the moment. Or maybe they had made up and Minghao had forgotten all about it. He didn’t think that was the case because he was finding it very difficult to forget about anything at the moment.

“I’m fine.”

Samuel didn’t look too sure about that but his expression brightened for a moment before dissolving into confusion. Seonho and Minghao twisted in their seats to see Lee Daehwi approaching. He looked tense, his face and shoulders tight, and he looked about the classroom apologetically.

“Hyung, what are you doing here?” Samuel asked. Daehwi smiled grimly in response.

“Hi, Sammy.” Samuel flushed with pleasure but he wasn't allowed too long to bask in that as Daehwi spoke again. “Justin, can I talk to you for a moment? Privately?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is a super quick update for me, unfortunately the quality still hasn't improved and I don't even have the excuse of nice things happening in this chapter. lmao okay this is what happens when my friends make me leave the house. also sorry about the terrible cliffhanger but this chapter was getting too long for me. I will try to update soonish (like under two weeks as has been typical for me recently TT) so we don't all forget how the chapters connect lmao


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin's life turns bad(der)

When Minghao agreed to talk he hadn't assumed that privately would once again mean in the toilets but he supposed Daehwi was aiming for some gritty, dirty concept. Or he didn't have very many good ideas. They both had to awkwardly wash their hands while they waited for everyone to vacate the area and eventually Daehwi took to standing guard at the door to prevent more people from entering. He wedged the entrance shut with the doorstop and whirled to face Minghao. Tension thrummed in every line of his body. Just like the last time they talked, Daehwi stayed near the door. Unlike last time, his gaze was sharp.

“How are things with Euiwoong?”

Minghao deflated. He wasn't fond of having to repeat such bad news. He shouldn't have been so confident that Euiwoong would fall for him. He could have saved a lot of heartache by showing caution and not involving every person who so much as passed him in the street.

“I confessed to him and I was rejected.”

Daehwi’s gaze faltered. “You were rejected? You aren't going out with him?”

“He said he would never change his mind.”

Minghao was flattered at Daehwi’s crestfallen expression. In a way they were rivals, yet Daehwi was cheering him on. Minghao had to return the favour. Daehwi was friendly and warm and probably never told lies. He would suit Euiwoong well even though Minghao was still hoping that Euiwoong was being dramatic. He might have grown too used to people hyperbolising and saying things that they didn't really mean. There could still have been some sort of chance. He wanted to reassure Daehwi that things could still turn out for the best but somehow he didn’t get the feeling that it would fix the furrow in his brow.

“You’re not Euiwoong’s boyfriend?” Daehwi asked. Mingao didn’t think it needed so much clarification.

“No. He said he would never be able to return my feelings.”

Daehwi’s eyes boggled. “Surely that's too harsh!”

Minghao shrugged. It was certainly shocking to hear something like that. Minghao would likely have had more of a reaction to the rejection if his mind wasn't preoccupied.

Minghao hadn't only confessed because Siyeon told him to, or because he needed to prove to himself that he still did like Euiwoong and this relationship was something that he wanted. He did like Euiwoong and he was upset that he had been rejected. He just wasn't as upset about that as he thought he would be.

“He probably didn't want to give me any false hope.”

Despite Minghao’s words, the rationality he could pretend into himself if he tried hard enough, he was still holding out for a chance of something. All of this couldn't have been for nothing.

Daehwi didn't look as though he saw things the same way. “So he said there is no way he would go out with you? Is there someone else?”

“I did ask,” Minghao said. Daehwi’s eyes went wide as he waited. “He went all strange when I mentioned you.”

“You mentioned me? Why would you do that?” Daehwi’s voice was loud enough that anyone outside would have heard. Minghao hadn't expected him to turn red and shrill so suddenly.

“I wanted to know if there was someone else,” Minghao explained slowly. Daehwi’s expression didn't improve. “I thought maybe it was you because you and him meet up.”

“In secret.”

“What?”

Daehwi shook his head and dabbed at his eyes with the heels of his hands. When he removed his hands his eyes and nose were glowing pink and he sniffed noisily. Minghao didn't know what he was supposed to do about Daehwi crying. He had told Euiwoong that they were friends but now that Daehwi was getting so visibly upset he wasn’t sure that they were close enough that they should hug until Daehwi felt better. Minghao was glad of his hesitation when Daehwi did speak, his gaze marred with a sludge of sadness.

“Nobody is supposed to know, Justin,” Daehwi pronounced slowly. “Euiwoong won't even talk to me at school if a teacher asks him to. We aren't friends. We are only classmates and that is it. Nobody is even supposed to know that we even acknowledge each other.”

Minghao didn't understand. He wouldn't kiss someone unless they were at least friends. He was friends with Seunghyuk and for days all he had been able to think about was how things could have been if they really had kissed. He couldn't imagine not wanting to be friends with Seunghyuk, regardless of whether kisses were involved or not. Minghao couldn't see how Daehwi could stand there and be so adamant about not being friends with Euiwoong even though they kissed.

“You shouldn't kiss people you don't like, Hyung,” Minghao said. It seemed like the kind of advice Daehwi could do with, even though he didn't seem keen on listening to it.

Daehwi shook his head and scrubbed furiously at his eyes. He sniffed, tremendously loud, and his eyes were bleary and red as he stared down at the tiles of the floor. “I do like him, Justin. I like him so much.”

“But you said you only liked him a little bit,” Minghao said. He didn't think he would have remembered hearing that if they weren't cloistered away in the toilets again. Daehwi had been lackadaisical enough that Minghao had assumed he would be the one Euiwoong would choose and Daehwi wouldn't care at all. But he had been lying.

“I like him a lot,” Daehwi confirmed. His voice cracked and he chuckled at the fragility of his own voice. “I have tried so hard to get him to like me back, Justin, and I acted like it didn't matter that he was ashamed of associating with me, but I kept trying. I think you've ruined it all for me.”

Minghao frowned. He had only been curious. He hadn't expected to hear words like ‘shame’ being bandied about in this context.

Euiwoong projected the image of togetherness and kindness. He was the ideal that Minghao had coveted for months. He was smart and attractive and hardworking and attentive to the people around him. Euiwoong was perfect. He wasn't secretive and ashamed and full of sharp words that made Minghao confused about whether or not he should cry if he heard them.

If Euiwoong was perfect, Daehwi was full of the imperfections that made people smile. The only reason Minghao had to even consider disliking Daehwi was that they were both aiming for the same person. Daehwi was tactile and brimming with cute gestures that had Minghao squirming in envy. Daehwi wasn't known for having perfect grades, but he was still diligent enough for people to share impressed whispers about his talents. And Euiwoong was ashamed of being seen with him.

“Hyung, you deserve to be liked,” Minghao said. He doubted the words would be enough to convey his regret, but he hadn't known that saying anything would be so bad. He had been jealous of the contact between Daehwi and Euiwoong, assumed he was at a disadvantage because of something like not being able to draw Euiwoong in with kisses and touches.

Minghao hadn't considered even once that he was the one with the upper hand. Euiwoong had always appeared proud of his junior from a foreign country, eager to take care of him and praise him for being cute and funny because of the most insignificant things.

Minghao had the upper hand yet the rejection had been glacial with no chance for purchase.

Watching Daehwi dithering and stealing glances at his tearful reflection in the grimy mirrors, Minghao wondered whether both he and Daehwi had been wrong all along to like Euiwoong. Daehwi was nice! He didn’t deserve to be crying in the toilets because of a boy who was mean for no reason.

“Hyung, are you still going to try to make Euiwoong-hyung like you?”

Daehwi frowned at the question as he emerged from a cubicle with tissue paper scrunched into his hands. “Are you?” He retorted.

“I’m not sure if I should. He was… angry? I think he was quite angry with me.”

“I’m angry with you too,” Daehwi said. He sounded more distressed than angry, but Minghao wasn’t about to question it aloud. He had every right to be upset and show his anger that way.

“I’m sorry, Hyung,” Minghao said. Daehwi turned baleful eyes on him and for a moment it seemed that the jutting of his bottom lip would prelude a scathing remark (it was no less than what Minghao deserved if he truly had messed things up for Daehwi) but then his face crumpled and he launched himself at Minghao. He cried loudly, possibly sobbing out ‘Justin’ but it was hard to tell as his face was pressed into Minghao’s chest. Minghao had even less idea of what to do. He patted Daehwi on the back and said, “I really am sorry. I didn’t know how things were.”

“Of course you didn’t know!” Daehwi wailed. “You’re such a good kid, and I even lied and said I would support you going after Euiwoong because I thought it would make me look better. It’s my own fault that Euiwoong told me not to contact him ever again. It’s because he knows I was a bad hyung to you.”

“I don’t think that’s it,” Minghao said. He didn’t think he could be heard over Daehwi’s sobbing, but Daehwi shook his head in response. Minghao was glad of having practice being heard when Zhengting was being ridiculous and dramatic. He never would have thought the skill could be applied elsewhere. He didn’t quite see the point of getting his voice heard when Daehwi was loathe to accept another point of view. It was unlikely that Euiwoong was the authority on being a good hyung, and even if he was it was even less likely that he would have cared about any slights from Daehwi to Minghao. Euiwoong had seemed mostly aghast at the fact that Minghao and Daehwi knew each other more familiarly than being able to identify one another.

Daehwi wouldn’t have his mind changed.

“It’s because I’m not a good person,” Daehwi insisted. “I am jealous of you because you were already close to Euiwoong and you even had the support of your friends. I never had any of that. My friends always told me I was stupid for trying, and they were right. And I knew that I shouldn’t have wanted Euiwoong, but I couldn’t help myself. When Euiwoong sent me that message I thought it was because you had won. I was disappointed but I thought it was fine, Justin, because I hated you and I could keep trying to get him to notice me properly.”

Minghao was mostly worried that he was going to miss too much of his lessons today - not that he had actively been able to pay attention while he was present. He hadn’t expected Daehwi to suddenly start crying onto him with strange words about being a bad person. Daehwi had never seemed anything like a bad person and, though Minghao hadn’t caught everything, the things that Daehwi was saying seemed to be normal. It was normal to dislike rivals and it was normal to be jealous of them and to want to keep trying to be noticed and liked by people. Minghao didn’t think that Daehwi was a bad person at all. But it still wasn’t nice to hear some of the words.

“You hated me?”

Daehwi looked up at Minghao. His eyes were red and solemn. And he nodded. He smoothed his hands over the damp patch on Minghao’s school shirt and sniffed loudly. “I’m sorry, Justin. I think I still do hate you.”

“That’s alright,” Minghao lied.

“It isn’t. What have you ever done for me to hate you?”

“You just told me that I ruined everything for you,” Minghao pointed out. Daehwi looked surprised for a moment before he set his expression into something closer to forced happiness.

“I’m being silly,” Daehwi said. “I’m just sad and annoyed. I probably never had a chance in the first place.”

Daehwi had only been born a year before Minghao, yet he was at least trying for composure. When he was faced with crushing disappointment. Minghao wondered if he wasn’t only acting like he was getting over things because he thought that he had to. Minghao wouldn’t have been able to do the same if he was in such a position. All Minghao ever did was complain about how difficult it was to get Euiwoong to notice him and take advantage of his friends.

Daehwi leaned back in and wrapped his arms tightly around Minghao. He rested his chin on Minghao’s chest and pouted up, his eyes still red and swollen. “Please forgive me even though I hate you.”

“You don’t need to worry, Hyung,” Minghao said. “It is alright to hate me if it makes you feel better.”

Daehwi groaned and shook his head quickly, his eyes scrunching shut and his lips puffing out like a fish. “I will try not to hate you. I am sorry for blaming you.”

“I’m sorry that I said anything to Euiwoong about you,” Minghao said.

“You’re such a cute kid,” Daehwi muttered. “You’ll make me feel really bad.”

“Sorry,” Minghao said yet again. It was clear that the cheer Daehwi had affected was false, but he was trying hard to act as though his feelings were negligible. Minghao decided it was better to listen when Daehwi told him it was nothing and that he should hurry back to his class.

Minghao didn’t do what he was told. He lingered outside the toilets once he was free and after waiting for a few minutes it became apparent that Daehwi wasn’t going to hurry back to his own class. Minghao didn’t want to wait too long just in case he got into trouble. But he would likely already be in trouble for missing the beginning of his class anyway. He wasn’t ready to go back just yet. It was completely understandable that Daehwi was still waiting around.

Minghao was quick as he moved through the corridors, hoping that he wouldn’t be noticed by too many people as he passed by the windows to classrooms. He dashed up the stairs to the top floor and peered left and right to see which direction he needed to go. He felt stupid crawling along the ground so that he wouldn’t be seen, but the third years were preparing for exams and he would feel even worse about everything if he was a distraction from their studies. That sort of thing seemed so far away for Minghao, and he wasn’t even sure that he would still be in Korea by the time it was his turn to decide his future with making efforts to study and choose a university, but it had been drilled into him not to be a bother to examinees. But he needed to make an exception just this once.

There was no need to clear people out of the toilets on this floor. Minghao only had to pull down the toilet lid and sit in a cubicle as he sent a text. He was being selfish but he didn’t feel that he could sit in his classroom and do anything more than wonder about Daehwi.

It had only been a minute since sending the message that the door to the toilets opened.

Seunghyuk immediately covered his eyes and turned around.

“Justin, why didn’t you close the cubicle?” Seunghyuk asked. His voice was soft in the way that Minghao had grown to know best and there was a note of humour that had been missing (or that Minghao simply hadn’t been able to hear) over the past few days.

“Hyung, I’m not using the toilet,” Minghao said. He stood up quickly to prove the point but Seunghyuk still wasn’t looking. Minghao had to stride across the room and tug at Seunghyuk’s arms to pull his hands from his face. “Hyung, look at me. I wasn’t using the toilet. Look at me, Hyung, I’m not strange!”

“Justin, it isn’t normal to make people watch you use the toilet,” Seunghyuk said. He was only letting his arms move slightly - not enough to let Minghao reveal his face, but just enough to make this annoying.

“Hyung, please!”

Seunghyuk finally dropped his hands. The smile on his face was small, but it was more than Minghao had received in a while. And it faded away within moments.

“Why did you call me here?”

Minghao hesitated. It seemed silly now that Seunghyuk was fading back to the person who had been ignoring Minghao. It was hard to say where they currently stood with one another. They were no longer pretending to be boyfriends and there was no reason for Minghao to call for Seunghyuk so readily, let alone for Seunghyuk to rush to see him.

“I'm not sure,” Minghao admitted. He couldn't even blame this on an impulse because he had plenty of opportunity to decide against doing this. He had simply been stuck on the desire to see someone who could let him know whether or not any of this was alright.

None of this was alright. To send the message asking for Seunghyuk to come and see him, Minghao had to pretend he wasn't pricked once more by the congratulatory text he had received last night. Seunghyuk looked as though he too was swallowing back the bitterness of the words.

But they were just friends. The lines had only been blurred a little bit. Seunghyuk had been nice and assumed the best for Minghao. The ease that Seunghyuk was shedding the temporary attachment hadn't been something Minghao had wanted to dedicate too much thought to so he hadn't replied. It wasn't necessary to clarify when it was plain enough that morning that Euiwoong didn't want to have much to do with Minghao.

This was the first time Minghao had been alone with Seunghyuk since they broke up. The boundaries of their relationship had lost too much definition and Minghao wasn't as good as Daehwi to act as though he was capable of coping. They were just friends but Minghao had to make sure that Seunghyuk understood the way things were.

“Euiwoong rejected me.”

Seunghyuk nodded. “Is that something you wanted to talk to me about?”

Seunghyuk's voice was quieter but the strain was ever present. Minghao could understand. Seunghyuk had spent months listening to every little thought Minghao had and it must have been tiring. It wasn't until Samuel had said something that Minghao realised how selfish he had been with the people around him. He wasn't as good a person as Daehwi, but he could pretend to be kind enough to spare Seunghyuk from hearing something so useless when he needed to concentrate.

“We don't need to talk about that. I only wanted to tell you.”

“Okay.”

“I talked with Daehwi-hyung a moment ago,” Minghao said.

“Okay,” seunghyuk said once more.

“I think I made him cry,” Minghao said. Seunghyuk frowned, so at least he was reacting to something. “Or I definitely made him cry. He really liked Euiwoong-hyung but because of me they will have to stop meeting.”

“That’s a shame,” Seunghyuk replied dispassionately. Of course Seunghyuk didn’t care.

Minghao wondered how he had reached this point of desperately needing to share everything with Seunghyuk. Now that they were face to face, Seunghyuk barely able to amass any sympathy for the things Minghao was saying, it seemed ridiculous to want an excuse to reach out to him so constantly. Yet Minghao wanted to say more, to try to prolong this now that the initial relief that Seunghyuk came had abated.

This was the same Seunghyuk who had made Minghao’s teeth sting with the dizziness of being disoriented for days after almost changing everything. This was the same Seunghyuk who had been close enough to kiss dozens of times that Minghao had never appreciated before. He had indulged in the over familiar touches that Minghao had craved and became more tactile as the days passed. He had been able to detect minute changes in Minghao’s mood, enough to be the first person to discover and instantly allay any worries that needed to be shared. He had reached out to Minghao and become an irreplaceable friend.

Things between Minghao and Seunghyuk were strange. It really wasn’t fair. It hadn’t been long at all but Minghao was waiting for things to return to normal. He wanted the ease of being able to talk to Seunghyuk without feeling like a bother or having Seunghyuk struggle to look at him. He wanted to be selfish.

“Hyung,” Minghao said, because he wanted to be selfish enough to try and remember how he usually went about talking. “I think Daehwi-hyung already misses how things used to be.”

Minghao waited for a response that would let him know that everything would be alright, and that they would be able to return to being friends at the very least.

“I am sure things will work out,” Seunghyuk said. “Anyway, I need to go back to class. I have lots of studying to do. You should go back to your classroom too.”

It was silly to be disappointed, Minghao knew that well enough, but he had been hoping for something that he could smile about. He didn’t even want a hug or an innocuous squeeze of his hand. Just some engagement in conversation, or even a smile and the promise of listening to more of the things that Minghao was worried about.

“I’m sorry for being a bother, Hyung.”

“Make sure you hurry back, Justin,” Seunghyuk said.

Seunghyuk was gone as quickly as he had arrived. Minghao knew he was being silly for thinking that the haste of his arrival meant something. Seunghyuk was simply busy and wanted to deal with things quickly. It wasn’t that he was eager to see Minghao and he would have made any excuse to prolong their time together. He was busy. Minghao had been wasting his time all along.

Minghao wasn’t busy. He still had some time before he needed to be busy. He returned to the cubicle he had waited in before and locked the door before he sat down on the toilet lid.  

Everyone around Minghao was busy in ways that he had never considered before. They didn’t have time to worry about his problems that were barely even problems. They had their own business to worry about that didn’t concern him. He knew this, but he wanted to at least be able to work through his problems too. He needed help because he was stupid and selfish, but he couldn’t help being more stupid and selfish and losing people he could ask for help.

Minghao wished he had asked Seunghyuk how he was and let him say something. That would have been a much better idea than to do the things he usually did and try to start talking about the things he wanted to talk about. They had started off so well, with Seunghyuk joking around with him and Minghao had ruined it because he wasn’t considerate. He had never been considerate and but even now that people were making him realise his mistakes he wasn’t doing anything to change that.

Even now, he wanted to be selfish and he wanted someone to indulge him at least that much. His state of mind was too frustrating and there wasn’t an easy way to make himself grow up and start treating people better. There wasn’t an easy way to make him want to go back to class either. He wondered whether Daehwi was good enough to be able to pretend to everyone that he hadn’t just been crying in the toilets and returned to sit amongst his classmates like normal. Minghao’s job would have been much easier but he found that he couldn’t face it when he had the alternative of hiding away and playing games on his phone. Daehwi had Euiwoong in his class, so Minghao wondered whether it was too mean to hope that Daehwi was still hiding away too because it was too difficult to stay in the same room as normal. He wasn’t sure whether it was more mean to hope that Daehwi wouldn’t be able to face things or that Euiwoong might feel guilty about something. There was still a long way to go before Minghao started considering the feelings of other people more maturely.

Even playing games on his phone was hardly a distraction. Instead of focusing on the bright colours and the simplicity of the goal, his mind kept wandering and reminding of what a brat he was. The words Euiwoong said to him must have been justified. Minghao didn’t really know what some of the words meant, but he could tell that there was a sharpness in them that he had never yet encountered in his life. He had made bad impressions of himself but he supposed it couldn’t be helped if he wasn’t inherently good as a person. He couldn’t even play a goalless game successfully on his phone.

Minghao’s eyes might have been losing focus and his hands might have been trembling but they seemed like yet more excuses that he was making for himself.

He had tricked Seunghyuk into having a good impression of him, that was why he was so kind from the start - unless it was only that Seunghyuk was a saint and put up with Minghao’s impudent whims out of the goodness of his heart - but patience had worn thin when Minghao’s requests became too frivolous. There had to be a reason like that for Seunghyuk to have reacted so strangely when it seemed they were so close to a kiss.

Minghao wasn’t even sure why he was so desperate for the fantasy his mind had twisted to become true. He was supposed to have been aiming for Euiwoong all along and yet he had been warping realities to take comfort in some lovable traits he had assumed himself to have.  He was only making the situation worse and he wasn’t going to become a better person by lamenting the fact that Seunghyuk hadn’t wanted to kiss him.   

Minghao wanted to redo that evening and at least confirm things with a clear mind. It was doubtful he would have a clear mind again for a while, but he wanted to at least see if things were different a second time around.

Thankfully Minghao was startled out of his silliness by the ending of the first session of the morning and some students entering the toilets. He didn’t want to go back to his own classroom just yet but it would be stranger to stay here any longer. He made a show of flushing the toilet and washing his hands while awkwardly greeting the seniors when he noticed them giving him strange glances as they chatted about something or other.

Unfortunately he walked right out of the door and into Sungyeon. She wasn’t the worst person for him to walk into as that person was standing about three feet behind Sungyeon and instantly glared at Minghao.

“Justin, what are you doing here?” Sungyeon asked.

“Nothing, Noona. I am going back to my classroom.”

Sungyeon wasn’t about to let him leave that easily. She latched onto his arm and stared up at him curiously. How long have you been in there? Did you see… Oh I won’t say anymore. I know that you ‘officially’ broke up but can I tell Yewon that you’re still meeting up? She was worried about you.”

Minghao wasn’t happy that Sungyeon had made the connection between him being in the toilets and Seunghyuk having left class to presumably go to the same place. He liked Sungyeon and supposed he didn’t mind her knowing because she had remained benevolent about the whole thing, but she wasn’t keeping her voice down and Hyungseob was still glaring at Minghao from behind her. It would have been much better if Sungyeon had suddenly lost interest in Minghao as a person and let him escape in peace.

“I didn’t know you were friends,” Hyungseob said as he approached. Sungyeon startled at the sound but even as she grumbled at Hyungseob she didn’t release Minghao’s arm.

“I have spent a lot of time with Justin recently. It is only good manners to befriend the lovers of your friends.”

“If I recall, you weren’t friends with Seunghyuk either,” Hyungseob said pointedly. Sungyeon faltered for a moment and nervously glanced up at Minghao as she tugged his arm closer to her chest. Minghao had the distinct feeling that he was being used as a human-shield which was in no way reassuring seeing as Hyungseob seemed to have no qualms about tearing Minghao to shreds. It hadn’t happened yet but Minghao could detect the change in the air.

“I know what I said,” Sungyeon said from behind Minghao’s arm. “I became friends with Justin first and then I became friends with Choi Seunghyuk.”

“So that’s why you’ve taken his side, right? Because you’re his friend and not Seunghyuk’s? They’ve broken up now so you don’t need to be friends with both of them now,” Hyungseob said with a sneer.

“Are you not my friend now, Hyung?”

Hyungseob looked surprised at the question and shook his head quickly. “I didn’t mean it like that, Justin.”

“How did you mean it?” Sungyeon asked, suddenly brave despite still standing behind Minghao.

Hyungseob frowned and muttered that he didn’t know. It didn’t do anything to make Minghao feel any better and he was glad that the lack of an answer spurred Sungyeon to pull Minghao away from Hyungseob.

He hadn’t been acting too fond of Minghao for a while, making snide remarks and rolling his eyes when anything pertaining to the relationship with Seunghyuk was mentioned. Minghao supposed he wasn’t surprised that Hyungseob really did mean to take sides over this. He had been sticking closely to Seunghyuk over the past couple of days and Minghao thought it was strange that the pair of them hadn’t been together when Minghao bumped into Sungyeon. It really had been silly for Minghao to get so fixated on a kiss that never happened. He had forgotten the way things had been between Hyungseob and Seunghyuk before all this business with the fake relationship. They must have been dancing around each other for months before Minghao came along. They were originally close and it was Minghao who disrupted that despite having his suspicions. It was something else for Minghao to remember to be guilty about.

Yewon had appeared by the time Sungyeon had dragged Minghao to the nearest stairwell and he only felt worse for not having greeted her properly.

“Do you think I care about that when you’re upset?” Yewon asked as she leaned into Minghao’s side. He shrugged and Yewon smiled and hugged him before making kissy faces up at him.

Sungyeon was a lot more serious about things as she said, “Justin, was your relationship real to Hyungseob?”

“Yes,” Minghao said. It had seemed better that Hyungseob thought there was some truth to it as well as Euiwoong. Sungyeon tilted her head.

“I think Hyungseob would be hurt if somebody else told him that it was fake.”

“But, Noona, wouldn’t Seunghyuk-hyung have said something by now?”

“Justin, he thinks it was real. That must be why he was being mean to you.”

“I’ve decided that I think it is real too,” Yewon said happily. Sungyeon rolled her eyes and pinched Yewon’s cheek. Minghao didn’t need to see something like that. He didn’t need reminding of the very real kiss Seunghyuk had left on his cheek all those weeks ago. But it was nice that Sungyeon and Yewon still had ease between them. He would feel bad about having them temper their interactions just for his sake. He hoped that thought meant he was already a bit less selfish than when he woke up that morning.

“If you tell Hyungseob that you were just pretending with Seunghyuk - even though everyone knows it wasn’t the case - he will be nicer to you. I’m sure of it!” Sungyeon said when she had finished being cute with Yewon. Minghao didn’t even have it in him to tell Sungyeon that she was wrong, that it had all been pretend.

It was something to think about. Sungyeon might have been right about Hyungseob mellowing if he found out that everything had been fake. There was no point in keeping up the charade now, especially not now that the plan had failed so terrifically. Minghao didn’t immediately reach that conclusion. He was wary of listening to Sungyeon but she and Yewon were nice enough to escort him back to his classroom so it was worth a shot after they were being so kind to him.

Minghao was feeling a bit better about things with Yewon’s baseless assurances that everything would be fine until an unnecessarily yelled “Noona,” which had most people in the classroom winced at. Minghao was then deafened by the unnecessarily shrill response of, “Baby!”

“There is no need,” Sungyeon muttered on the side of Minghao’s only working ear.

“You love me a lot, right, Noona?” Seonho asked as they approached. Kyla was frowning at him but he didn’t mind that at all as Yewon abandoned Minghao and held his arms wide for Seonho to lean into.

“Of course I love you, my sweet baby.”

“I got a date, Noona, are you proud of me?”

“Are we talking about this again?” Samuel grumbled.

“I’m sorry you have to hear my petty and jealous friend disrespect your precious child like this.” Seonho said into Yewon’s chest.

“This is fine,” Sungyeon muttered. “None of this matters. That kid has his head in my girlfriend’s chest but it is cool.”

“Isn’t that her baby, Unnie?” Kyla asked sardonically. “They’re just breastfeeding.”

“Kyla, sweetie,” Sungyeon simpered, “We are no longer friends.”

“Fine,” Kyla replied chicly.

“Kyla! You don’t care?”

Kyla shrugged and Sungyeon grumbled sadly as she leaned into Minghao’s side. Minghao needed to repay some of the kindness she had shown him and patted her shoulder sympathetically. It must have been difficult with all of the strife that surrounded Sungyeon at that moment. Her girlfriend had someone else’s face in her chest, one of her precious friends had waived her friendship, and she was only here to comfort Minghao.

“I’m sure Kyla does care really.”

“I don’t. Sungyeon-unnie who? I don’t know a person like that,” Kyla said as she flipped her hair over her shoulder and sat down in Minghao’s seat.

“Kyla, you’re really going to hurt Sungyeon’s feelings,” Yewon smiled.

“What do you think you’re doing right now then, Unnie?” Kyla retorted.

“Kyla’s right,” Sungyeon pouted. “My feelings are very hurt right now.”

“Why are you hurt though?” Yewon asked, her voice high and bright as she rocked Seonho in his seat. “What have I possibly done to hurt you? Does my baby know?”

“I don’t know either, Noona,” Seonho said.

“My baby doesn’t know either. What is the problem, Sungyeon?”

Minghao could clearly see that the problem was but he wondered whether this was how Yewon joked around, her tone identical to her ordinary conversational voice. It was difficult to pinpoint things like that in people he didn’t know completely. Maybe Sungyeon was well aware of it and this was her turn to be cute and relish the feeling of being teased. Minghao supposed it must have been the same as his own chance with Seunghyuk earlier. It was easy enough to play up being flustered and it felt fun to have Seunghyuk keep pushing, just for those few moments before he closed off and reminded them both of how things were supposed to be from now on.

It was something that Minghao didn’t think he would have been able to pick up on with many other people. Seunghyuk matched him well, so it was a shame that they weren’t friends in the same way that they used to be.

Minghao remembered wondering whether he and Seunghyuk could pretend well enough that they seemed like Sungyeon and Yewon. It would have been better if he hadn’t taken the plan so lightly, and hadn’t wished for closeness so shallowly. Now he was stuck watching Yewon and Sungyeon and marvelling at how the memories of his time with Seunghyuk flowed quickly back to him. He had to pretend that he didn’t care because Yewon and Sungyeon had already decided that Minghao did care and it would be even worse if they knew he was remembering things because of them.

It was worse when Yewon abandoned Seonho in favour of wrapping her arms around Sungyeon, gently pulling her away from Minghao’s side, and pressing their faces close together. Minghao didn’t get that part. He still hadn’t made up with Seunghyuk.

 

After school, Minghao was glad to be free of the prompts to get back together with Seunghyuk. He still hadn’t reached a point of maturity or selflessness so he didn’t care for Seonho whining about his not-date with Minhyun being dependent on the attendance of other couples. Minghao wasn’t part of a couple and he hadn’t truly been part of one since being in Korea. He was less glad when he was apprehended by Hyungseob on his way to the gate to meet the others.

“Hyung?” Minghao said. Hyungseob wasn’t looking at him and had his eyes instead fixed behind them on Seunghyuk who was leaving the building. Euiwoong wasn’t far behind him and jogged to catch up with the same smile he turned on people who called him kind and responsible.

“You look serious,” Euiwoong said, still wearing the smile that didn’t mean anything.

“I have an urgent appointment with Justin,” Hyungseob said. He clung to Minghao’s arm and finally smiled up at him. It was a strained smile but it was the best Minghao had received in a while. Better than the glare from earlier and much better than the confusion that had quickly followed it. Minghao smiled back, because he supposed that Hyungseob wouldn’t be trying to steal him away without reason.

Seunghyuk’s face was annoyed, but he didn’t say anything. It was probably better for him to be  away from Minghao and he didn’t express any objections as he started off home.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Euiwoong said. His smile had shrunk by the time he reached the end of his sentence and Minghao was unable to say anything.

Minghao was left alone with Hyungseob. None of the other students who passed could help him out of this situation.

“Justin, we need to go somewhere to talk.”

It wasn’t the most comforting of things to hear but Minghao followed along with it. He hadn’t spent much time at all with Hyungseob in recent months and it wasn’t until losing a pretend relationship that he had realised how much he was missing his real relationships. Hyungseob was funny and quick to brighten the mood at the best of times. Lately all Minghao had noticed was Hyungseob grumbling and grousing over every little thing.

In light of Hyungseob’s recent attitude Minghao thought that a park was a strange place to visit. There were plenty of children around so they couldn’t even find a bench to sit down on. Of course, it was just after school so of course there were children that wanted to play before going home. Two high school students were quite out of place.

The weather was still fine so they say in the shade of a large tree that was far away enough from the playground that there weren’t too many children who ventured near them in games of hide and seek.

“I’ll start,” Hyungseob said. Neither of them had said anything on the way to the park and Minghao was really wondering if Hyungseob had meant that he no longer considered them to be friends. “Do you still love Seunghyuk?”

“Of course I care about him a lot,” Minghao said. Hyungseob shook his head and swatted Minghao’s knee.

“No. I asked if you love him. Just tell me.”

“I like him.”

“You’re the one who broke up with him, aren’t you?” Hyungseob asked. Minghao wasn’t sure what to say. He and Seunghyuk hadn’t made up a story. They had just agreed to end things, as Minghao asked, and that was that. He didn’t like the thought of Seunghyuk embellishing the story on his own. No wonder Hyungseob would sympathise with him so easily if he had made it seem that he had been unceremoniously dumped. But Minghao didn’t think that Seunghyuk would say something like that. He would know what sort of repercussions there would be from being careless with words.

“I suppose I did,” Minghao allowed. Hyungseob must have been exaggerating things on his own if Seunghyuk had said that Minghao was the one to end it. Minghao was sure Seunghyuk was still the same person who wouldn’t try to get him into trouble.

“Don’t you think you should stop calling out to him if you don’t want to be with him anymore?”

“I’m sorry. I just like talking to him. He is a person I have come to rely on.”

“But you dumped him, Justin,” Hyungseob said.

Minghao couldn’t refute that when he had just admitted as much. Of course it would be strange to keep on calling out to Seunghyuk like this. In dramas and movies it wasn’t common for people to stay in such close contact after a break-up. There were supposed to be complicated feelings that were severed and bitterness that welled up periodically until they learnt to live by filling in all the gaps on their own. Minghao certainly had complicated feelings and all of them were to do with not wanting to cut off contact with Seunghyuk, almost as though it had been real.

There wasn’t much Minghao could do at this stage.

Hyungseob huffed at the lack of reply.

“Justin, I want you to give Seunghyuk back to me.”

Minghao didn’t have Seunghyuk, that was the whole point.

“You just said that I dumped him, Hyung. I can’t give him back to you.”

Hyungseob widened his eyes and huffed again. He said, “Is that really what you think? That you don’t still have him? Justin, you called out to Seunghyuk and he rushed out of the classroom to meet you.”

Minghao had expected that it was easy enough to determine what had happened. He had hoped earlier that Hyungseob didn’t know when he instead managed to say that he wasn’t Minghao’s friend. There wasn’t a way to escape feeling guilty when Hyungseob said it so plainly. Seunghyuk was busy and Minghao was disturbing him.

“I won’t do it again,” Minghao said.

“Oh? Do you think that is all it is? Do you not think that he is still looking for you reach out to him?” Hyungseob asked. “He’s my best friend, Justin. He was my best friend and you took him away from me. He doesn’t care anymore, no matter what I do or say. I don’t compare to you and I don’t think that I ever will. Does that make you happy, Justin, that you stole Seunghyuk from me?”

All along Minghao had suspected that there was something significant between Hyungseob and Seunghyuk but he never expected it to be addressed so straightforwardly. He had hoped to quietly ignore it until he was with Euiwoong and he could smile and cheer for his friends when they found their way to each other. He couldn’t ignore it like this.

“Do you love him, Hyung?”

“Does it matter?” Hyungseob asked. Then, “Yes. I do.”

“I’m sorry.”

Minghao wasn’t sure what else to say. He knew that apologising was the bare minimum but there was something brave about the breaths that Hyungseob was sniffing back as he ignored the shine rolling down his cheeks.

Sungyeon had advised Minghao to admit that the relationship was fake but it was difficult to even think about when Hyungseob was already shedding tears. It felt cruel to say that the entire thing had been pretend when none of it was pretend for Hyungseob. It would have been better if none of it had been fake. Minghao would have felt a lot better about not having to tell Hyungseob it was pretend and he would at least have an excuse for missing Seunghyuk so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> does anything in this chapter make sense?? probably not! do i care??? not as much as i should!  
> anyway i got my SCHXXL OUT copies today and i just wanted to brag about getting yuha, yehana and kyla photocards, otherwise i would still be dragging my heels over this


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are less bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am sorry you all had to wait so long but this chapter is quite long so i hope that makes up for it!!!!

Minghao was usually irritated by how readily Zhengting pulled him into his arms every time he returned home. He would roll his eyes, internally or externally depending on how sensitive a mood Zhengting seemed to be in, and free himself as quickly as possible. But he needed the hug today.

He had almost worried when he opened the door that there would be nobody there, that Eungi had surprised Zhengting and whisked him on a date (or worse, an impromptu holiday like he had a week after Minghao moved in. He had been lonely for the week when he had been alone in the house, but the kind boy from next door had been sent over with side dishes that his mum had cooked and battered manhua volumes which were enough for Minghao to get excited that China existed here too) but Zhengting was there, smiling brightly and squeezing him until the tightness of his chest felt balanced.

Perhaps Minghao needed the hug too much, and he had shoved his backpack off too quickly to reciprocate the embrace, because Zhengting pulled back slightly and cupped Minghao’s face in his hands.

“Minghao, you’re upset. What’s wrong?”

The words wouldn’t come, not like this. Pressure was building in Minghao’s head and he wanted to sleep for a very long time. But he at least had to tell Zhengting. He let himself breathe, laughed when exhaling the air trapped in his lungs released the sobs cluttering the cavities of his skull. He was crying. But it was easier to talk through the tears.

“I want to go home. I miss my mum,” Minghao wept.

Zhengting held him tightly and rocked back and forth as Minghao crumbled in the doorway of their home. Minghao was aware of Zhengting’s reassurances that everything would be alright, and that he would do everything he could to fix Minghao’s problems, but it was impossible to answer. Being held was all that Minghao could handle and replying was far beyond the sobs that wracked through his chest.

Minghao’s head hurt and his eyes stung and everything was wrong.

When Minghao had shed all the tears that he could, and his weeping had receded into soft sniffles, Zhengting regarded him with his own watery eyes.

“We should call your mum. You should talk to her if you want to go home,” Zhengting said gently. He swiped away the tears that had collected on Minghao’s cheeks with his thumbs and waited for Minghao to nod before he smiled stiffly.

Minghao crawled into bed and burrowed under the covers with his phone. Zhengting was trying hard to make things better when all he knew was that Minghao was sad. He had appeared with a cup of warm water and armfuls of snacks that were from his private stash. Minghao had chuckled in spite of the pressure against his skull and asked why Zhengting would need such a thing as a private stash of snacks when this was his house. Zhengting left with promises that Minghao could talk to him as soon as he was ready.

The efforts that Zhengting put into caring were well appreciated, but Minghao had already burdened him too much to this point. He held his breath while he waited for the call to connect and he cried as soon as he heard the familiar cadence of his mother’s breath.

“Minghao, this is a strange time for you to call me,” His mum said.

“Sorry,” Minghao said quickly. His voice sounded stuffy so he sniffed. “Are you free to talk?”

“Of course I am, I didn’t mean that I don’t want to talk to you know. It is just earlier than usual,” His mum said. Minghao heard her excuse herself from whatever group she was with. It sounded like she was in a restaurant from the distant murmurs that faded by the time she spoke to him again. “What’s wrong?”

There was a firmness in her voice that Minghao had missed. Living with Zhengting he had only heard softer tones and childlike whinging, but Minghao’s mum was harsher with her words. She was direct and Minghao remembered for a brief period of his childhood being terrified of her because he thought she could read his mind before she pressed and pressed for the details of things that had upset him. He was glad of that now when his words were stuck and he could rely on his mum to nudge at him until his words popped out.

“Minghao, baby?” She said, her words soft but her tone brisk. “You didn’t sound like this when we talked at the weekend. What happened?”

“Everything,” Minghao spluttered. “Everything is strange and I don’t know why. I ruined things with my friends.”

“I’m sure you didn’t ruin everything. My son? My handsome little man? That isn’t possible, Minghao,” His mum said. “What happened to make you feel this way?”

Minghao wasn’t sure how much he should admit to. His mum could say all the nice things about him that she wanted to, Minghao knew that this was his own fault. He had never told his mum about the plan to get Euiwoong. She wouldn’t like hearing that he was sly like that, and Minghao wanted her to keep saying nice things about him. But he had to tell her something. He had called her for a reason.

“I broke up with my boyfriend,” Minghao said.

“Your boyfriend? What happened? Minghao, you didn’t even tell me? How long were you going out for? This boy must be silly to think that he could do better than you.”

“That’s not true, Mum. He can do better than me,” Minghao mumbled. “It was fake. I asked him to pretend to be my boyfriend so that I could look cool to someone but it didn’t work. And I upset our other friends by doing it.”

“Minghao, my darling son, how long has this been troubling you?”

“I don’t know, Mum, I just miss you. I made too many mistakes,” Minghao said.

This was all his own fault and every thought he had about trying to be more considerate of others had disintegrated with his will to tell Hyungseob the truth. It was all well and good intending to become a better person but he had made two people cry and several more upset. He had so many people upset and worried because of him and he only regretted it because he was being hurt by his actions too.

“I don’t think you would be proud of me, Mum,” Minghao mumbled into the phone. His mum made an unimpressed sound at that.

“I am very proud of you!” She exclaimed. “You are such a young boy and you have gone to a different country to study away from home. You are brave and smart and you have a wonderfully kind heart.”

It would have been much easier not to loudly sob down the phone if any of what his mum had said was true. Instead Minghao was a bigger disappointment than he had assumed himself to be. He couldn't even ease his mum's worry by stopping his tears and telling her that he felt better. He couldn't even do what he wanted to do and beg her to let him come home. He knew that realistically she wanted Minghao to come home quickly but it was difficult with her mentioning all these untruths she claimed to be proud of.

His mum’s voice turned firmer when she next spoke over Minghao’s stuttering breaths. “I don’t like that you are so worked up over this, Minghao. Is it not just me who you have been keeping secrets from? Is there not anyone in Korea who you have been talking to about this?”

Minghao didn’t need reminding that he was a hassle to everyone around him. He had tried to be less of a bother but he only ended up making his mum sound annoyed. He wanted an easy way to feel better about everything. He wanted to not have made so many stupid mistakes and hurt people around him.

“I’m sorry,” Minghao said.

“I don’t want you to feel sorry,” his mum said as she softened her voice. “I’m the one who should be sorry. I haven’t done enough to make you feel that you can still talk with me about your problems. I’m not just here to send you money and nag you about your grades. You’re my precious son and you couldn’t even tell me that you are suffering.” Minghao hadn’t meant to make his mum feel as though she was unapproachable. She was very approachable but she shouldn’t have had to hear about all the sly and underhanded things Minghao had been doing to try and get a boyfriend. She shouldn’t have had to hear that her son was not a person to be proud of. But she sounded upset that she didn’t know until now and the last thing Minghao wanted to do was to upset her. She was clearly upset as she went on, “I would like to speak to Zhengting for a little while. I know it must be difficult but can you go and find him so we can talk?”

Minghao hesitated for a moment but his mum pressed once more and the sound of her voice in his ear was something he had never wanted to deny. He pushed away his covers and crawled out of bed. He told her he would look for Zhengting, not that he would be difficult to find.

As expected Zhengting was attached to Eungi in the kitchen, mumbling something clumsily into Eungi’s shoulder. Minghao didn’t even care that the kitchen was more of a mess than usual and that Eungi had rearranged way too many of the utensils and pots and pans. He was more worried about approaching the situation. He was worried about what his mum would say to Zhengting. A part of him hoped that his mum would simply summon Minghao back home and demand Zhengting take care of all the minor details like helping Minghao repack his life to take onto a plane. Running away was for the best.

“Justin, you’re up,” Eungi said with a smile. “Are you hungry? Dinner won’t be ready for a while but I can make you a snack if you’d like.”

Minghao didn’t doubt that dinner would take a while longer and he wondered which take-away delivery driver would be bringing them the remedy to Eungi’s failed culinary skills that evening. He just about managed to return Eungi’s smile, which should have been a lot easier considering he normally struggled not to laugh at how unsuccessful Eungi’s efforts at cooking tended to be, and shook his head.

“That’s alright. I just need to borrow Jungjung-hyung.”

“Me?” Zhengting asked. He looked as though he was hoping Minghao wanted a different ‘Jungjung-hyung’ to be summoned. Eungi slapped his arm and pushed him in Minghao’s direction. Zhengting dragged his feet once he didn’t have Eungi’s hands pushing him along but he eventually knocked into Minghao. “What is it?”

Minghao held out his phone and Zhengting took it dumbly.

“What is this?”

“My mum wants to talk to you.”

In an instant Zhengting clamped the phone to his ear and rapidly spat apologies past the sluggish movements of his mouth. He smiled tightly at Minghao as he excused himself and dashed up the stairs, all while apologising constantly to Minghao’s mum. Minghao didn’t know what to do. It was easy enough to go when Eungi called him back into the kitchen.

“Justin, could you try some of this for me?” Eungi asked while holding out a spoonful of something that looked the wrong sort of green to be edible.

Minghao shook his head. “I really don’t think I could eat anything, Hyung. Can I just hug you for a while?”

Eungi’s expression faltered at the rejection of his cooking but instantly brightened and he held his arms open for Minghao to step into the warmth of his chest and Minghao tipped his head gratefully onto Eungi’s shoulder. Eungi gave the best hugs but Minghao didn’t get as many as he would have liked because Zhengting usually tried to join in and ended up elbowing Minghao in the face. Now that Zhengting was otherwise occupied Minghao hoped that he deserved this and wouldn’t live to regret upsetting someone else today.

Minghao wished that he could appreciate this moment of being held firmly without having the life squeezed out of his lungs. Instead each time he blinked his eyes he was struck with the image of Hyungseob’s face just moments after discovering the truth to Minghao’s relationship with Seunghyuk. He had almost looked relieved for a moment before his forehead creased deeply and his tears came thicker and faster.

If Minghao had been in the same position as Hyungseob he wouldn’t have been nice either. If he had spent years loving a person and waiting for that person to decide that the timing is right he wouldn’t have looked kindly upon a person who interrupted all of that with some hare-brained scheme.

“It was supposed to be me,” Hyungseob had sobbed. “We were supposed to go to university together and that was when he would tell me that he wanted to try going out. He was supposed to go on dates to the library with me and walk me home after lectures and he was supposed to love me, Justin.” Hyungseob had uselessly wiped at his tears as he spoke and Minghao hadn’t known what to do other than sit and watch his friend struggling with his own distress.

Minghao opened his eyes. Eungi was watching him carefully. Minghao wasn’t sure why Eungi would focus on him so much (a hug was a hug and Minghao just needed this one) until he felt hesitant fingers at the nape of his neck. Even Eungi had been hurt to the point of wariness. Minghao had been careless at every moment in his life. He closed his eyes and relaxed into the embrace and hoped that Eungi would quickly forget the moment Minghao had flinched away from his touch. It was different to what he was used to, but Eungi’s fingers gently stroking through Minghao’s hair were nice.

“Justin,” Eungi said gently. “I want you to be happy. I should have done better to help you to be happy.”

Minghao opened his mouth to lie, to deny his unhappiness, but the words wouldn’t come out.  He loved Eungi and he was glad that he was around. Eungi made Zhengting happy and put up with him when he was being stubborn and could pull Zhengting out of a silly mood with just an expression. Even though he couldn’t cook, Eungi was good to Minghao too. He was sensible about things from time to time, and he gave Minghao hugs quite often (even though these hugs were usually hijacked by Zhengting and his sulky elbows), and he liked Minghao to be included on days out and trips to the zoo, and he was responsible for the clothes and phone cases stashed beneath Minghao’s bed (because he was careless with credit cards and liked Minghao to match with him and Zhengting even if Minghao hated it).

“This is my own fault,” Minghao said instead.

“You’re just a kid, Justin, you can’t be blamed when me and Jungjung-hyung didn’t advise you better.”

“It really isn’t your fault at all, Hyung. It is because I am selfish that I hurt everyone.” Minghao wanted to be able to listen to what Eungi said and be happy about an excuse to dip culpability but he couldn’t deny Seunghyuk’s irritation when he had been called out just to listen to Minghao uselessly blither about nothing, nor could he deny Hyungseob’s very loud and snotty anguish as he relayed the entirety of the future he had planned for himself and Seunghyuk.

“Justin,” Eungi muttered. “You’re such a good kid. To the point of being bad. Nobody wants to see you blame yourself so much. Sometimes unfortunate things happen. You shouldn’t accept the burden of the misfortune when you are already so hurt.”

“But I only feel hurt because of what I did to everyone else,” Minghao said.

“No,” Eungi said sharply. Minghao opened his eyes and lifted his head slowly. Eungi’s expression wasn’t cross or annoyed at all. His eyes were piteous and soft and he used careful hands to hold Minghao’s face steady. “You can’t control everyone, Justin. You didn’t make it so that Euiwoong doesn’t love you.”

It was a nice thought but it wasn’t quite right. Minghao didn’t think that he was controlling anybody. It was simply that he knew the consequences of his actions were all bad. He said, “Hyung, what about Ahn Hyungseob? I think I knew all along that he loved Seunghyuk-hyung and I acted carelessly. Now Hyungseob-hyung thinks that Seunghyuk-hyung won’t love him anymore and it is my fault.”

“How is that your fault, Justin? You didn’t tell Seunghyuk not to love Hyungseob.”

Minghao shook his head quickly. “I know, but Hyungseob-hyung thinks that Seunghyuk-hyung loves me instead of him. But he doesn’t. He doesn’t love either of us.”

Minghao felt stupid for crying again but it was not as though Eungi would begrudge him just yet. Eungi was patient and kind even though Minghao didn’t deserve such treatment at this point. It was nice to pretend that he was a good person who did deserve to have Eungi embrace him warmly and assure him that the problems would all go away eventually.

Minghao almost believed Eungi until Zhengting returned with Minghao’s phone.

“Hyung!” Eungi exclaimed. Minghao wasn’t impeded from slipping out of Eungi’s arms and was glad that he could vacate quickly because Zhengting looked like he was in dire need of one of Eungi’s hugs.

Zhengting came to Minghao first and held him far too tightly just like always. Minghao couldn’t breathe and he couldn’t look away from Zhengting’s tearful face that was covered in ugly red splotches. He had cried a lot and this was Minghao’s fault too.

“I’m sorry,” Minghao said quickly.

Zhengting shook his head and smiled. It wasn’t alright, no matter what Zhengting pretended, because if he wasn’t upset he would have been able to say something rather than staying mute as he pressed a kiss to Minghao’s forehead.

It was a long while before Zhengting released Minghao and let Eungi hug him. Minghao felt something of a spare part as he watched Eungi drop kisses all over Zhengting’s face and tell him he was beautiful and smart and caring and all sorts of other fibs that made him the best person Eungi had ever met. It was nice even if Minghao found himself swallowing down envy rather than disgust for the first time in his life.

Seunghyuk used to tangle his fingers with Minghao’s almost carelessly and it was comfortable enough that Minghao had taken advantage of it during the time it was allowed to happen. Everything had become natural to the point that Minghao hardly registered the arms slung over his shoulder and the fingers in his hair and the warmth of a hand on his thigh and the smiles and laughs and furtive glances that had all been his for a few months. It was not until now, when he wasn’t allowed any of that because he was the one to have to force the issue about it all being pretend, that he realised how much he missed it all.

Minghao wanted to be allowed everything that he had with Seunghyuk once more. He wanted it but there was something he wanted in addition to skinship and soft whispers. He wanted the fuzzy warmth that filled his mind every time Seunghyuk chuckled shyly and his eyes became glittering crescents that reflected only Minghao’s image. He wanted the contentedness that came with being able to rest in Seunghyuk’s arms whenever he wanted and steal a cuddle even when Seunghyuk claimed that there were other things he needed his arms for. He wanted the pretend reluctance of Seunghyuk’s undivided attention, and the certainty of Seunghyuk’s hand that always reached for him, and the determination of Seunghyuk’s constant reassurances, and the artificial declarations of like.

Minghao had to push those thoughts aside in favour of listening to Zhengting finally mentioning what transpired during the phone call. Minghao didn’t need to think about what he felt for Seunghyuk when he was trying to be more considerate of others who had only ever been considerate of him. Zhengting claimed that Minghao’s mum hadn’t even been particularly cruel when she scolded him and he had only cried because he had told her he was negligent and careless.

Zhengting wasn’t the most attentive of people but he was hardly negligent. When his belly was full his eyes were sharp with focus and it was only really Eungi’s presence (or lack thereof) that distracted him from any given situation. But none of this was to Minghao’s detriment. He made sure Minghao had food to eat and went to school each day. Zhengting always asked Minghao how he was and tried to listen even when he was feeling sad.

“You’re a good person,” Minghao said. Zhengting flinched in Eungi’s arms and looked curiously up at Minghao. “You have done a lot for me, Hyung. You have looked after me well and I am sorry that my mum made you cry.”

Zhengting shook his head quickly. “I said that I cried because I realised I haven’t been good to you.”

“But you have been good to me,” Minghao said.

“Justin loves you, silly,” Eungi said as he curled his fingers around the back of Zhengting’s neck. “Do you think that he would like you so much if you weren’t good to him?”

“But he is kind and thoughtful,” Zhengting muttered quietly. “Of course he could pretend I was good to him if he is being nice to me. You don’t have to be so kind to me, Justin, you can tell me that I was ignoring you.”

Minghao would say no such thing. He knew that Zhengting was high-maintenance and though it could be inconvenient Minghao had grown to look forward to being pestered to make food and cuddle when he was feeling lonely. It was still attention and it made Minghao happy to hear Zhengting sleepy and content as he hummed songs that Minghao hadn’t heard since his childhood in between declarations that Zhengting couldn’t live without him. Minghao was beginning to feel the same.

“I’m not just being nice to you,” Minghao said. “You have done a lot for me. You even let me stay here and bother you all the time, Hyung. You’re good to me all the time. I’m sorry that I haven’t been better to you. I should have worked harder for you to realise that I like you.”

“Work harder?” Zhengting said as he sagged into Eungi’s shoulder. “You don’t have to work hard for something like that.”

Zhengting looked almost sulky as he blindly reached out for Minghao. His hand took on an impatient tension as he waited for Minghao to accept his hand and get dragged into an uncomfortable embrace where he was shuffled between Zhengting and Eungi. It was oddly kind of Zhengting to not be demanding all of the attention and elbowing Minghao out of the way. Minghao hoped that this meant he was forgiven for being the reason Zhengting’s eyes were still damp.

Minghao’s forgiveness was all but confirmed when he was told to choose what they would eat that evening after Eungi decided his cooking wasn’t good enough for an occasion like this. Eungi mostly looked relieved as he said something vague about trying again tomorrow as he put his simmering experiment into tupperware as though he would bother to approach them after today. Minghao already decided that he should cook tomorrow as an apology anyway but it wasn’t the right time to mention it. Minghao was allowed to choose what food they ordered for tonight, but he could take a hint. The expression on Zhengting’s face was silently begging for pizza. Minghao didn’t even bother pretending that was his initial idea when he said that he wanted to eat pizza. Zhengting smiled sunnily as he placed the order and Eungi quietly thanked Minghao.

It wasn’t so bad to make someone feel nice for once. Zhengting was happy stuffing his face with garlic bread and chicken strips between slices of pizza and it was impressive that he was doing all of this without coming up for air. Minghao was taking his time to actually chew food and not choke to death and as long as Eungi and Zhengting were happy it was an improvement on the day.

Minghao got full way before he expected and smiled in response to Eungi’s gentle prodding. It had been a long day and Minghao was feeling slightly less terrible when he had eaten something and was curled on the sofa and falling asleep while Zhengting wept about the drama rerun on the television.

“Tomorrow will be better,” Eungi said quietly.

Minghao nodded and hoped that Eungi was right.

 

For the first time in his life, Minghao didn’t go to school even though he was physically fine. He woke up with his alarm but decided he wanted to stay in bed for a few moments longer. Those few moments became a few minutes and an hour had passed by without Zhengting knocking on his door and whining for him to make breakfast.

It was strange but Minghao tried not to think about it. Instead he thought about how best to pretend he had developed a fever and was too weak to face school. He really was too weak to face school because his eyes burned at the thought of having to greet Seunghyuk just like this was any other morning and he wasn’t distracted with thoughts of Seunghyuk not having any of the right affection for him or even Hyungseob. If Minghao had to live through the moments of walking alone with Seunghyuk until they met Hyungseob he would certainly have crumbled and started to cry in the middle of the street.

Lying in bed and deciding that he was able to stay dry-eyed here was much better than dragging himself out of bed to suffer the fate he had constructed for himself. But it was strange that Zhengting still hadn’t come to fetch him.

Minghao waited until his phone vibrated with a call from Kyla. He didn’t answer and instead watched the screen light up as the phone buzzed loudly against the floor. Minghao’s room went quiet and dark once more and Minghao thought that this was for the best. But Kyla called him twice more and he had to watch and wait until the calls dropped and his phone buzzed with the missed call notification and texts from Kyla and Samuel.

When it had been quiet for a while longer Minghao threw his covers over his head and tried to go back to sleep. It was too warm and Minghao’s elbow itched but he didn’t want to get out of bed. Not until Zhengting came to get him. It was strange that he was still allowed to wallow in his bed this long into the morning. His friends were at school, working hard to some degree and Minghao was feeling sorry for himself for no reason. Only Kyla and Samuel had tried to reach him but he supposed it was still early enough that people thought nothing of Minghao’s absence.

He wondered whether it would be this easy for them all when he moved back to China. Coming to Korea was never supposed to be a forever thing so it made sense that people would find it easy to forget about him. That was for the best. Maybe when Minghao went back home to his mum everyone that he left behind would quickly forget about him and be free from any worries. Zhengting and Eungi could forget about the kid who made a nuisance of himself around the house and demanded too much of their time, and Sungyeon and Yewon wouldn’t even remember why they had become closer to Seonho, and Samuel and Seonho would easily slip into the same routine they had before they had to make allowances for Minghao, and Kyla might find herself stuck with some annoying friends, and Siyeon would have one less person to get annoyed at, and Euiwoong might forget about the stupid kid who had gone too far for a silly crush, and Daehwi would one day forgive the person who had put an end to a burgeoning romance, and, and Hyungseob might get the future he wanted, and Seunghyuk would fall in love and completely forget about Minghao ruining his life.

At least it wouldn’t all be bad, Minghao supposed. It might not even take long for everyone to forget that Minghao had caused so many problems and everyone could be happy without him. And Minghao wouldn’t be sad either. He would be a better son with the resolve to care for his mum and he would do well at his studies and find a goal and go to a really good university. Everyone would live happily ever after and Minghao only had to get through a few more weeks before his mum could organise for him to transfer to a high school near her home. But he wasn’t in the mood to deal with any of that just yet. He would have preferred to let the time pass in the blink of an eye and sleep his way through it. He had just hoped that someone might show some concern for the fact that he had cloistered himself away like this.

He didn’t bother checking his phone and dozed for a while longer before getting bored of being in bed. Usually he would be out of bed and chatting and studying and all sorts of other things that were more active than quietly decomposing in his bed. Usually someone would have noticed that he wasn’t around and contacted him. Kyla had already called Minghao but he was hoping for someone closer to home to do something about his absence.

Minghao gave up and decided to investigate for himself. He dragged himself out of bed and was very noisy as he made his way to the bathroom just in case Eungi and Zhengting had incorrectly assumed that he had left hours ago. When Minghao went downstairs, shower fresh but still not in an entirely good mood, he was disappointed to find the other two occupants of the house present.

“Did you sleep well?” Zhengting asked quickly.

Minghao nodded as he joined them at the kitchen table. It was lunch time and Minghao was not at all surprised to see that there were take-away containers in front of them. He was surprised that both Zhengting and Eungi were swift as they supplied him with a bowl of jjajangmyeon and a glass of water. In the centre of the table was a paper bag from Burger King and Minghao wondered just how much food had been ordered. More than that, he wondered why he had been left alone for so long.

“Did you sleep well?”

Zhengting shook his head sadly but when he opened his mouth Eungi shoved his shoulder and said, “We both slept very well. I hope that you feel better after a good night’s rest.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t go to school today,” Minghao said to ease the way for an explanation.

“We wouldn’t have let you go anyway,” Zhengting said quickly. “It is always better to stay home and have fun if you’re sad.”

Minghao wanted to refute that because it sounded irresponsible but it was the sort of logic he could go along with after the past few days.

“Jungjung-hyung already called your school to let them know that you wouldn’t be going in,” Eungi explained.

“Thank you,” Minghao said after he swallowed down a huge mouthful. “I feel a bit silly about it all now though.”

Eungi shook his head sadly but Zhengting beat him to the punch. He all but lunged across the table to grasp Minghao’s hand. “You shouldn’t feel silly. Your feelings were hurt. You are banned from going to school until you feel better.”

“He’s right, Minghao,” Eungi said gently. “Your education is important but none of that means anything if you are feeling down. You need to concentrate on feeling better for a few days. The world will still be there in a week. School will still be there, it is just about ensuring you can cope with it before you go back.”

Minghao nodded. He appreciated the advice but that didn’t change the fact that he had gone around upsetting people and getting himself so worked up because he couldn’t take responsibility. He had been stupid to do any of this in the first place and now Seunghyuk didn’t want anything to do with him because he knew how stupid it was, Euiwoong had used lots of mean words which Minghao undoubtedly deserved, Hyungseob had accidentally admitted that he no longer considered Minghao a friend and was currently heartbroken. It was all Minghao’s fault and he was selfishly crying about it all because he couldn’t own up to what he had done.

He wondered whether it was a good idea that Zhengting and Eungi were so supportive of him running away from it all for a while. For the rest of the day they plied Minghao with sweets and blankets and let him doze on the sofa in front of the television. It felt strange to be relaxing this despite knowing that he should have been elsewhere but Minghao allowed himself to relax into the day and not think so hard about everything.

It was going swimmingly, as long as Minghao focused on not thinking at all about what his friends might have been doing at any moment, and he even felt that he was becoming that better person he had been hoping to turn into. It stopped going so well when the doorbell rang and Eungi shot up from Zhengting’s chest to investigate. Minghao couldn’t help laugh as Zhengting shushed him conspiratorially and crawled on his hands and knees from the living room to follow.

Minghao got up just to watch Zhengting make a nuisance of himself tickling the back of Eungi’s knee to interrupt any possible sense Eungi could get out of the person he was speaking to through the intercom. It was all very funny and a bit cute until it became apparent that the visitor was here to see Minghao. All that forgetting about the world and learning how to cope meant nothing at all when the world came to find him, quite wilfully.

Everything happened so quickly that Minghao couldn’t even work out when it was that Park Siyeon managed to convince Eungi that Minghao wanted to see her. If he thought he felt stupid before, he most certainly felt stupid sitting across the kitchen table from Siyeon while wearing grubby clothes that nobody else was ever meant to see. He wasn’t dressed for a visitor but Siyeon had waved away the problem as though it was nothing at all as she politely accepted a drink of lemonade and rejected the offer of snacks.

Behind Siyeon’s head, Minghao could see Eungi and Zhengting peeking around the doorframe to be nosy. Zhengting was making faces, so Minghao assumed he remembered her calling him old, but Eungi’s eyes were narrowed with interest as he did a poor impression of a person who wasn’t there at all.

Minghao would have preferred to have this conversation in complete privacy. It seemed like it would be serious because he didn’t think he knew Siyeon well enough for her to invite herself over so freely. But she was completely relaxed as she sipped her glass of lemonade. She smiled at Minghao sympathetically.

“It was good that you didn’t go to school today,” She said.

“Why is that?”

“Jeon Somi was looking for you,” Siyeon said wryly. “And not in a good way.”

“Why was she looking for me?”

Siyeon’s expression faltered. Minghao wished that it hadn’t. The confusion of Siyeon’s ease was much more preferable than the confirmation that this wasn’t a good sort of visit.

“Daehwi is still very upset.” Of course he would be. It was only yesterday that Minghao suspected that Daehwi had sent him away so that he could cry alone. Minghao didn’t like how Siyeon had said it as though it was something Daehwi should already have been over. Minghao wasn’t over it himself, the fact that Euiwoong was entirely uninterested, and he had been thinking that way for a while before the confession. Siyeon tapped the table as she wore her smile once more. “I think Somi wanted to defend Daehwi’s honour. She loves him a lot and, despite Euiwoong’s position in all of this, this is sort of your fault.”

Minghao saw Eungi’s expression change where he was hiding in the doorway and he silently squabbled with Zhengting who was pulling him back. Minghao looked away from the scuffle and shrugged. “I didn’t know that Euiwoong-hyung would be so… strange. I only mentioned Daehwi-hyung because I thought that he must have been the person who had won.”

Siyeon shook her head at Minghao’s choice of words. “After hearing Daehwi cry to Somi about his efforts never being repaid, it was obvious to me that Daehwi wouldn’t be ‘winning’ anything. I feel guilty too. Daehwi has done a lot to try to be liked but all of these things that were significant for him didn’t mean anything to Euiwoong. I keep wondering whether it is partly my fault or not.”

Minghao was inclined to agree. Siyeon’s idea about having Seunghyuk pretend to be a bad boyfriend had implied that Euiwoong was the sort of person who would be unable to tolerate the mistreatment of people. In fact it seemed Euiwoong was the one doing the mistreating. But when Siyeon spoke Minghao wasn’t sure how to disguise his surprise.

“I shouldn’t have pretended to go out with him.”

Minghao managed to stop choking for long enough to splutter, “What?”

Discomfort didn’t leave Siyeon’s expression at this point. She chewed on her bottom lip and her shoulder sagged as she looked anywhere but at Minghao.

“I am only telling you this because I feel sorry about the whole thing. Please don’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t.”

Siyeon sighed. “I know that your weird dads or uncles, or whatever they are, are listening and I want you to promise that they won’t tell anyone about this either.”

Minghao didn’t even need to look in the direction of Zhengting and Eungi (who had finally stopped trying to fight against Zhengting’s restraining grip) to confirm this. He would beg as much as he had to in order to keep this quiet. “Nobody will even know that you came to see me.”

“Somebody already knows I am here,” Siyeon muttered.

“What do you mean?”

Siyeon only held Minghao’s curious gaze for a moment before she said, “I asked Seunghyuk-oppa to show me the way.”

Minghao shouldn’t have let himself be baited so easily. It wouldn’t have made sense for Siyeon to have asked anyone else where Minghao lived. It didn’t even make sense that she was here in the first place, but he shouldn’t have been found so easily by someone from school on a day that he was skipping.

Seunghyuk would have been the first to know that Minghao hadn’t intended to attend school, assuming that even know he was keeping the routine. It didn’t feel good to remember that fact and immediately come to the realisation that Seunghyuk didn’t care enough to contact Minghao himself even to arbitrarily send him well-wishes of good health. But Seunghyuk had shown Siyeon how to reach him. He was doing everything possible not to be with Minghao himself.

Minghao shrugged off the sting. “He probably won’t tell anyone either.”

Siyeon nodded quickly. “I know.” She combed her fingers through her hair and when they reached a snag near the ends she tugged enough that her expression turned pained for a moment. And then she was composed and she levelled a stare at Minghao that kept his mouth clamped shut. “I was in a similar situation to you once. I liked one of my friends. I really liked that person. Even now I still wonder whether the feelings I have are something different to friendship. But I didn’t think she was interested in me. There was always someone prettier or cooler or funnier for her to talk to and be around. For as long as I can remember she has always been flirting with Park Soyeon.”

The name sounded familiar but Minghao wasn’t sure that he wasn’t misremembering something. Siyeon huffed, breaking the pensive tone of her voice and brusquely explained that Park Soyeon was a third year who Somi was infatuated with and that was all that Minghao needed to know. Minghao kept his mouth shut and hoped he looked attentive enough that Siyeon wouldn’t scold him again. She frowned at him as though waiting for him to interrupt again before she went on once satisfied with the silence.

“Soyeon-seonbae apparently has all sorts of good qualities and one of them is being popular and lots of people falling in love with her. So when Euiwoong asked me if I wanted to give dating a try I saw it as an opportunity to get noticed. I’m pretty too. People want to go out with me too.”

“But, Noona, you are pretty. I have heard that you are one of the most popular girls in the school because you have good grades and are involved with lots of extra-curricular activities. You already are a person that lots of people want to go out with.”

It wasn’t just from Kyla that he had heard this. Kyla had been frequently vocal about Siyeon’s good points but each mention of Siyeon was met with declarations of envy and desire from people all around the school. It was odd that she was speaking so sadly.

“Not to Somi I’m not,” Siyeon said. “I was always just a friend who reminded her when we had homework due or gave her change when she was short. With a boyfriend I had something else interesting for her to pay attention to, even if it was only in the most superficial of ways. I didn’t cook up a plan like you did. I just decided to go along with Euiwoong because I couldn’t think of many reasons not to. But the longer went out Euiwoong got more suspicious that I didn’t really like him. And I think I hurt him a bit.”

Minghao certainly knew what being hurt felt like. It must have been the most prominent reaction to being hurt, hurting other people. But in Minghao’s case he had been the one to hurt people first and now he was on the receiving end of the pain whereas it seemed that other people like Siyeon and Euiwoong ended up lashing out blindly and irresponsibly in response to the times that they were hurt.

He wondered if he hadn’t simply been hoping all along that Siyeon would eventually say, “I heard that you told him your relationship with Seunghyuk-oppa was fake. I think he might not have reacted so badly if you hadn’t mentioned that part.”

It was almost as though Minghao was absolved of all guilt in that moment. It only lasted for a second before the logical part of his brain woke him up from this irresponsible dream-land and reminded him that he had to take responsibility for at least part of this mess.

Siyeon finished her lemonade and called Minghao an idiot and he found it difficult to disagree with her. It wasn’t until he was reluctantly seeing her to the door that a thought occurred to him.

“I didn’t know you liked Somi. I thought the person you liked was Kyla.”

Siyeon frowned. “What gave you that idea?”

Minghao’s mouth felt dry. This was exactly how things were with Daehwi and Euiwoong. Minghao went ahead and assumed something and ended up dropping someone else in it. He licked the cracks of his lips and hoped he didn’t seem so dehydrated and nervous when he shook his head. “Nothing. It doesn’t matter. I think I am just being weird.”

Siyeon nodded and looked like the was about to finally leave before she looked back up at Minghao. “Do you think Kyla likes me?”

Minghao shook his head quickly. “It’s not like that, I swear. I just misinterpreted your closeness. That is all.”

Siyeon gave him a curious look. “That’s a shame,” She said quietly.

This might not have been the same as things were with Daehwi and Euiwoong. Minghao had already brought the subject up and he wondered whether things would be better if he left them like this or at least tried to clarify something. Kyla had only ever been nice to Minghao. She was mean, but still kind. For all the good things that she had to say about Siyeon, Minghao was certain there was something there. Minghao decided to be nosy and terrible just once more.

“Seeing as Somi is the person you like, would you say yes if she asked you out?”

Siyeon instantly fired the question back. “If Euiwoong asked you out would you say yes?”

Minghao would say no. It was the obvious choice after being told off so harshly for something that was only a little bit childish and inconsiderate. It was too late for Euiwoong to see the romantic intent behind it. It would have been much better for someone else to decide that Minghao was loveable for all the right reasons and tell him that it would be nice to be together.

It wasn’t just Euiwoong’s stalwart insistence that he could never return Minghao’s feelings. There was the fact that Minghao wasn’t even sure of the validity of those feelings. He had been so sure at some point that he had felt a certain way. Even on the day that he confessed Minghao was only doing it because that had been the goal all along and things were getting too comfortable the way they were.

Minghao shook his head and admitted something that he hadn’t wanted to cop to for a while. “I like somebody else.”

Siyeon smiled. “Me too. I like somebody else too.”

 

 

Minghao was glad of the weekend. It was an excuse to stay inside and not do anything without the guilt of skiving off school. He certainly needed something guilt-free after one of his now daily phone-calls with his mum revealed that she didn’t intend for him to return to China so soon.

“It’s such an awkward time for you, Minghao,” His mum had cooed soothingly. “Don’t you think it would be better to finish this year and return to China next year? I think it would look better to universities too.”

After discovering that taking time off school had real consequences seeing as he would be stuck in Korea or a while longer, Minghao felt even more like he needed some time away from stressful things. He didn’t do much and only moved from the sofa when he was told to. Zhengting nudged at Minghao with news that Eungi wanted someone to meet him on his way home and stared blankly down at Minghao when questioned about why he couldn’t go himself. It was obviously a plot of some sort and Minghao was relieved when it was simply a plot to make him get some fresh air and help buy something for dinner.

“You’re a growing boy. You should be eating home-cooked meals for some good nutrition,” Eungi had said as they browsed the fresh produce of the store ten minutes away from the house.

“You’re not cooking, are you?” Minghao asked. Eungi frowned.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

There were plenty of reasons why Eungi _shouldn’t_ cook for anybody, most of those reasons being the glaring fact that he couldn’t cook, yet Minghao was worried about Eungi’s lack of sense about it all. Minghao rescued an aubergine that Eungi was squeezing much too roughly and smiled. “How about I cook tonight? I feel a bit better and I should do something to thank you and Jungjung-hyung for being so kind to me.”

“You don’t need to thank us, Justin,” Eungi said. His voice was forced, and Minghao could tell that Eungi was already swayed by the offer.

“I should do more nice things for you,” Minghao insisted. “What would I have done without the guidance of you two? I would be parentless in a foreign country, struggling to get through each day.”

Eungi smiled and shoved gently at Minghao’s shoulder. “Why are you so cute?”

“I have to be cute so that you keep looking after me.” Minghao was already the same height as Eungi but he liked that he could use Eungi’s shoulders as leverage to get that bit taller and pout down at him dramatically. “Is it working, Hyung? Am I even cuter now? Will you look after me forever?”

Eungi giggled as he cringed away from Minghao. “You’ve gone too far now, Justin,” He reached for some celery to brandish Minghao’s way as he added, “You have to stay with me forever and forever now! I won’t let you leave me!”

It was enough that Minghao was in control of the kitchen for the rest of the day.

When the new week started, Minghao tried not to think too hard about how he was most certainly skiving and it was becoming increasingly difficult for Zhengting to make up any good excuses for why Minghao was missing so much school. Rather than rotting on the sofa he left the house to go on walks and thought up what the menu for the day would be. He even encouraged Zhengting to go jogging with him a few times when he got sick of hearing how Zhengting’s clothes were fitting a bit too snuggly. He messaged Kyla, Seonho and Samuel daily to ask how they were and to tell them not to worry about him when they told him that they missed him.

By the seventh day of hiding away, Minghao was starting to feel a bit better. Each day was manageable when he didn’t have such a single-minded focus on how he had ruined so many people’s lives. He had progressed from committing to not seeing anyone again to getting Daewhi’s number and texting an apology and a promise to make things up to him somehow, and he had tried to move on a bit. He was doing much better after Daehwi sent a ridiculously long message telling Minghao that it wasn’t really his fault, and going back to school seemed marginally better. The message seemed genuine and it was one less person who held Minghao completely accountable for something bad. He could keep going, one by one, until he had fixed things with everyone.

He was getting sick of the house and only having Zhengting and Eungi for company. Going back to school was a great idea, but even after a week away from everyone it was still a large hurdle to traverse. An even larger hurdle came his way in the form of Seunghyuk standing in front of the root vegetables in the grocery section of the shop down the road.

It was just after lunchtime but the person poking listlessly at the carrots was unmistakably Seunghyuk. Minghao had missed him. He had missed speaking easily and having someone to tell about any little thing he thought of. He missed the warmth of Seunghyuk’s hand around his own and the secretive smiles that belonged only to him even before they started pretending things. He missed the sleepy sound of Seunghyuk’s voice in the evenings, and the sharp whispers that clued Minghao in to so many things. He missed knowing that no matter what happened Seunghyuk would be there to look out for him and he would be waiting for Minghao with some comment that made Minghao’s chest feel warm and tight even though he knew that it shouldn’t.

Minghao was happy to blame Seunghyuk entirely for this. It was Seunghyuk’s fault for being so nice to look at and for having done so much to draw Minghao in for all the months until now. It was Seunghyuk’s fault that Minghao approached him.

“Seunghyuk-hyung, how are you?”

Seunghyuk flinched and bashfully scratched the back of his neck with the sort of smile that begged Minghao not to mention it. Minghao wouldn’t mention how exaggerated the reaction had been. He had more pressing matters to discuss. Namely, the reason why Seunghyuk was here at all.

“Justin. Hi. I’m good, how are you?”

“I’m good, thank you,” Minghao said because it seemed better to be positive at a time like this. The point of this week had been to get better and feel like he was a better person. It wouldn’t do to be honest and undo it all by saying that he was doing well until the point when he saw Seunghyuk so suddenly. He cleared his throat to dislodge the longing that was sticking to the back of his tongue. He said, “How come you’re not at school?”

Seunghyuk shrugged. “I didn’t feel like it.”

“But, Hyung, you have exams coming up.”

Seunghyuk’s expression turned wry. “You’re one to talk. You haven’t been to school for a really long time.”

“I’m only in my first year. It doesn’t matter so much for me.”

“Everyone is still worried about you. Everyone misses you,” Seunghyuk said. Minghao kept his mouth shut. He needed to know whether Seunghyuk specifically missed him but it was too much to ask. Seunghyuk’s recent disinterest had diminished Minghao’s desire to know the truth. It was better to not know and pretend possibilities to exist than to know for certain that he was missed or loved or cared about in all the ways he desired.

Minghao was suddenly distracted by bagging up potatoes and cleared the silly questions from his throat. “So, Hyung, why are you here instead of at school?”

“I thought I would do something bad for once,” Seunghyuk said as he slipped the plastic bag from Minghao’s fingers so that Minghao was free to inspect the loose potatoes for selection. “I wanted to take a break from… everyone. Your friends are all quite wilful, you know.”

“What do you mean?”

Seunghyuk chuckled quietly and tied the top of the bag. “Seonho is very persistent. I don’t know what me asking you to pretend to date me again has to do with his chances of flirting with Minhyun-hyung, but he won’t shut up about it.”

All the words that were clotting at the back of Minghao’s throat dried up with every drop of moisture in his mouth. All of Minghao’s intentions to be better seemed so silly now and his stupidity quickly spread to his fingers as he struggled to get a grip of the bag of potatoes Seunghyuk passed to him.

“I’m sorry,” Minghao said.

“I wish you wouldn’t be.”

Minghao didn’t know what that meant and Seunghyuk’s expression didn’t shed any light on the matter. Seunghyuk simply offered to help Minghao on his errand and helped him carry the basket as it was loaded up with ingredients on Minghao’s shopping list.

It would have been easier if they could lapse easily into chatting about nothing and joking around, but Minghao could barely return the small-talk volleyed at him by Seunghyuk. He was still recovering from the fact that he had seen Seunghyuk at all after a week of avoiding him. They had to meet at some point. They had been friends before and there was no doubt that as neighbours there was still some time for them to have to muddle around each other and work out how to be friends again until Seunghyuk went off to university and Minghao returned to China.

The walk didn’t last too long and Minghao was glad when their houses were in sight and he could look forward to having breathing room once more.

“Thank you for your help,” Minghao said as he moved to take the bags from Seunghyuk. It wasn’t so easy when Seunghyuk didn’t let go. Minghao’s whine was completely involuntary as he said, “Hyung.”

“Minghao, can we talk?”

The switch was immediate and though Seunghyuk’s voice was still soft there was a firmness to it. It was the comfort Minghao had always craved since having a first taste of it. It was addictive enough that Minghao nodded against his better judgement.

“Would you like to come inside?” Minghao asked as he gestured back to his house. Seunghyuk looked hesitant for a moment so Minghao added, “I will make sure that we aren’t bothered.”

Seunghyuk agreed and helped to carry the bags inside. He greeted Zhengting awkwardly when they were accosted moments after entering the house and did the same when Eungi came to see what all the fuss was about. They managed to get through the strange greetings quickly enough and after dumping everything in the kitchen for Eungi to put in all the wrong places, before Minghao led Seunghyuk up the stairs.

The last time Seunghyuk had been inside Minghao’s bedroom was before they pretended to break up. A part of Minghao considered that it was the reason that he had to end things. They had been far too comfortable cuddling with each other even though they had nobody to convince of their status. They had almost kissed and that was definitely the wake-up call for Minghao. Waking up had been abrupt for Minghao and for weeks he had been disorientated and staggering around still wishing for the sleep he had just lost. Now that Seunghyuk was in his room Minghao felt as though he could comfortably close his eyes and rest.

There wasn’t really anywhere to sit in Minghao’s room. There was just his bed and he had spent too long lying with Seunghyuk on his bed for it to feel appropriate at a time like this. He sat on the edge of his bed and tentatively gestured for Seunghyuk to do the same. They were here to talk. It wasn’t like before when Minghao could collapse onto his bed and pull Seunghyuk’s head onto his chest and doze together. Seunghyuk sat beside Minghao on the edge of the bed and there was a valley between them.

“What did you want to talk about?” Minghao asked.

Seunghyuk glanced around the room and smiled. Nothing had changed. It hadn’t been that long. It was just a bit messy. Nothing to smile about so much.

“It feels like it has been too long since I was last here,” Seunghyuk said.

“Yeah,” Minghao nodded. It had been far too long since Seunghyuk had pretended to be Minghao’s boyfriend but if they couldn’t even pretend that there was any affection between them Minghao would have preferred the break be longer.

“I’ve missed you, Minghao.”

Minghao had to close his eyes. He knew that Seunghyuk was still there, living and breathing and saying all the things Minghao wished that he would. But it was a bit much. Minghao missed Seunghyuk too. He missed him as a friend but he was still too selfish for that safeness to be more important than missing him as a boyfriend.

“I have missed you a lot,” Seunghyuk reiterated. A pause, and then, “Have you missed me too?”

Slowly, Minghao nodded his head. He only stopped when he felt the tentative stroke of fingertips at his jaw. The touch startled him out of the focus he was trying to keep and the flutter of his eyes opening was met with a pained expression from Seunghyuk.

“Sorry,” Seunghyuk said as he withdrew his hand.

“There’s no need for you to be sorry.”

Seunghyuk sighed. “There is. I need to apologise for a lot. I haven’t been a good friend to you, Minghao. And then all this trouble happened with Euiwoong and Hyungseob and I let you take the brunt of everyone’s irritation. I was selfish and angry and jealous and I abandoned you when you needed me.”

Minghao had felt abandoned but with Seunghyuk saying it so frankly like this is didn’t seem fair at all. Seunghyuk had been nothing but kind to Minghao, looking out for him and even going as far as to ruin his own relationships to pretend with Minghao.

“You’ve been a great friend,” Minghao said quickly. Seunghyuk had seemed even more that a great friend but it would have burned him to admit that much and hear that his feelings were one-sided.

Seunghyuk shook his head. “All this time I have been a bad friend to you. I haven’t been honest with you and after you have been through so much I realised I had to finally tell the truth.”

Minghao braced himself for the bad news, that Seunghyuk had wished to be rid of him long before now, and that he had only been talking to Minghao all this time because they were neighbours. He was desperately hoping to hear something different but it was stupid to think positively when he hadn’t changed enough in his life to yield good results. All the things he had done so far deserved bad consequences.

“When you asked me to pretend to be your boyfriend,” Seunghyuk began slowly, softly. “When you told me that you liked somebody I couldn’t help but get my hopes up. Naturally there is a reason that I was so disappointed.”

“You were disappointed?”

“Euiwoong’s alright, but… ugh, it sounds stupid but I didn’t want him to have you,” Seunghyuk said. He exhaled roughly and swiped at the shine of his eyes, chuckling softly to himself. “I wanted it to be me. I wanted you to like me.”

“What?”

“Minghao, I like you. I have liked you all along. I’m sorry that I tricked you and let you think that I was simply being a person you could rely on,” Seunghyuk said.

Minghao wasn’t sure how to react, or how he was allowed to react. He was happy to hear that Seunghyuk liked him, and his crying had to be genuine because Seunghyuk wouldn’t cry like this for no reason, but it just made Minghao feel bad. He had been quietly admitting to himself for a week that he liked Seunghyuk but for all his thoughts about being a good and nice person he had been hurting Seunghyuk all along.

“Why did you let me go on like that about Euiwoong if you liked me? I would have been upset if the person I liked constantly went on about someone else.”

Seunghyuk shrugged. “I was upset. But you like Euiwoong so if talking about him made you happy I listened because your happiness is what I wanted.”

That was terribly self-sacrificial. Seunghyuk had been doing so much to make Minghao happy, keeping quiet and enduring so much to keep the peace. Minghao’s jealousy would have made itself known much more easily and he would have likely destroyed his relationships with even more people than he already had.

“You have to understand, I really do want you to be happy,” Seunghyuk said. “I don’t want to force you in any way, but I thought today it would be nice for you to see everyone else. There is a promotion at the dessert shop and there needs to be an even number of people, so if you don’t come I won’t be able to go either.”

Minghao had an idea of what this was about. Seonho had been going on about has alleged date with Minghyun a week ago and his texts over the week had mentioned it a few times as he asked for advice on what he should wear and how much touching he could get away with before it became inappropriate.

“The couples’ promotion?” Minghao asked.

“I just thought it would be nice for you to see everyone. If you come it doesn’t mean you return my feelings or think I am pathetic enough that you have to go out with me,” Seunghyuk said quickly.

“I don’t think you are pathetic.”

“Well… forget that. How about it? Don’t you fancy seeing Seonho making a fool of himself?”

Minghao had seen Seonho make a fool of himself enough times that his cringe-worthy antics were predictable by this point. But it would still be funny. And it would be an excuse to spend some more time with Seunghyuk.

Minghao didn’t think Seunghyuk was pathetic at all. He was too good to Minghao for any of this to be pathetic. Minghao was the pathetic one, his hand trembling as he egged himself on and tried to be daring as he placed his hand on Seunghyuk’s thigh.

“I’d like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so how was that????? okay?? at least justin's bad day (that spanned across three chapters somehow???) is over!!!
> 
> next chapter will be the last one!!! i am hyped to be done with this!! it has taken so long!! hahaha!! hopefully i will be able to wrap things up nicely but don't expect too much because i am terrible!!!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A resolution of sorts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes it has been over a month TT feel free to hate me for dropping the ball on this but it is finally over!!!

Minghao tried to keep a level head but it had to be too good to be true. The only thing that he didn’t like was Seunghyuk’s insistence that going to the dessert shop didn’t mean anything. It meant a lot to Minghao, that Seunghyuk had wanted to see him enough to ask him on what was essentially a date. But that wasn’t really what it was.

This was different to how things used to be and Minghao was overly conscious of the space in between them as they went to meet everyone. It was disappointing that Seunghyuk hadn’t pressed the issue and tried to prise a reply from between Minghao’s lips, but he wasn’t that forceful of a person.

Seunghyuk was the type to hold doors open, and shield Minghao from puddles and cigarette smoke, and pull him closer when someone careless intended to barrel through the pair of them. He did it all while smiling and asking what sorts of things Minghao did with his week away from everything. Minghao could barely string two words together, the warmth from the brief touch they had dissipated too quickly and it was all he could do to think about how to reclaim it.  

Seunghyuk didn’t seem to mind any of it and smiled and always had a reply ready. The illusion was too strong and just walking alongside him had Minghao recalling all the things that were different when they were pretending to be in a relationship. Minghao couldn’t even remember how things would have been before the pretence because now all he could think of was the fact that after not speaking to him in over a week, Seunghyuk suddenly confessed. 

Seunghyuk had said that he liked Minghao all along. Minghao had been hoping to catch someone’s eye but that hadn’t worked out at all. It was a relief, now that Minghao thought about it because Euiwoong wasn’t really the person that Minghao had initially thought he was. But Seunghyuk… Minghao had ideas about Seunghyuk too. Seunghyuk was nice, he was friendly, and he was reliable. And all along he had liked Minghao. 

Minghao wondered what it was that was so likable about him. It was stupid to not know because he had wanted to be liked but when it was real it didn’t make sense. Constantly glancing up at Seunghyuk didn’t shed any light on the situation and all he saw was that same benign smile he had come to feel comfortable around. 

He felt less comfortable as they approached the dessert shop. 

“Are you alright?” Seunghyuk asked. His hand hovered awkwardly between them and Minghao couldn’t take his eyes off the hesitant stiffness of the fingers. He wanted Seunghyuk to do it, to finish the job and take Minghao’s hand into his own. There were never any problems previously and Minghao was hoping that there wouldn’t be any problems now. Seunghyuk dropped his hand to his side and Minghao looked up at his face. 

“I’m fine, I think,” he said. 

“Are you sure?”

Minghao was not sure. He tried to smile anyway just to pretend that he was. And when he opened his mouth, what came out was, “Do you really like me?”

Seunghyuk’s smile fell and he looked away for a moment. “We don’t have to talk about this right now.”

Minghao wanted to know when they should talk about this. He was hard pressed to think about anything else and already he had accidentally brought it up when trying to say that he was fine. He couldn’t trust himself to say anything. He was lucky it was just the two of them. He wouldn’t be very good company for the others. They were already almost at the dessert shop and there was no doubt that Minghao would struggle to act normally.

“Maybe we should go home,” Minghao said. Seunghyuk’s brows drew together and that was not an expression Minghao hoped to see there. 

“I’m sorry, Minghao. I really didn’t mean to pressure you over this. We can just be friends. I’m not going to expect anything or force you to be with me, but if it is too weird that’s fine too.”

Seunghyuk was too good to Minghao. He was going so far just to make Minghao comfortable when all Minghao could do was ask questions which were obviously awkward for Seunghyuk. It wasn’t that he hated the idea, because he had spent most of this week working out whether it would be possible for Seunghyuk to want to go out with him for real, but it seemed strange now. Seunghyuk liked Minghao. Seunghyuk had been jealous and upset because of Minghao yet he was still being kind and doing his best to extend the hand of friendship. 

Minghao couldn’t even offer the same courtesy. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to worry about it,” Seunghyuk said gently. He patted Minghao’s arm and it was almost the contact that Minghao wanted but the touch was gone before a blink passed and it wasn’t anywhere near enough. “It was brave of you to come out today when you have been away from everyone for so long. I’ll just let everyone know that we won’t be joining them today.”

“Are they expecting us?” Minghao asked. Seunghyuk nodded and Minghao realised that it was possible to feel worse about the situation. 

If the roles were reversed, Minghao would feel embarrassed about having to cancel plans like this. If the roles were reversed, Minghao would have been excited and told everyone about the news. Minghao had already involved so many people in his schemes to try to attract Euiwoong but he didn’t particularly mind the shame of having so many people knowing about his rejection. It was a different matter having people know about Seunghyuk seemingly being rejected - even if it was not the case.   

“I really am sorry,” Minghao said. He didn’t want Seunghyuk to be embarrassed. He also didn’t want Seunghyuk to think that he was being pitied. Seunghyuk had been kind enough to Minghao all this time and he deserved more than pity. He also deserved more than someone using him for their own gain and not even considering his feelings at any point during the process. 

“It is fine,” Seunghyuk said. His voice was soft and he was far kinder than Minghao deserved. “But I think that person waving over there is Yewon. I think I should say hello and let her know that we can’t make it.”

Minghao hadn’t even noticed anyone waving but he looked to where Seunghyuk pointed and wondered how he could have missed it. Yewon was jumping up and down and flailing her arms about outside the dessert shop. It would be rude to ignore her and directly return home. Minghao was trying to be a better person and even if he was struggling to be able to do so by acting normally, he wanted to avoid being rude where he could. 

Seunghyuk started off down the street and Minghao followed slowly. Yewon latched onto Seunghyuk’s hands when he got close enough and she beamed smiles at the pair of them. 

“It is so nice to see you both together again! Doesn’t this feel right? This is how things were meant to be from the start!” 

“Actually,” Seunghyuk said. “Justin isn’t feeling well so we’re going home instead.”

Yewon’s face fell, her jaw plummeted and when she regained control of her muscles she pouted and whined as she tugged on Seunghyuk’s arms. “But you’re already here! Everyone will be so happy to see you. Are you sure that you can’t stay for just a few minutes?”

“We really would love to, Yewon,” Seunghyuk started.

“So stay!” She interrupted. She released Seunghyuk and immediately wrapped her hands around Minghao’s. “You can stay for a few minutes, can’t you? We have all missed you terribly.”

The thing was, Minghao had missed everyone else too. He had made the most of trying to improve himself bit by bit, and he had enjoyed being spoilt in small ways by Zhengting and Eungi, but he had felt lonely at times when he wanted to know how everyone else was doing too. Being fed information via jumbled texts from Kyla and Samuel wasn’t the same as being with everyone. There was no denying how much Minghao had missed when Yewon was holding onto him like this. 

“It might be rude if we leave now,” Minghao said.

“Exactly! Everyone will hate you forever if you don’t come with us now,” Yewon asserted. 

“Be quiet,” Seunghyuk hissed. To Minghao he said, “Are you sure you can manage it?”

“Of course he can,” Yewon said. She slapped Minghao’s arm roughly and gave a hearty laugh. 

Seunghyuk remained hesitant as they entered the dessert shop but Minghao supposed he owed it to everyone else to at least greet them if they wanted him to. Kyla certainly looked as though she wanted some distraction from the situation at hand and waved wildly as soon as she spotted Yewon dragging Minghao behind her. 

Minghao would have been desperately searching for a distraction too. Sitting on the opposite side of the booth to Kyla and Siyeon were Seonho and Minhyun the waiter. Seonho hadn’t manufactured the texts - or so it seemed. Yewon pushed Minghao into the booth next to Seonho and she plonked herself beside Kyla and smiled at everyone. Seunghyuk slipped into the booth beside Minghao and did not smile. Minghao wished that he would. Seunghyuk was the one who wanted to come here in the first place. 

Everyone smiled and welcomed Minghao briefly - there was nothing heart-warming or significant about the greeting and it was as though he had hardly been gone. It was as though everyone had only seen him at school a few hours ago and they didn’t need to make a fuss over him. It was better than Minghao could have expected. There was nothing special about today and it was the same as usual. Minghao decided that he could stay for a while longer, even if Seunghyuk had quietened down. 

“Where is Sungyeon-noona?” Minghao asked, because that was more polite than asking Seunghyuk why he was suddenly so grumpy. 

“She said something about having a stomachache and then ran off to the toilet,” Seonho said.

“I don’t think she would want you saying things like that about her,” Minhyun said as he prodded Seonho’s shoulder. 

“Why not?” Yewon asked. “She doesn’t stop telling me about her bowel-movements.”

“Ah, the hallmark of a healthy relationship,” Seonho nodded sagely. Minhyun scoffed at that and prodded Seonho with much more force.

“I can only be impressed with how insistent you are about things you claim would make me your boyfriend. Which I am not and never will be,” Minhyun said. It was a certain denial, yet Seonho only grinned happily and leaned into Minhyun’s side. Minghao wondered whether it was more to do with Seonho being stubborn or just that it didn’t matter to him that he would only receive friendship from Minhyun. 

It was not the case. Seonho sighed and said, “You know, Hyung, after all of this push and pull you will fall madly in love with me. But it will be too late because I will be dating all of the top supermodels in the world and it will be you who has to seduce me.”

“What push and pull?” Minhyun asked incredulously.

“He must be referring to the push and pull of our collective guts as we retch at how disgusting the two of you are,” Siyeon said dryly. 

“Unnie,” Kyla giggled. Siyeon smiled back at her and it was nice to see them still getting along so nicely. It would be nice if something good happened to Kyla, Minghao thought. She had been awfully kind to him even when he didn’t really deserve it and Minghao hoped that whatever he was watching would result in something good. But for now they were the only ones smiling.

“Wow,” Minhyun said. “Do you know that you are being incredibly rude right now?”

Siyeon stared back at him and nodded. “Someone has to be.”

Minhyun squinted at Siyeon for a moment and then clicked his fingers. “Okay. For that you’re not getting my employee discount.”

“I thought we all had to come today because of the couples’ promotion,” Seunghyuk said.

“We did,” Yewon nodded. “We all came to support my baby in his pursuit of love, but we might as well get some extra discount. It is to help us to repair our hearts when they break after watching Seonho cry his beautiful little eyes out at being rejected for the millionth time.”

“I thought you loved me,” Seonho whined.

“Do you want to pay full price too?” Minhyun asked. 

“We aren’t getting the discount?” Sungyeon asked as she sat down at the table. She looked at Seunghyuk who was sitting opposite her and then turned to Minghao before looking around at everyone else. “You really came? It’s nice to see you, Justin. We should have got a bigger table.”

“It’s good to see you too, Noona,” Minghao said. “Why should the table be bigger?”

Sungyeon smiled and gestured vaguely to a table at the back of the shop. “We have lots of friends today.”

Minghao sat up straighter and looked to where Sungyeon had pointed. Samuel and Daehwi were standing near the back of the shop and Daehwi was smiling delicately as he listened to whoever they were talking to. Minghao craned his neck further but Seunghyuk placed his hand on Minghao’s arm to stop him from moving. At Minghao’s frown Seunghyuk shook his head. 

“Please don’t look,” Seunghyuk said quietly. He needn’t have hushed his voice if he was going to speak Chinese.

“Why?” Minghao asked. He sat down properly and Seunghyuk smiled tightly. 

“Hyungseob is on a date.”

Minghao frowned. It had only been a week ago that Hyungseob had been distraught while sobbing about how much he loved Seunghyuk and that they were meant to be together. It didn’t make sense that he would be on a date. And even if Hyungseob asserted that Seunghyuk didn’t love him, there was some sort of feeling there because Seunghyuk didn’t look entirely happy about the date. 

Half an hour ago Minghao had been confessed to but now he had to be aware of the fact that things weren’t simple. Everything had been easy and straightforward when they were pretending but now Minghao had to think seriously about genuine feelings and how more people were involved than just the two of them. Minghao needed to practice being considerate of others and there was no better person to start with than Seunghyuk. 

“Is it alright that he is on a date?” Minghao asked. 

“Of course. Why should I be bothered by that?”

“He loves you but he is on a date with someone else.”

“Good,” Seunghyuk said shortly. “He should go on a date with someone else. Isn’t that only right?” 

Minghao wasn’t so sure about that when Seunghyuk’s tone had sharpened and he was getting closer and closer to scowling no matter how hard he tried to straighten out his expression. Minghao didn’t want Seunghyuk to say things that he didn’t mean. He had assured Minghao that he didn’t want to hear a reply to his confession but even so he had feelings too. He got upset and annoyed about things too. He had something unresolved with Hyungseob that was obviously still bothering him. Minghao didn’t want Seunghyuk to think that his problems with other people didn’t matter.

“Did you want to go and talk to him anyway?” Minghao asked. “Maybe he wants to see you too.”

“I don’t want to see him,” Seunghyuk said. “Let’s stop talking about this. We’re here to see everyone else anyway.”

Seunghyuk was right. They were being rude even if Minghao was trying to be considerate. Being a better person was difficult. There was so much to concentrate on but at least he was being told about what he was doing wrong. He apologised to the rest of the table but only Kyla seemed to be paying attention. 

“It’s fine. It’s nice,” She said. Minghao wasn’t sure what exactly was nice but Kyla’s smile was encouraging and he returned the expression. 

Yewon and Sungyeon were quietly muttering to each other and hiding behind a menu right up until Daehwi and Samuel arrived at the table. 

“Oh,” Seonho said. Sungyeon and Yewon looked up in unison and it was almost terrifying how synchronised their plastic smiles formed. Seonho’s smile was more genuine but also a little muddled. “You’ve finally come to join us.”

“Yeah,” Samuel shrugged. “Daehwi-hyung wanted to talk to Woojin-hyung before he left.”

Minghao noticed how Seunghyuk trained his eyes on the table. Minghao almost didn’t notice Hyungseob and Park Woojin taking the long way around to leave the dessert shop. Minghao didn’t even try to catch Hyungseob’s eye because he wasn’t sure what the reaction would be. The last time he had seen Hyungseob he had made him cry and right now he was trying not to be judgemental about the fact that Hyungseob was on a date. He looked back to Seunghyuk and wondered whether physical contact was off-limits now that things had changed. He cautiously poked Seunghyuk’s thigh and should have expected the sudden jolt and betrayed expression. 

“Um, are you okay?” Minghao whispered. It was a bit pointless seeing as Seunghyuk had done a good enough job at attracting everyone else’s attention and he only replied by nodding tersely. With all the attention directed at him there was no way of avoiding meeting Daehwi’s eyes. 

“Hi, Justin,” Daehwi said brightly. He even waved for good measure and Minghao returned the gesture awkwardly. “Are you feeling better?”

It was a strange question because Minghao wasn’t ill and Daehwi had come out the worst from the last conversation that they had. Daehwi was smiling and he even looked like it might have been happiness rather than politeness. Minghao wanted to know how Daehwi was holding up since breaking down after finding out that Minghao was the person who had complicated things between him and Euiwoong. Minghao had felt fine about being rejected by Euiwoong. It was disappointing that the person he had been aiming for this whole time had been so harsh in his disinterest but there were other things that Minghao had been perturbed by. Upsetting Daehwi had been one of them and facing him for the first time felt strange. 

“I’m alright,” Minghao said quietly. Daehwi’s mouth stretched into a genuine smile and his eyes crinkled pleasantly. His smile didn’t even budge as Minghao asked, “Are you better?”

“I’m wonderful, Justin, I promise. You don’t need to worry about me at all, okay? I’m your hyung so I have to do the worrying!” Daehwi said. Minghao didn’t really want Daehwi to do any worrying but he nodded anyway and Daehwi winked at him. He patted Samuel’s arm and pouted. “But it looks like Muel and I will have to sit on opposite sides of the table. Will you miss me?”

Samuel chuckled. “I don’t know if we will even fit.”

“Yeah you will, easily!” Seonho said as he climbed into Minhyun’s lap. Minhyun groaned weakly but Seonho wasn’t displaced even after Minghao waited so he shuffled over and Seunghyuk did the same to create some space. On the other side of the table Yewon smiled warmly at Seonho before turning to look up at Daehwi. 

“You should sit on Sungyeon’s lap,” Yewon proposed. 

“Is that a good idea?” Daehwi asked.

“Yes, is that a good idea?” Sungyeon repeated with some significant emphasis that went right over Yewon’s head. 

“Of course! We can all fit nicely and have a good time!”

Minghao wasn’t so sure about that and Daehwi looked apprehensive in the moment before he delicately perched on Sungyeon’s knee. He immediately leapt up again, laughing nervously and looking around. 

“I’ll find another chair.”

“Why couldn’t that have been the idea before Seonho decided to crush me?” Minhyun groaned. He yelped and hit his knee on the bottom of the table and Seonho looked very pleased with himself. 

“Hyung, you literally slapped my ass earlier and now you’re calling me fat? Is this your way of flirting? It isn’t very effective, you know,” Seonho said. 

“Why do you say things like this? You told me there was a spider,” Minhyun grumbled. He pushed Seonho out of the way to give Minghao a very serious look as he said, “He tricked me.”

“I believe you.”

Minghao did mostly believe it. Seonho was incorrigible at the best of times, not even toning it down when they were in school and there were teachers about, but Minghao was suspicious of how Minhyun was so determined to protest his innocence. He had essentially asked Seonho on a date, which was strange even if he did pretend otherwise. Not that Minghao had any room to talk about pretending. 

Seunghyuk was sitting very stiffly beside Minghao and it was obvious that joining everyone else had been a mistake. They should have gone straight home after all. 

“I should have listened to you earlier,” Minghao said quietly.

“Whatever for?” Seunghyuk asked. 

Minghao leaned in a bit closer, felt relieved that the hand he rested on Seunghyuk’s shoulder wasn’t shaken off, and whispered, “You said we should go home after I got scared. I ignored you and now you’re having a bad time.”

“I’m not having a bad time. You wanted to see everyone else. It was my idea in the first place,” Seunghyuk said. “Stop thinking about me for a bit and try to have fun.”

The thing was, Minghao hadn’t been thinking about Seunghyuk at all for months and months. Seunghyuk had been self-sacrificial the entire time and it had taken far too long for Minghao to consider that Seunghyuk wasn’t just something that spat out pre-programmed affection to help trick someone into getting jealous. Seunghyuk was a person who put up with far too much because he said he liked Minghao. He had done so much for so long because he was thinking of Minghao and when he finally admitted to the reason why he was so kind - why he had gone along with a plan that was stupid no matter how Minghao tried to rationalise it - he was trying to brush it all aside. 

If anything, Minghao needed to think about Seunghyuk now more than ever. 

Seunghyuk said he liked Minghao and Minghao liked Seunghyuk back. Minghao had been realising it for a while but he had pushed it to the back of his mind because of the original goal. Minghao had still hoped that he had a chance with Euiwoong despite his growing attachment to Seunghyuk. He had severed everything he had with Seunghyuk simply to get rejected by Euiwoong. 

Over the past week Minghao had wondered how things would have differed if he had tried to forget about Euiwoong. He was a friend who would always be handsome and polite and someone to admire in every aspect. Minghao could have saved himself from feeling disappointed over the rejection and he could have saved himself from feeling like he was losing Seunghyuk and not knowing how he was supposed to get him back. 

Over the past week Minghao had wondered what things would have been like if he was a good boyfriend, a person that Seunghyuk wanted to treasure. 

“Are you having fun?” Minghao asked. There was no point in doing as he was told and trying to have fun if Seunghyuk wasn’t. He was here for Seunghyuk, he was here because Seunghyuk had summoned some courage and asked him here, and he was here because he hoped Seunghyuk would be brave again for both of them and end the day by making this into something with narrower definitions. 

“Of course,” Seunghyuk said. It was a lie but there was no room for Minghao to challenge it. Seunghyuk began to ask around the table for what they were thinking of ordering and Minghao was left wondering how he could change things. 

Minghao’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He withdrew it quickly and had no clue why Kyla would be messaging him when she was sitting on the other side of the table. He held his breath and opened the text. 

Kyla: Are you okay?

Minghao looked up and Kyla was engrossed in the menu, pointing out things to Siyeon. Minghao couldn’t think of anything that he was supposed to do other than reply without making it obvious. Seunghyuk was listening to Sungyeon and Yewon talking about some kids in their year who had forgone studying to be annoyingly and sickeningly in love all around the school (which Minghao didn’t think was a particularly sensitive topic to be discussing but he didn’t have room to talk about sensitivity). Samuel and Daehwi’s conversation was muted with lots of raised eyebrows (Samuel) and pouting (Daehwi) right up until the point Daehwi looked over and locked eyes with Minghao. 

Minghao looked away quickly but he could tell that Daehwi maintained the gaze for a few beats longer. It was nothing. It had to be nothing. Even now Minghao wasn’t good enough to properly address some things. The message on his phone was easier. 

Justin: I’m fine. How are you?

Kyla: I didn’t mean it like that. 

Kyla: Are you and Seunghyuk-oppa comfortable?

Minghao glanced at Seunghyuk and noted how he was determined not to look at Minghao’s phone. There was a chance he had already seen, or he already knew that Minghao was talking to someone. He was intuitive about these sorts of things and the stiffness as he sat beside Minghao attested to some discomfort. But he seemed determined to act otherwise. 

Justin: I’m not sure.

Kyla: Do you need to make up an excuse to leave?

Kyla was looking expectantly at Minghao when he lifted his eyes to meet hers. She was far too prepared to help Minghao. He didn’t deserve her. Her eyes were brimming with earnest clarity and Minghao wished there was something he could do that would feel even close to a repayment of her kindness. 

Justin: We are fine for now.

Justin: But what sort of excuses do you have?

Kyla: Lactose Intolerance.

Kyla: Cactus needs watering.

Kyla: You left the oven on.

Kyla: Food poisoning.

Kyla: Jungjung-oppa called to tell you that Beyonce is visiting.

Kyla: Need to buy some milk.

Justin: if I’m lactose intolerant?

Kyla chuckled but she hid her phone in her lap when Siyeon tried to peer over her shoulder. Siyeon narrowed her eyes but she didn’t push any further when Kyla smiled affably. 

“What do you want to order?” Siyeon asked. Her tone was too level but she was clearly making an effort not to be nosey about what Kyla was laughing about. 

Kyla smiled, bright and warm, and she pointed dramatically to something on the menu which made Siyeon’s eyes widen. “Unnie, we should share this one.”

“What’s that?” Yewon asked loudly as she leaned over Kyla to squint at the menu. Sungyeon glared at the back of her head and was only half-way to a fake smile when Yewon looked at her. Yewon didn’t care at all about interrupting Sungyeon and hauled her closer to the menu that Siyeon was now pretending out of existence. “Look. Kyla wants to share this with Siyeon.”

“Oooh,” Sungyeon said, grin turning sly as she sat back and pulled Yewon with her. 

Yewon nodded and smiled back. “Oooh!”

“What is it?” Seonho asked, stretching across the table to read the item in question. Kyla’s hand was rather helpfully still pointing at the menu. “Love in Springtime. What’s that?”

“Oooh,” Minhyun said in lieu of an explanation.

“What is it, Hyung?” Seonho whined.

“Whatever it is it sounds nice,” Daehwi sighed. He started to search through the menu until he found it. His eyes widened like Siyeon’s had and he read aloud. “A sundae to share between lovers. Lavender and rose flavoured ice creams layered with red bean paste, candied flowers, and fresh strawberries, and topped with whipped cream, chopped almonds, hundreds and thousands and two cherries (to share).”

“That sounds weird,” Samuel said. “Do those flavours go well together?”

“It’s sweet! There’s two cherries,” Daehwi said, jabbing the menu and holding it in front of Samuel’s face. “Doesn’t that sound nice! It’s romantic!” 

“Oooh!” Sungyeon, Yewon and (surprisingly) Minhyun cooed in unison. Siyeon’s face darkened yet nobody was tempted to heed the warning of thunderclouds rolling in. 

“It’s not a big deal,” Siyeon said, carefully measuring the breaths in her voice. “I would love to share, uh, that with you, Kyla.”

“I’m sure it will be extra delicious,” Kyla said. Her voice was gentle and her eyes sparkled with her smile This was worth sticking around to see. Siyeon managed a small smile in response even as she made a threatening gesture to Sungyeon and Yewon (possibly not to Minhyun in fear of losing the discount completely).

Minghao could understand where Kyla was coming from. No matter what he ordered it wouldn’t taste anywhere near as good as stale cake held out apprehensively on a fork held between fingers that trembled elegantly. 

“It doesn’t sound very delicious,” Samuel said. 

“What would you know?” Seonho asked. “You don’t even know how good things taste from the hands of the person you love.”

“What are you doing?” Minhyun asked, alarmed. Seonho was struggling with both hands to lift Minhyun’s hand while poking his tongue between his teeth. 

“Please don’t lick Minhyun’s-hyung’s hand,” Minghao said.

“I’m begging you too, Seonho, don’t lick anyone’s hand,” Kyla said. Her smile had slipped right off her face but compared to this new expression, Siyeon was positively glowing. 

Seonho dropped Minhyun’s hand and looked along the table at Daehwi. “How about you, Hyung, is your hand available?”

“Seonho, we are all begging you to stop,” Samuel said, exasperated. “You won’t like what what I will do to you if you don’t pack it in.”

Seonho wiggled his eyebrows. “Maybe I will like it.”

“I can’t believe you’re sitting on my lap while you toss me aside like this,” Minhyun said.

Samuel cut off Seonho’s reply with a stern, “Stop!”

“Stop!” Seonho said in English. Samuel seethed and Seonho made the stupid babbling sounds that he was prone to. And Seunghyuk snickered quietly. 

“Are you laughing?” Minghao asked quietly (not as quietly as he wanted to with Yewon joining in the nonsense babble with Samuel and Seonho). Seunghyuk pressed his lips together and shook his head. “I heard you laugh.”

“Only a little bit,” Seunghyuk admitted. 

But he did laugh and that was more than enough for minghao. Seunghyuk’s mood had improved enough for him to laugh at Seonho being stupid. Minghao felt some of the pressure in his chest ease and he returned the smile. 

“Why do you have to be like this all the time?” Minhyun groaned. “You’re too young to be licking anyone’s hands.”

“Only if they’re not yours,” Seonho retorted as he grabbed Minhyun’s hand again. 

“What will it take for you to calm down about this?” He asked, his resistance absent as Seonho succeeded in bringing his phone to his mouth and gave a tentative lick. And then he swatted Seonho over the head and said, “You’re kind of a monster, you know. I wish I knew how to get you to cool it.”

“Tell him he is a child and he needs to stop calling you,” Samuel suggested.

“Make me yours. Tell the whole world and defend me to your last breath,” Seonho said solemnly. 

“That sounds awfully serious,” Sungyeon said. “Why would you need defending against?”

“Aside from a grown man?” Samuel said. 

“What are you trying to say, Samuel?” Minhyun asked. “It sounds like you’re saying something with more serious consequences than having to pay full price today.”

“You’re letting him sit on your lap,” Samuel pointed out. There was reproach in Daehwi’s voice as he tried to intervene but Samuel shook off his hand and raised his voice. “Am I saying anything untrue? Isn’t it a bit weird to anyone else?”

“It’s not that weird, I sit on your lap all the time,” Seonho said.

“This is really awkward so I would love to not be here but I also need to see how this pans out,” Sungyeon muttered. 

“I know,” Yewon whispered back. “I have never once seen Seonho sit on Samuel’s lap.”

Kyla shushed them and Sungyeon and Yewon mimed zipping their lips.

“He apparently sits on your lap all the time, Samuel, you should know how clingy he is,” Minhyun said. There was an odd weight in his tone but Minghao was more focused on working out how he and Seunghyuk could escape unscathed. He flinched at the slice of words when Minhyun went on, “I know exactly what this is and it isn’t anything weird. He asks me for advice sometimes. Usually he asks me to buy him food but sometimes advice too.”

Minghao wondered what nuance he was missing, and he considered asking Seunghyuk later if he had any ideas but then Samuel scoffed, “You can’t really make this sound like something sweet and heartwarming, Hyung. Seonho’s just using you anyway.”

Minhyun nodded. “I hardly used my staff discount here until Seonho took to bothering me.”

Seonho shifted uncomfortably on Minhyun’s lap as though conflicted between trying to act normal and launching himself across the table to strangle Samuel to death. Looking normal won out, but Minghao didn’t think that was for the best when Samuel next opened his mouth. 

“He’s using you for protection.” Seonho glared at Samuel after the words had so proudly been said, but there wasn’t much malice there because Seonho’s mouth twitched when Siyeon muttered something about protection which had Kyla giggling behind her hands. Minhyun frowned and Samuel ensured he had direct eye contact when he said, “Seonho tried to kill Jungmin-seonbae’s pet snake the other day. If Jungmin-seonbae’s friend catches Seonho on his own she said she will chop him up and feed him to the snake.”

“What?” Minhyun said, sounding impossibly confused. 

“A school is no place for exotic creatures,” Seonho said primly. Minghao found that he agreed until the point when Seonho was unceremoniously dumped into his lap. His lap was no place for Seonho who wailed and writhed as though reacting to a venomous bite. Minghao didn’t think his femurs would cope under the weight of Seonho’s dessert-stuffed body or his dramatics.

“How much of a menace are you?” Minhyun asked. “Maybe you deserve to be fed to snakes.”

Seonho wailed even louder (loudly enough to muffle the cracking of Minghao’s skeleton that maybe only Seunghyuk heard judging by the sympathetic expression on his face). He then sat up straight, concentrating his weight on the protesting of Minghao’s legs which may never recover from this, and reached across the table. Yewon smiled and linked their hands together. 

“What does my baby want now?”

“Noona, the most beautiful woman in the world, the person who birthed and raised me to be such a dashingly handsome, drop-dead sexy and perfect man, please protect me from Jungmin-seonbae’s evil friend.”

Yewon looked thoughtful for a moment (clearly not considering the repercussions of drawing this out on Minghao’s legs) and tilted her head. “You can’t make me choose like that. You’re my baby, Seonho, but Jungmin is cute and I don’t think this is the first time you have tried to assassinate one of her pets.”

“Assassinate?” Seonho squawked as Samuel confirmed, “This is not the first time.”

Daehwi must have been really glad of his decision to fetch a chair rather than sitting on Sungyeon’s lap as suggested earlier because she stood quickly, her knees bashed on the table but that was negligible when her face was already aghast. “Jungmin is what?”

Yewon looked puzzled as she looked up at Sungyeon and she raised her voice and enunciated everything much too clearly when she said, “Cute! Lim Jungmin is cute!”

“I don’t think the volume was the problem, Yewon,” Seunghyuk said. 

“Then what else could there be?” Yewon asked innocently. Siyeon elbowed Kyla who then elbowed Yewon roughly in the side and she dropped Seonho’s hands quickly. Seonho, abandoned, maybe even afraid at the prospect of being dismembered and fed to snakes, twisted on Minghao’s lap and reached  for his hand and Seunghyuk’s. 

“It has come to my attention that I am in need of some new parents,” Seonho said solemnly. 

“You had better not be implying that I was one of your parents!” Sungyeon growled as Yewon whimpered about cracked ribs.

“I don’t think I am ready to be a parent,” Seunghyuk said sincerely. “Perhaps-”

“Oppa, if you even make him look at me there will be consequences,” Siyeon warned.

Seonho turned to face Siyeon regardless of the warning (Minghao’s legs screamed). “Don’t worry about that, Noona. I wouldn’t wish whatever you think parenting is on anyone, not even the demon-spawn which hatch from the eggs you will lay in ten years.”

Siyeon yelled something back and Minghao assumed it safe to quietly say, “I think it would be alright if we did that together. I would help you, you know.”

Seunghyuk pursed his lips and for a second Minghao wished he had never bothered. This really wasn’t the right time. They should have stayed at home and tried to talk through this properly. Instead he had Seonho saying, “On second thought I wouldn’t want you as a parent either, Justin. You wouldn’t be able to guide me very well considering you have terrible judgement. I mean, all that stuff with Euiwoong-seonbae? What sort of idiot are you?”

Minghao was well aware that he wasn’t the idiot here. He wondered whether it was good or bad that several other people were also aware of how much of an idiot Seonho was. Everyone knew about Daehwi and Euiwoong to some extent. Seonho had been there when Siyeon had revealed the secret so Minghao was disappointed that the lure of food was strong enough to dislodge any semblance of sense from his brain to allow this to happen. 

Daehwi chuckled stiffly and stood up. He took his phone out of his pocket and pointed at it. “The timing is just coincidental. I need to take this call.”

The thing with showing everyone his phone meant that everyone could see that the screen was still dark and there was no call to be taken. Sungyeon and Yewon stopped bickering about Yewon’s broken ribs and maybe Minghao would ask whether that was resolved later. For now his eyes were fixed to Daehwi’s retreat to the back of the dessert shop. 

Siyeon snatched the menu out of Kyla’s hands and threw it at Minhyun. “At least try to control that thing!”

“What am I supposed to be controlling?”

Minghao helpfully shoved Seonho back at Minhyun. Samuel was still sitting at the end of the booth. 

“Why are you still sitting there?” Minghao asked. Samuel frowned. 

“Do you want me to move?”

“What about Daehwi-hyung?” Minghao said pointedly. Not pointedly enough because Samuel didn’t look very bothered. 

“He said he needs to take a phone call.”

Minghao felt sorry for Kyla as Siyeon muffled a screech into her hands. Minghao only had to ask politely once (and less politely a few more times in the case of Samuel) to get Seunghyuk and Samuel to shift out of the booth so that he too could get out. 

Minghao ignored Samuel asking where he was going - it was a stupid question and he should have been able to work it out by now - but Minghao almost didn’t go when Seunghyuk held his elbow and asked, “Do you want me to come with you?”

It was almost like before. Seunghyuk was looking at Minghao steadily, in that certain way that Minghao had come to miss since the day Seunghyuk stopped looking at him at all - since the day Minghao had stood in Seunghyuk’s bedroom and decided for both of them that they would stop pretended. Or was it the day before when Minghao had felt sleepy and soft and his senses only sharpened enough in the moment before Seunghyuk shoved him away because the air between them had thinned too much - and Minghao’s chest felt tight. He wanted Seunghyuk to stay by his side on the off-chance that something shifted in the time they were apart, but Minghao had to remind himself that everything was paused indefinitely. It was a problem for later. For now Minghao had to try to do the right thing to rectify places where he had been the one to go wrong. 

“I’m just going to see if Daehwi-hyung is alright.”

“You’re really good, you know,” Seunghyuk said. Minghao wanted to ask what that actually meant but this still wasn’t the ideal situation to talk about anything. He smiled and Seunghyuk dropped his hand. 

Daehwi was where Minghao expected him to be. Well, no, that wasn’t quite right. Daehwi was standing outside the toilets. The lock on the door was vacant so Minghao could only assume Daehwi wanted someone to talk to up until the moment Daehwi watched him approach in alarm. 

“What are you doing here?”

“I came to see if you were alright,” Minghao explained.

Daehwi blinked a few times, confusion not vanishing with any of the flutters of his eyelashes, and then gave Minghao a hard look and said, “I think I am.”

“Are you sure? Seonho doesn’t think before he speaks sometimes.”

“I really am fine,” Daehwi insisted. “The phone call was just-”

“Hyung,” Minghao interrupted, “Nobody was calling you.”

Daehwi folded his arms and looked up at Minghao more forcefully. “Do you think I was lying? It was a missed call. It was Euiwoong.”

“What?” Minghao asked flatly. He hoped that his disbelief could be forgiven because this was getting less and less likely by the second. “Why would Euiwoong-hyung have called you?”

“I was curious too,” Daehwi admitted. He flipped his hair and huffed. He seemed in too good of a mood to have actually spoken to Euiwoong, so Minghao was confused. Daehwi, almost smiling if Minghao squinted hard enough, went on, “I was trying to ignore the call because Samuel had been nice and invited me out with the promise that I could get forty percent off whatever I wanted, but then Seonho called you an idiot. Your own friend called you an idiot for liking Euiwoong, so what did that make me? No fool as ridiculous as me has ever lived. So I decided to call Euiwoong and maybe shout at him a bit, but do you know what happened instead?”

There wasn’t enough time for Daehwi to have shouted at Euiwoong, not if he was going to say all the things he should have said (not even if he just screamed wordlessly into the phone, because Minghao suspected that sort of thing might have taken a while too considering what Euiwoong had done to him). Minghao shook his head and Daehwi smiled wryly. 

“He told me to shut up. And then he said he was sorry and hung up.”

“Is that good?” Minghao asked cautiously. It didn’t sound very good but Daehwi was still smiling. 

“No, Justin, it’s absolutely terrible. He didn’t mean it at all!”

“Right. It’s just that you’re smiling and saying bad words so I think I am misunderstanding.”

“Bad words?” Daehwi repeated. He turned pensive for a moment as he took Minghao’s hand into his own and said, “I’m just a little bit excited I think. I have never felt like this about anyone before, Justin. I think I really hate Euiwoong, isn’t that wonderful?”

Minghao wasn’t really sure what to say. Hating someone didn’t sound very wonderful but Daehwi had plenty of reason to feel that way.

“Should we go back to the table?” Minghao asked. 

“I’m not sure, I feel like I want to hit someone,” Daehwi said gleefully. 

Minghao knew that he didn’t have much room to talk but Daehwi hardly looked capable of doing damage to anyone other than himself. Minghao hoped Daehwi didn’t try to hit anyone. But he reconsidered and said, “You should hit Seonho. Or get someone to hit Seonho for you.”

“I don’t think that’s how hate works,” Daehwi said. 

“It does!” Minghao said. “I am sure Siyeon is begging for an excuse to hit Seonho. If not her we could ask Kyla really nicely. She is too kind to do it really but once she accidentally threw a blackboard eraser at my head. I think all the problems I have now are because she gave me brain damage.”

Daehwi laughed, loud and genuinely happy. Hate seemed to be good for Daehwi. “You’re cute, Justin.”

Daehwi didn’t hit anyone (or ask anyone to hit someone for him) when they got back to the table but he was in competition for how much sugar he could devour. Minghao envied his voracious appetite and only ate small spoonfuls of the sundae he ordered. 

Seunghyuk had chocolate cake, as usual, and Minghao already knew that it wasn’t a particularly nice cake. Seunghyuk caught him looking mid-mouthful and raised his eyebrows with a question that was better unanswered. Minghao smiled and went back to his ice cream and waited until it was time to go home.

 

Minghao’s chest felt oddly stiff when he arrived home. It didn’t feel full (of anticipation, or of the disappointment that surged through him when Seunghyuk said goodbye and waited for Minghao to disappear behind the front gate) and it didn’t feel empty (of all the expectations that had kindled together and turned to ash) and he waited a few moments before he opened the front door. 

When he did open the door, found himself scooped into a flurry of limbs and questions about his wellbeing, he wondered whether things like this gave Zhengting warning. If Minghao entered the house immediately instead of giving Zhengting time to react to the sound of the front gate, would he have to wince his way through an inquisition every day. 

Eungi was just as bad, pinching Minghao’s cheeks and prodding his forehead to help pick his brains about how the evening had gone. 

“It was fine,” Minghao insisted when he could finally breathe and Zhengting and Eungi weren’t shaking his shoulders and demanding answers. “I ate ice cream.”

“I want ice cream,” Zhengting mused as he clung tighter to Minghao’s arm. “Can we get ice cream too?”

“We have ice cream in the freezer,” Eungi pointed out. Zhengting pouted. 

“I want different ice cream.” 

“You won’t be having any ice cream at all if you keep this up,” Eungi said as he linked arms with Minghao and led him to the living room. “Justin and I will eat every last drop of the stuff.”

“You wouldn’t do that to me,” Zhengting muttered. “You love me too much.”

“If you say so.”

Zhengting stopped in his tracks, aghast, while Eungi sat down beside Minghao on the sofa. He didn't speak for a moment so Minghao returned the odd smile that was being sent his way. 

“Is everything alright, Hyung?” Minghao asked. 

“Um, yes?” Eungi said, pulling at the creases in the knees of his trousers. “Are you sure you don't have any news?”

Minghao did want to talk about how the day went but he wasn't even sure if there was anything worth mentioning. He and seunghyuk had managed to exist civilly and Minghao had been annoyed that he didn't get any more than that. 

Even now he wondered whether this was something selfish or not. He was struggling with working out how much it was polite to share and how much was a burden that the listener could do without. 

Eungi dipped his head into Minghao’s field of vision and rested his hand on his knee. “I want to know, Justin.”

It was as though he could pinpoint the exact cause of Minghao’s discomfort and, though it was nice, it was scary to have to admit certain things to himself let alone to someone who cared so much.

“It was okay,” Minghao said. “But I don’t think I am quite ready to go to school yet.”

There was a loud cheer from the hallway. Zhengting dashed into the living room with a tub of ice cream raised above his head. He faltered when he saw Eungi’s unimpressed face and cheered more quietly as he perched on the sofa with Minghao safely between him and Eungi. 

“It’s good that even though you miss your friends you want to stay with us.”

Eungi chuckled and rolled his eyes. “It is good that you are still taking things slowly.”

“If you promise to stay with us forever you can have as much ice cream as you like,” Zhengting said. “Even if Eungi says you can’t I will let you have some of my secret ice cream.”

“I never said Justin couldn’t have ice cream. In fact, I never said you couldn’t either. I said we couldn’t go out for more ice cream.”

“But I want fun ice cream. I want what Justin ate,” Zhengting grumbled as he scooped ice cream straight from the tub and into his mouth. 

“We can go out for ice cream together when Justin goes back to school To celebrate,” Eungi said. It was as good a compromise as any especially, when Zhengting was already stuffing his face, but Zhengting looked inclined to disagree.

He looked at Minghao very solemnly and said, “Please hurry up and go to school.”

 

Minghao took his time. There were still things he felt like he needed to do before he faced everyone properly. He went on a few more jogs, and he introduced more vegetables into Zhengting’s meals, and he he called his mum and asked how her life was going instead of complaining about his own, and he resolved to sort things out properly. 

The alarm rang too loudly in the morning and Minghao was tempted to switch it off and roll over for a few more hours of sleep but Eungi and Zhengting skipped into the room, singing loudly and eventually dragging him out of bed. 

It took a lot of preparation in the form of hugs and being told he looked very handsome in his uniform, but Minghao left the house a few minutes early and waited for Seunghyuk to step through the front gate next door. It had only been a few days but Minghao thought that Seunghyuk was the most handsome of all in the uniform. There was something chic about him as he set off for school and Minghao was all for appreciating the view until he remembered why he was out early enough to watch him. 

“Hyung,” Minghao called out. Seunghyuk’s footsteps stuttered and he whiled around with surprise scrawled across his face. 

“Justin, what are you doing here?”

Minghao wanted to be cool and say something like “Isn’t it obvious” with a smirk and entice Seunghyuk into following along. But Minghao wasn’t that cool. He was just happy to see Seunghyuk and return to the routine he had missed. 

“I’m coming to school,” Minghao said. Seunghyuk smiled and waited for Minghao to catch up. 

It wasn’t a particularly warm welcome back, but it was what Minghao needed. He and Seunghyuk didn’t talk much but Minghao was glad of that. He didn’t want to say too much now when he wanted to have a proper talk after school. Mentioning anything in the morning could have set Seunghyuk on edge before they had to greet Hyungseob and Euiwoong. 

Nobody treated Minghao like they especially missed him (aside from Kyla who hugged him tightly, a permanent smile etched on her face, and warned him to never mention it again) and things were normal. They were good. Everything was almost perfect. Minghao had a heavy homework load so that he could catch up on work but Seonho pushed his glasses up his nose and put himself in charge of tutoring him (for a fee which would leave Minghao in debt for life because he doubted there was enough food in the whole world).

And then the end of the day came too quickly and Minghao ended up inviting Seunghyuk inside as an afterthought because he hadn’t even been aware of how he arrived home. 

  
  


It was too familiar of a scene, having Seunghyuk sitting beside Minghao on his bed, but there were slight differences to the norm. They weren’t reclining and curling into one another and were sitting with a vague distance between them that Minghao struggled to look away from. The spaces between them had grown so vast recently. Minghao found that he could not stop measuring the gaps in units such as the amount of breaths it took for Seunghyuk to reach out for him, or the millimetres between his fingers which ached to be filled with the solid certainty of hands which knew his own so well. 

Minghao closed his eyes to stop himself from counting when the seconds it took for Seunghyuk to reach his gaze reached double figures. Seunghyuk had nodded eagerly and said there was something he wanted to talk about too but despite all the attempts Minghao had been making recently to consider other people he was still selfish. There was still only one thing that he wanted to hear and nothing else would do. 

He curled his fingers back from where they rested on the bed, waiting for the atoms of air resting on the surface of his skin to be disturbed by the brush of a hand which had been gone for too long. Minghao clamped his hands between his thighs and after counting to ten he opened his eyes and finally found the impossible dark of Seunghyuk’s irises. 

“Sorry,” Seunghyuk said. “I’m a bit nervous.”

What was there to be nervous about? Seunghyuk simply had to say what he wanted - what Minghao wanted if all the half-truths he had told himself weren’t to be proven false - and Minghao would do whatever he wanted. At this point Minghao would have been fine to hear that Seunghyuk had changed his mind and all the feelings he thought he had turned out not to be anything at all. 

It was the last thing that Minghao actually wanted to hear but after everything that Seunghyuk had done for him it would only be fair to allow him to decide for both of them. 

Minghao had his taste of love even if he had taken it for granted at the time. Seunghyuk had held him and searched out any way to make him smile, and smoothed out the creases in Minghao’s forehead when he was annoyed or sad, and he had made him want - triggered the germination of desire for things Minghao hadn't even thought of before. Minghao wanted to like all the things that Seunghyuk liked and he wanted to know all the things that Seunghyuk knew and he wanted to succumb to his greed and have Seunghyuk learn all there was to know about him - and Minghao was grateful for all of that. Even if he hadn’t appreciated what he had at the time because he was so busy chasing after someone else, Minghao was glad that feelings had taken root and Seunghyuk was in his heart. 

Minghao was glad to be able to have loved Seunghyuk even if it had taken him too long to get there. Even if all he was going to get out of this was the memories that weren't quite real and the regrets that he hadn't done things differently, he was determined to treasure them. 

Minghao was calm, waiting, so there was no need for Seunghyuk to be nervous at all. Minghao on the other hand was terrified that the lies he was telling himself weren't yet ready to yield a gracious reaction to whatever Seunghyuk had to say. He saw no harm in being partially truthful, nourishing his words with something that made him sound more believable. 

“I'm nervous too.”

Seunghyuk laughed uncomfortably and dropped his head into his hands. When he looked back up at Minghao he looked exhausted. 

“After everything it is difficult to speak honestly.”

Minghao agreed with that. They had pretended for so long that it almost felt real. The ways they progressed had seemed so organic at the time as they decided where to draw their boundaries and how strictly they should stick to them, but it hadn't been real. It was real to Minghao in spite of the reason that brought them together, and it didn't help to know that Seunghyuk had liked him since before they started it all. 

It felt like a deception, Seunghyuk taking something different from everything that they had when Minghao wished he could have cherished everything in the same way. Though Seunghyuk didn't look much like he cherished the memories. He grimaced at his lap for a moment and muttered.

“It would have been easier to continue the way things were.”

“Maybe we aren't meant to be honest with each other,” Minghao said. He had tried to be light about it but Seunghyuk only looked grim. 

“You deserve honesty though, Minghao.” Minghao shook his head quickly. And Seunghyuk went on, “This whole time I was lying to you. I told you that I supported you when all I really wanted was for you to fall out of love with Euiwoong and choose me.”

“I wasn’t in love with him,” Minghao said. “I just liked him.” 

He had intended the words to be an encouragement for Seunghyuk to speak what was on his mind. Instead his face was dull with the silent question of ‘what about me.’ What about Seunghyuk indeed. Minghao knew that the affection was present, it was all encompassing at this point and so much of the past few weeks had been Minghao’s attempts at making peace with the feelings that had sprigged and sprouted from beneath the quiet carpet of wilted idealism. 

Minghao liked the idea of a person who was well put together and easily earned the trust and respect of peers and superiors alike. He liked the idea of a handsome guy with perfect grades and perfect hair bending to all the whims that Minghao dictated based on fictional characters. Minghao liked euiwoong but he didn't love him. 

Seunghyuk was different. Seunghyuk was reluctant to get too close, yet he allowed himself to sink into the crevices of Minghao’s consciousness until it was all Minghao could do to monitor the affection they expressed and how to make the lie more genuine. Seunghyuk didn't exude the same confidence Minghao had admired in Euiwoong but Minghao implicitly trusted everything he did and said because it was Seunghyuk and he was the most reliable person in the world. Even though they went through the motions of a charade together, it became second nature to follow along the route that was drawn even when it had little to do with inciting jealousy in Euiwoong. 

It made sense to always be physically close, to hold hands, to murmur to each other in a language that came as easily as breathing instead of the clunking syllables that did nothing to endear Minghao to Euiwoong. The most important thing stopped being the attraction of Euiwoong and it quickly became the goal of appearing mostly like a real couple. Minghao became more committed to the lie than anything else and as he came to realise that he also came to realise that it wasn't as simple as a choice. 

There was no need for Minghao to choose Seunghyuk because that reality had been engineered completely. It was making the choice into the truth that was more difficult. 

_ How can we stop and make this real. I am already yours.  _

Seunghyuk had kissed Minghao on the cheek once, a barely present brush which smoldered as the space increased and the memory of Seunghyuk's breath settled against his skin forever. Seunghyuk had shoved Minghao away when their mouths ventured too much and seconds, centimetres, resolve was all that clipped them their away from what they could have had. By then Minghao just wanted anything that would have indicated that this was real and that they were more than just aping desired affection. 

Minghao stayed quiet when he could have settled the disquiet of Seunghyuk's face and without being able to meet his eyes it was impossible to tell what this was, where they were, how much time it would take. 

“I feel as though I have already used up my chances,” Seunghyuk said quietly. “First when I let our time together pass without telling you how I feel, and then when I confessed and told you not to answer.”

“How?” Minghao asked. If anything his chance was the one to have been pruned away when Seunghyuk said he had liked Minghao all along and then invited him out so that they couldn't talk about it. Minghao wanted to talk but even now with things made easy he didn't think he had enough courage. 

“We have left things for a while. We might not be in a position to meet each other halfway.”

Minghao made sure to look Seunghyuk dead in the eyes after hearing that. “Have things changed for you?”

The lie Minghao was trying to convince himself of was suddenly the most impossible thing to pretend. He was scared to say anything even now but he thought he could rely on Seunghyuk to do this one last thing and make things real. Instead Seunghyuk sounded resigned and his face was awfully glib for all the trouble his words were causing him. 

“Of course some things have changed,” Seunghyuk said. “You have had time to think things over and I… I have had time to think about what I want.”

Minghao really wouldn't be able to go on with life happily if Seunghyuk had changed his mind. Minghao couldn't see how he had missed his chance - the chance was here for the taking, Minghao was ripe and ready for Seunghyuk to pluck him from this despondency and stain his lips with dozens of words for love. 

Already Minghao felt his resolve disintegrate. He wouldn't be able to happily go about the rest of his life knowing that he could have been with Seunghyuk but they both decided not to reach that bit further because they were scared to be selfish. Because they were selfishly scared. 

Minghao had spent all this time telling himself that he was going to become a better person but he didn't have much to show by it. 

Minghao had pitied Daehwi and he had been apologetic towards Zhengting and Eungi who had looked after him do well. He was thankful towards Kyla for sticking with him despite how often he went against her advice and he was hopeful that he could return her friendship along with Seonho and Samuel's gestures. Minghao had all of these passive thoughts and feelings and he was yet to do anything that really marked him as a better person. 

A better person would be able to accept that maybe Seunghyuk no longer wanted to be with him. It was a case of understanding that they were no longer in the same place and still maintaining the friendship because even just that much was enough. A better person would take the opportunity to get a definite answer before deciding things so half-heartedly on his own. 

“What do you want?” Minghao asked. His voice was quiet but this was more than he had done before. This had to help him some of the way. Seunghyuk hesitated so Minghao rolled on the momentum. “I really like you, Seunghyuk. Somewhere along the way, while we were pretending to go out, I became more glad of having you beside me than the prospect of one day having someone else there. I know that we weren't really together but in the time that we have been apart I realised that I wanted what we had to be real. I still want that.”

Seunghyuk exhaled sharply, his breath catching roughly as it fell from between his lips and the corners of his lips turned down as his eyelashes fluttered rapidly. Minghao reached out and lay his hand heavily on Seunghyuk's knee. 

“This is weird,” Seunghyuk said. 

“Why?”

Seunghyuk smiled quickly, just a snatch of mirth before his face lapsed into confusion once more. “I never imagined talking like this with you.”

“What do you mean?” Minghao frowned. 

“I had sort of given up. I like you and I knew I had to tell you, but I had given up.”

That was understandable. Minghao had kept saying the same things about the goal he had in mind even when his body stretched to find Seunghyuk and his eyes yearned for an artificial meeting. 

Seunghyuk curled his hand over Minghao’s and they were linked together atop Seunghyuk's knee. He said, “I'm sorry for giving up.”

“It's alright,” Minghao said. “I'm sorry for everything that I put you through.”

Seunghyuk laughed, a pitiful sound and he swiped at the tracks running down his cheeks with the heel of his spare hand. Minghao did this. Over time Minghao had taken Seunghyuk for granted and now they were both too cautious for either of them to be really happy. Seunghyuk didn't need to apologise because giving up seemed like the most sensible option. 

Sometimes giving up was for the best. Giving up had been good for Minghao - fantastic, even! - but Minghao didn't think the same logic applied here. Minghao didn't want to be given up on. He liked Seunghyuk too. He hoped seunghyuk still liked him enough that the discouragement would not have too long-lasting an effect. 

Minghao took a deep breath. There was no guarantee that Seunghyuk still wanted to give up. Minghao wasn't about to give up. The last time he had confessed to someone he had been ready for a negative response - it was what he preferred - but he wasn't ready to give up on this. Minghao had tried to lie to himself and believe that he would be fine but watching the shine of taciturn tears on Seunghyuk's face was enough to for those thoughts to fizzle out entirely. 

“I want to approach you honestly with my feelings,” Minghao said. Seunghyuk's brow furrowed and Minghao leaned in closer. “I really like you, and I know I should consider your position more strongly but I can't. I'm sorry but I need you as a boyfriend more than a friend. What I mean is that if you won't be my boyfriend then I can't be friends with you.”

Seunghyuk laughed. There were worse reactions but this was bad enough when Minghao did not know what it meant. Seunghyuk gripped Minghao’s hand more tightly and smiled. 

“You really can say selfish things.”

It was Minghao’s turn to frown. He had been selfish all along, demanding seunghyuk pretend to be his boyfriend and not even consulting him properly when he thought it was time to call it a day. 

Seunghyuk laughed even harder at the incomprehension on Minghao’s face. He freed his hand from Minghao’s and pulled him into his side. “I wouldn't have asked you to be my friend if I rejected you. I know how hard it is.”

Guilt flared in Minghao’s stomach but Seunghyuk happily ignored that. His quiet chuckles were barely-there snuffles against Minghao’s cheek and it was hot where the tears seeped between them. Minghao belatedly wound his arms around Seunghyuk's waist and listened for the pleased hitch in his breath. 

“Do you mean it? Do you really mean it?” Seunghyuk whispered. 

Of course it was the least Minghao could do - meaning his words, not asking out of pity or anything as ugly as that. Seunghyuk had done so much for Minghao so it would be a disservice to ask him something like this without meaning his words with every fibre of his being - so he tipped his head onto Seunghyuk's shoulder and tightened the grip around his waist. 

“Seunyukkie-hyung, I love you,” Minghao said. He waited for a moment for the words to be absorbed and for any sign that this was what Seunghyuk needed for his happiness to flourish. Seunghyuk coughed lightly, didn't quite raise his hand to his mouth because his hands were rooted to Minghao’s sleeves, and exhaled shakily. Minghao added, “Will you go out with me?”

Seunghyuk sprung away from Minghao in an instant and slapped his hands over his face as he flopped backwards onto Minghao’s bed. All the stiffness in his body had abated and he rolled onto his side, curving imperceptibly towards Minghao without daring for much more. He flinched at the tentative prod to his shoulder but didn't move much more than that despite the hushed gasps. 

“Hyung?” Minghao pressed. It wouldn't do if Seunghyuk had spontaneously died. It would be tragic to lose his true love like this when he had organised his thoughts and his bravery enough to even ask. Minghao poked Seunghyuk again and could finally breathe easily when Seunghyuk blindly snatched at the his finger and held on for dear life. 

“Minghao, or Justin… how are we having this conversation? My mind can't keep up,” Seunghyuk muttered softly. 

Minghao felt confident so he said, “I can try English too if you'd like. I love you, my boyfriend.” 

Minghao’s wasn't particularly good at English but Seunghyuk dropped his hand from his face to reach up and hold Minghao’s finger with both of his hands. “Is this real?”

Minghao shook his head. “No.” Seunghyuk's eyes slipped shut and his lips pursed. Minghao must have been getting ahead of himself to make light like this so he amended, “You haven't even answered me yet.”

That repaired the expression on Seunghyuk's face and he pulled Minghao down to lie beside him. It had been a while since they had done anything like this. It only seemed strange now to Minghao that lying on his bed and studying the minute shadows of Seunghyuk's face was something that he had done multiple times (it was practice ordinary simply just because he could. he wasn't really sure what why but it was something he had liked doing until they broke up) but the possibility that he had more of this ahead of him dissolved the strangeness away until it was no more than a solute in the concern reflected in Seunghyuk's eyes. 

“Do you think I could say no to you?”

“You could,” Minghao noted. “If it isn't what you want I won't make you waste your time with me.”

Seunghyuk's palm was warm and dry as it slid up Minghao’s neck and his fingers slightly traced the lines of Minghao’s jaw. He pressed his hand to the swell of Minghao’s cheek and he smiled slowly. 

“Of course I want to go out with you. I have been waiting for the chance for months. I won't waste it.” 

  
  
  
  


It had been difficult for Minghao to drag himself out of bed the next morning. His body was heavy with the exhaustion of running for miles and miles when the most he had done was have a difficult conversation. But he was trying to be a better person and at some point that meant continuing to go to school to try to make his mum happy. She was happy anyway, judging by her daily phone calls, but Minghao didn’t want her to think he was wallowing in self-pity once more after managing to attend school for a day. 

Minghao was excited. He had mostly worked things out with Seunghyuk and he was eager to see him again, but he wasn’t sure how to act. Even when Minghao closed the front gate behind him and Seunghyuk was right there, waiting, he wasn’t sure how to act. 

“Hi,” Minghao said. 

“Good morning, Justin,” Seunghyuk said. He smiled but he kept his hands in his pockets. 

This wasn’t the same as pretending where there was a suggestion that they should hold hands or rest heads on shoulders or allow mouths to venture X-amount of centimetres away from each other’s. This was Seunghyuk smiling warmly but his eyes trembling and not knowing where to look when he greeted Minghao on a new day. This was Minghao uncertain of how much he could ask for if this new thing was only hours old. 

Last night Seunghyuk had gone home with a headache which was understandable considering Minghao hadn’t seen him cry so much in his whole life. This morning, there were hollow smudges beneath Seunghyuk’s eyes and it looked like he hadn't slept. They weren’t very good at being happy, Minghao thought privately. 

They walked side by side, but not closely enough to touch, and Minghao waited for it to get easier. 

It didn’t. Hyungseob watched them approach and didn’t open his mouth until they were standing right in front of him. He scrutinised the both of them, and like he had once before, he said, “You two are strange today.”

Seunghyuk glanced at Minghao before he nodded. “We are.”

Hyungseob regarded them for a moment longer before distaste flitted over his features. “Oh,” he said flatly. “I see.”

“Yeah.”

Minghao wasn’t sure how this counted as communication but they had reached a consensus of some kind as they walked. Minghao tried to trail behind, just in case this was something he was better off being absent for, but even Hyungseob slowed the pace for him. If Minghao had taken another day off school, Seunghyuk and Hyungseob could have talked in the time it took them to reach Euiwoong’s street. But Minghao was with them and when Euiwoong greeted them politely Hyungseob made an unnecessarily loud announcement. 

“They're going out for real, Woong.”

Euiwoong didn't falter for a second. He smiled widely and said, “Congratulations.”

It was still difficult for Minghao to think of Euiwoong as the person that Daehwi hated but it was even more difficult to suppress the reminder even at times like this. Euiwoong was handsome and polite and Daehwi hated him. Euiwoong was cold and unsympathetic after flinching from his own pain and Minghao felt guilty for not hating him too. But they shared a degree of friendship and Minghao was happy that Euiwoong wasn't wielding thorns and barbs with his tongue. 

The look Seunghyuk gave Minghao spanned atoms and galaxies and an odd part of Minghao wished for something cruel from Euiwoong (from Hyungseob, from anyone!) to balance the weightlessness in his head. 

“It has taken some time but right now I am really happy,” Seunghyuk said. 

Hyungseob smiled, tight-lipped and glossy-eyed, and Euiwoong patted Seunghyuk's shoulder. “This is the way things are meant to be.”

Hyungseob exhaled sharply and chuckled stiffly as though he had never meant it at all. “Euiwoong is right, Justin. Sometimes things are easy because you aren't supposed to try too hard for them.” His eyes flickered to Seunghyuk for just a second and he looked calmer when his gaze returned to Minghao. “You should take it easy now.”

Minghao didn't entirely understand, but this was Hyungseob quelling the unease between them. this was Hyungseob forgiving him for being the person who Seunghyuk wanted to be with. This was Hyungseob looking grim and wishing him well. Minghao accepted the words, deciding he would realise what it meant later on, and he nodded. 

“Thank you, Hyung. I hope you can take it easy too.”

Hyungseob shrugged affably and gestured for everyone to continue on to school. The line of his shoulders was stiff but he was grinning when he looked back to ask why nobody was following him. 

Euiwoong made a joke about Hyungseob not knowing the way (not a funny joke at all but Seunghyuk and Hyungseob laughed, loud and full in the vastness of the frigid morning, so Minghao smiled too) and linked arms with him. Seunghyuk smiled at Minghao and bridged the space between them. 

“Justin, can I hold your hand?”

The pressure of their palms steadied the thumping in Minghao’s chest and this felt a lot like taking it easy.    
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all, folks!! I am glad to finally get this done with (sorry that the content suffered. Like I'm sorry I know the whole first scene is really choppy and weird but there was a chance this would not have got finished at all so, unfortunately, that's the way it must be - in fact most of it does not make sense and seems rushed considering I have been staring at this thing for over!! a!!! month!!!!!! sorry!!!!!!) and I hope at least the ending was satisfactory!! I had some difficulties (due to laziness hahaha) and I really would not have been able to complete this without much needed cheerleading from (amazing writers and people who are funny and great and the best and I love a lot) [Rebekah](https://twitter.com/jy_kim8008) and [Cat](https://twitter.com/zhujungjungting) and [Merryn](https://twitter.com/jinyoungsankles) (sorry for the constant whining orz)
> 
> I have a jinseob spinoff in the works which I am slowly having fun with!! It is quite fun to look at this story from a different perspective but I won't be making any claims on how long posting will take me OTL I am Unreliable as they come haha.

**Author's Note:**

> I have [twitter](https://twitter.com/SEpupppupp) and we can follow each other there if you want!!


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